Gaming = Violence?

eatnthrowtrashaway · 2021-04-26T17:02:06+00:00

The issue with gaming is that men made it a personality instead of what it is or what it should be: a hobby.

It shouldn’t be a lifestyle but the whole term “gamer”and how men get all high and mighty about gaming has shifted it into one in a societal sense. To where now it’s 100% socially acceptable to be a man whose only hobby and personality is gaming in every spare moment.

It shouldn’t be. Any hobby can get out of hand if it starts consuming your life.

Personally I casually play games as a fun little hobby maybe once a week or less. I despise “gaming culture” and “gamers” and find it pretty cringe and full of crusty men and nlogs. It’s just a fun little hobby to do now and again and it sounds like OP is that way too. So in that case I think playing games is fine even if they are somewhat violent. I play a lot of Skyrim and Fallout not for the violence but for the storylines but I will say I don’t feel like the violence in the games effects me anymore than watching the occasional horror or period drama series would.

Men spend soooo much time gaming they become “game sick” like when they become “porn sick” and cannot separate reality from fiction and hence are prone to become more violent. That’s why a man who only plays first person shooters in his spare time would be a solid no for me, companionship wise.

It’s more about the exposure and obsession than the violent content I feel. The truth is gaming needs to stop being elevated among men as something to consume so much energy over and needs to be seen more as a hobby not a lifestyle. Otherwise like any other addiction, it has consequences.

shirtofsleep · 2021-04-26T15:55:33+00:00

The video game industry is bigger then the movie industry, and I tend to judge it the same way. Would your life be out of balance watching as many hours of movies? Is the quality of the content positive, mildly negative, or extremely negative with regard to violence or how it represents women? (It’s hard to find purely level up movies, but I still watch a movie or tv more weeks than not. I agree that games are more involving than movies.

As a parent, I ruled out all first person shooter and any dialogue with people we didn’t know on real life until after high school. My bigger restriction was time limits that prevented them from developing skills with the controller, and broke the time-based rewards systems, as I redirected them.

Horizon Zero Dawn is a great game beloved in our house.

ShittyPianist · 2021-04-26T16:56:17+00:00

Ooooh. I've struggled with video game addition before, and I've played a lot of games, so I feel like I have a good amount of experience with this.

I don't think video games as a whole cause violence, as I am a big gamer (thanks quarantine, you're great) and for most of my life, my mood works independently of whatever happened in said game. My addiction problems were during times in my life where any sort of escapism would have helped - work, alcohol, etc - and the addiction did influence my mood. Tho that's less the video game's fault, and moreso my situation at the time and bad coping mechanisms.

Like all things, everything is fine in moderation. If you play some Overwatch with your friends every so often, life is fine. Animal Crossing when you're stressed? Neat. Throwing your plans out the window and playing League until 5am - abort mission, you've gone too deep.

While I don't think video game make people violent, I do think that they are one of the many online forums/groups/etc that encourages a kind of group-think, and it is important to be able to recognize when you're getting close to a group of people who are no good for you. In recent years, I've stopped gaming with a handful of groups that I later realized were very toxic, sexist, awful people who used video games as an excuse to state their opinions and then pretend they were just joking. Now, I stick to either solo player games, online games with no chat features (e.g. Outriders), or playing Overwatch with some very zen friends of mine who majorly frown on all toxicity.

I'm not a parent, so I can't speak much to that. Tho I do think the internet/gaming provides an avenue for a parent to better teach their child about what kind of communication to look out for and also, red flags in group and interpersonal dynamics. It's also a good way to teach about addiction and moderation. Tho again, I'm not a parent, just someone wishing parents would look at the other side of the same coin.

Mcccy · 2021-04-26T18:32:56+00:00

Like another comment said the problem is how some make gaming their entire life.

Also I personally think violent games cause you to become apathetic to violence, just like any constant other exposure to something makes you apathetic towards it.

Ex. The first time my uncle took me hunting and I shot a bird I cried and almost passed out from watching the poor bird wiggling around. Few weeks later, the sight of dead birds and shotgun sounds just stopped scaring me.

Now if 10 year old me played a game where I had to shoot people, I'd probably freak out and cry. But if Im 15-20 and I play this game everyday, I'll eventually become apathetic to the sight of blood and the idea of death.

And no, I wouldn't let my future boy games. At least not games where he can talk to other gamers, cause men are just, They are just plain awful at these chats. Also I really don't think violent games match well with testosterone and their toxic masculinity.

DontAskTwice-A-Roni · 2021-04-26T18:48:55+00:00

Gaming is fine despite how men have totally crapped on the culture with their misery and misogyny.

I grew up playing video games with my dad and my siblings. Back in the day (oof I sound old lol) video games like Mario and Sonic the hedgehog were seen as family friendly things. Arcades were everywhere and it was common to see parents playing age appropriate games with their kids. Even my mom, who hates video games, would hop on and play a match of Street Fighter 2 or ghosts and goblins if our dad was at work and we begged her to play with us.

