Standard basic manners, I mean. When I was dating post divorce at 40 I met a lot of LVM and learned some hard lessons. Something that surprised me though was the lack of basic manners.

Gross things like treating burping and farting as a joke and acting like you’re uptight for not thinking it was hilarious, but things like not looking up from the tv when I would come over for “dates” and keep switching channels, or not introducing me to people and just carrying on a conversation while I stood there trying to think if a “cool girl” way to join the conversation without looking like I was too needy (so sad, I know).

Things that my SO does that are just basic things that he learned as a child, my friends gush over. Example: After he met one of my closest friends for the first time, she couldn’t stop talking about how kind he was. All he did was literally stand up, walk over to her, shake her hand, say he was glad to finally meet her and had heard such great things about her. He’s been around her plenty since then but if we are around people who don’t know him she will fall over herself describe this really mundane interaction.

Yes, I’m glad he’s not rude, but manners are not some test of character - anyone can learn them. I enjoy that he knows how to make people comfortable when meeting them, but that’s kind of the starting point in a way, you know?

And the sad thing is that if he acted in way that made me break up with him, I know many of my friends would say “oh no! He was so nice, give him another chance!” * edited for paragraphs!