My step mom reminded me this morning of the fact that we had a cat for two days but it ran away because I wasn’t strong enough to stand up to my dad.
This story is a reminder that LVM only care about themselves and disregard things that make the people close to them happy. LVM will also never admit that they are responsible for hurting you and will instead claim that you’re overreacting and being unfair. LVM love to make you feel like your emotions aren’t justified because then you won’t trust the way you feel the next time they treat you badly.
‘Why do you keep bringing that up? I said I was sorry!’ - this is classic LVM code for ‘What I did could be fixed with a half assed apology. Stop reminding me of the abuse I’ve done because it ruins my day!’
When I was about fourteen, I adopted a cat who was a little over a year old. He was beautiful, a grey and white tabby with a super cute face. He was, as you would expect, nervous his first night home and wanted to hide. My dad is impatient and though we should force him to mingle with us or he would stay scared which is the stupidest thing I had ever heard but he was my dad so I let him attempt to hold my terrified cat to try and ‘bond’ with him. He got scratched and blamed it on the cat being aggressive.
The next day he complained that the litter box was smelly and he didn’t want this cat to be an indoor cat. I tried to tell him that he would just be inside for a little while so he could become more confident and know this was his home.
Literally the first full day of our ownership of our cat and he’s already complaining he doesn’t want the cat. Unbelievable considering he should have said some before we got the cat if he had a problem with it because now we own a cat.
He then suggested we let the cat outside. I say absolutely not because any sane person can tell you that’s a bad idea. But my dad persisted. He said that’s what the previous own had told him to do...
I tell him why don’t we just show him the outside through being in the conservatory. So we all go into the conservatory and as soon as I put my cat down my dad opens the door and let’s the cat run out.
As I watch helpless, knowing he’s too fast to catch, my scared cat sprints out the door and over the fence.
I never saw my cat again.
My dad gets very defensive when I bring it up. He never admitted he was wrong but instead will only apologise for the cat never returning.
As a young girl being raised by my dad and step mom, having no friends, being ruthlessly bullied at school and being treated by my dad as a wife substitute, that cat meant comfort and something that would cuddle me when I was sad. I needed an emotional support more than anything else in the world and my dad couldn’t even give me an ounce of his sympathy to my plight.
My dads impatient and erratic behaviour cost me so much and he couldn’t even see the damage he had done to me. He would even go as far as make jokes that the cat has probably found a new owner that was treating him like a prince. What’s more likely is he died by being hit by a car and I have to live with never knowing what happened to him.
My step mom defends what he did, but I know he did it because he didn’t want the cat and he didn’t care what I needed in terms of my mental well-being.
It’s that simple.
Edit: Just for some context I have two cats and a tortoise now. The older cat is mainly my step moms and the younger cat is one I adopted as an emotional support animal and she is very wonderful. My dad tried to do this crap with my kitten when we had literally just brought her home and I was having none of it. Then had to put up with threats he would throw her out after he found so poo stuck to her fur because, you know, kittens are only just learning to use the litter box.
I had a dog but my dad decided he didn’t want it after I had been raising him for month already and gave him to some friends and had the audacity to cry about the decision after dropping off our dog at the people house.
My step mom also LOVED this dog and still cries every time she thinks about him. So yeah my dads a LVM and that never changes. He refuses to get therapy and felt personally attacked when I started therapy recently. Enough so that he threatened to leave me and my step mom because ‘he didn’t feel loved’.
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