Men, however, bastardized the industry (as they do with everything) and made it a hostile, miserable, exclusive place. I still play video games but I don’t play with other people anymore. I stick to solo games and mind my business. I avoid gaming culture like the plague because males made gaming into their sole personality trait and Live chat allowed them to be vicious and nasty and bitter to each other, but especially to women.

With all of that being said, all of the data shows that video games do not make people violent. All that happened was that video games began reaching more people. It only appears that most violent men video games because most men in general play video games these days.

Pretty much anything can become an addiction so you’ve got to keep your eye out for addictive behaviors and addictive personality traits. Not just with gaming but with social media and other things too.

My sister still plays games like LOL, DOTA, WOW and other MMOs, and she’s doing fine. I don’t have kids, but if I did, I’d be fine with them playing games so long as I monitored what they were playing, how often they were playing, and ensured that their other responsibilities were met first.

Gaming culture is totally toxic though. I stay away from YouTube channel comment sections, gaming conventions, etc. But that’s just for my own personal sanity. I hate how men have sucked a lot of the fun out of gaming.

Edit: Lots of words because I’m a big goof

Charming-Bee-2337 · 2021-04-26T19:34:45+00:00

Ive dated gamers and gaming in games where they can lose a lot does effect them. Like in first person shooters, it makes them have a short temper. If video games arent effecting your mood then youre fine, but I think it effects men because of their testosterone. It just does something to them. Games are made to be addictive and set off the reward system in the brain.

I also wouldnt say guys who watch violent TV shows and movies all the time are fine either... It desensitizes them.

West-Cook · 2021-04-26T20:58:49+00:00

I feel like there is a violence and video game correlation, but it’s not that video games make people violent; it’s that violent men like games that let them be violent.

lluviaazul · 2021-04-27T03:38:00+00:00

I think video games mainly online bring out the worse in people. If you’re already prone to being angered easily you bet your ass online gaming is going to make it worse. I also think it depends in how addicted you might be. If your life revolves around climbing the ranks of a specific game you’re going to feel like shit if you keep demoting. It’s all about balance! Making sure you have other things going on in your life. I’ve been a gamer my whole life. It’s how I grew up and it’s something I’m always going to have a fondness for. I recently climbed to high gold in league i want to keep climbing and eventually participate in clash. There are days where I’ll play too much and I’ll notice I’m getting very frustrated and agitated. So I stop and take a few days off to reset and focus on other parts of my life. It’s about balance.

Twohagsover30 · 2021-04-26T15:54:24+00:00

I think it depends.

I'm imaging my HVF friend who plays Animal Crossing in her she shed. It's relaxing escapism for her. Or my ESL friend who is addicted to Words with Friends, expanding their English vocabulary on the daily with a bit of friendly competition mixed in. I dont think there is anything but joy in gaming for my friends.

However, MOST gaming- like ALL male dominated spaces- are full of toxicity, violence, racism, and misogyny. We should actively avoid these spaces for our own well being.

As a radfem, I avoid toxic masculinity as portrayed in films, music, or any other media platform and actively speak out against consuming such messages. We must be gender and race critical if we hope to change the world.

pretty_kill · 2021-04-26T16:02:15+00:00

It depends on the game and how it fits into your lifestyle I think. I still have a gaming computer and a Switch. I just can’t game as much as I used to, and I want to use that time for other stuff like my hobbies. I have friends who ask me to play a lot and I have to tell them no because I’d prefer to read or sleep early or even just “relax” watching some Netflix.

I think gaming culture overall is incredibly misogynistic. If I have children, I’m going to try to encourage them to have another hobby. It’s really hard to introduce gaming and have them only use it it small doses.

I haven’t gamed too much since discovering FDS because my life has gotten busy. I’m not sure how comfortable I’d be going into those spaces. I definitely will look at it differently now.

One-Strength-5394 · 2021-04-26T18:09:56+00:00

I used to play video games quite a bit when I was younger but was restricted by money. Now I'm more restricted by time and interest. Video games have become kind of copy and paste to me. I went through college without playing games because I knew it would be a waste of time. Then got a job, got a PS4, and played all the games I had put as high priority (maybe 15) on a list I made over time while in college. Then I stopped and started other hobbies like language learning. I think gaming a great activity for language learning. Maybe when I'm more advanced in my target language, if there is a released game that I'm interested in I will play it. But for now I have other things to do. Gaming isn't a problem as long as you leave yourself time for other things and don't neglect those important areas in life. Two hours a week is absolutely fine. Ya know, games are very cinematic and so it's similar to watching a movie or show.

I think gaming for guys is like... idk they have a ton of testosterone and maybe that has something to do with their reactions. I don't want to blame it on that as that could be cause for all the repulsive stuff they do. Maybe part of the cause of the reactions is what the media shows, which shows men getting angry at the games. As a child I thought that was how I was supposed to feel that way as well. Like, is there something wrong with me if I'm not getting angry over this game?

me_ology · 2021-04-26T19:35:04+00:00

This question is so interesting! I play video games myself, since I was a child so I have a lot to say about this topic.

I think it is acceptable if you have balance, like you said. I think it's okay to play video games if you're still managing your educational/work duties and you're still interacting with people in your life and have other hobbies. If gaming is your whole life, I don't think thats good at all.

I have a theory also. I grew up like you, gaming a lot and I've played a variety of games over the years. The only addictive game I ever played was League of Legends. I'm sure you know it, it's very competetive and such strong replayability. You can keep playing a new match, over and over again with the same dynamics and rules but it's a different experience each time because you play with different players who are playing different champions (characters) each time. And you yourself can switch champions. Every match you play is a battle and you desperately wanna win.

I think games like this, from genres like FPS, MOBA etc breed both the addictiveness of gaming and the toxicity you see from people screaming at their screams, swearing, flaming their teammates.

Before my time playing League of Legends, I played Sims 3 a lot and I never felt addicted even though I loved it so much. I still was able to manage my outside life and my grades had never been better. And after my time playing League of Legends, I've drifted more into single player story-based games where there isn't much replayability. I'll play a game and when the story is finished, I've finished the game. Sometimes I've played for 2-3 hours daily, sometimes 2 hours twice a week/once a week. Sometimes I play for 2 hours once every 3 weeks. But whatever the duration and the amount, its never affected my outside life, so I've continued to do my studies, work, enjoy my other hobbies/interests etc. Gaming is something I really enjoy but I don't feel the need to play it all day, everyday. I think a big part of this is because of the games I choose to play.

I'm not a parent but I do have a little brother. My mum has never put in any restriction to his video games ever. He's literally played all day, every day and she's fine with it. I think I used to be fine with it too until I came on FDS and the women were talking about how toxic it was to play video games all the time. I agreed with everything that was said and it reminded me of my experience all those years ago so I spoke about it with my mum and my brother and it was decided that he could only play for 5 hours max on weekends and everyday on holidays. Once the 5 hours are reached, the Xbox would lock. It's like a parental control sort of thing. 5 hours still feels like so much to me but my mum thought 8 hours was suitable daily so, there was no going lower than that. If it was up to me, 2 hours max a day on weekends only and daily during school holidays.

My brother also has never been able to access video games rated above his age so he's only ever played age appropriate games on the Xbox. This is another parental control thing. It's always been insane to me how parents are giving their 8 year olds COD games and GTA.

What I'm doing with my brother, I don't think it's any guarantee that he wont turn out low value with a gaming addiction because the conditions are already in place. If I have kids, I will let them play video games because they were such a big part of my childhood but it would never be a case where they could play all day, everyday. I would encourage them to take part in other activities, inside and outside of the home. And I would definitely always make sure that the video games did not affect their grades at school. The reason I say this is because video games have affected both me and my brother. Through my addiction from LOL, I didn't do well in my exams and I actually lost out on university places. And my brother actively chose video games over his school work 100% of the time. He was getting multiple calls home from his teachers because he wasn't do any of his work. He still doesn't put in much effort because he doesn't care.

BasilGreenEyes · 2021-04-26T21:50:34+00:00

About the addiction to games, other members have expressed their experience better than I would. If you have an alloted time and don't abuse and affect your "real life" I don't think there is a problem. Regarding the question of the violence derived or not from the games, I firmly believe that if you are a balanced person it doesn't matter. I tend to compare to horror films, for example. I love them, and I love serial killer films or TV series. Does that mean that I am going to start killing people? No, because I am a balanced person and don't mistake what is right or wrong.

The problem with online gaming is that is a male dominated space. And with all male dominated spaces toxic masculinity is rampant. They scream, they rage, they insult, etc. Does that mean that you can't have a good time playing? No, but it's going to be difficult to some extent.

A while ago there was an article about how "gamers" treated women gamers. It said that the best gamers were the ones treating women (and men) better. But the mediocre players were violent and abusive with the rest of the players, especially women. The reason is that the best ones didn't feel threatened by the women playing, but the mediocre ones were in a rage because their perceived threats to their status. Just like HVM / LVM.

Enjoy your game and always keep vigilant to the time expent in them.

shelballama · 2021-04-26T17:02:21+00:00

[deleted]

2021-04-27T03:13:06+00:00

[deleted]

Title	Gaming = Violence?
Author	shelballama
Upvotes	77
Comments	48
Date	April 26, 2021 3:44 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mz0mz7/gaming_violence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/gaming-violence.760957 https://theredarchive.com/post/760957

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