Hidden text notifications!!

dior-not-war · 2020-07-29T16:53:57+00:00

Something is definitely going on. There is absolutely no reason for him to have suddenly changed that unless he’s hiding something bad. He’s either talking to another woman or already sleeping with her. Both of my exes that had their notifications muted turned out to be cheating or talking to other girls. One of them had me put my fingerprint in his phone (I didn’t ask, he suggested it) and when I went to use his phone a week later he had already removed it. I would find a way to go through his phone because if you confront him he’ll probably just lie.

NessaMonsta17 · 2020-07-29T17:26:51+00:00

Suspect. Honestly. The tingle in the gut is the warning system doing its job. The question is maybe be patient and see if he slips up. I'd snoop if it's possible. And if I find something, I'd start to detach. And leave. I would not waste my time trying to talk a cheater out of cheating. Clearing they aren't ready for real commitment. And why should I have to even talk about this, when he should be mature in the relationship.

Example: I had an ex that was getting notifications from a dating site we met on. I talked that we need to delete our accounts. He agreed. So I did and I screen shotted the proof. And sent it to him. He didn't send it to me.

I'm like hmm, ok. I was scheduled to visit him the next day anyway. So I go to visit and his old phone is getting notifications from the date site. All I saw was the msg icon pop up. I already recognized it, because I met him there and I have gotten that same notification in the past.

So I look at him with a serious quiet face and said "I thought we agreed to delete our accounts." he said " oh I don't use that phone, it has no service." my first thought was, straight to excuse I see, I'm done. I said back to him " hmm, Oh really, hmm Ok." he saw my face's nonchalant, the dark clouds rolling in look lol I dunno what but he panicked and quickly deleted the account and showed it to me in my face right then and there. He said " look see I deleted. I looked up at him and back at the phone and said " I'm tired, I'm going to bed"

And he tried all night to make things right but my mind was I'm 2 hours from home. As soon as the morning comes he is never gonna see me again. I let him think things were alright but he could tell. And then I left and ended things. I told him I'm not happy and that he lacked a lot for me. I was honest about things. He wasn't worth the stress. He spent a year trying things here and there, trying to get me back, even said I love you. I'm sure he does but that cause I was a great gf to him.

I've been cheated on the past so much and its traumatized me. My exes where cheaters and mentally abusive and one was Narcissistic.

So if I ever get an excuse from a guy, instead of him telling the truth.. I say my goodbyes. I am too good of a woman to have to sit there and go back and forth with a man to get him to act right. They don't wanna and I don't got to tolerate them. So hun don't fall for the excuse book.

willowgrowingroots · 2020-07-29T16:50:49+00:00

I’d snoop. Don’t let it slide, your intuition is correct.

Edit: read some of the comments on this thread and I take my advice back —just trust your gut and dump him. He may have no evidence there anyways.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-07-29T16:49:24+00:00

Dump him. Something is going on.

electroloop · 2020-07-29T16:57:13+00:00

Something is definitely going on. I’m sorry sis, dump his ass.

Also I’d like to add there’s a more sinister way for men to get away with cheating. They’re able to mute their notifications entirely, as in, they’ll receive a text or a message and the phone won’t notify them that they received anything at all.

Then, behind your back, they’ll check on the accumulation of these messages that had no notification coming up for them.

painmakesyoustronger · 2020-07-29T16:53:12+00:00

Don’t snoop. That’s beneath you. Just dump him. No explanation. Don’t let him learn how to be more successful with his deception or gaslight you into staying and accepting his behavior.

What’s your monthly talk, out of curiosity?

2020-07-29T18:03:04+00:00

[deleted]

Pasdepromesses · 2020-07-29T17:55:23+00:00

In my experience very bad news.

I did the surprise attack. When he didn't expect it I told him that I was probably worried about nothing but that he could ease my mind by showing his phone. You HAVE to do this face to face and it has to be NOW. Don't let him out of sight with the phone. My ex literally tried to delete some shit while I was sitting next to him, haha. They're unbelievable.

If he's a LVM and/or has to hide something he will be angry. But it doesn't matter if this will damage the relationship because he's LV and/or he's (emotionally) cheating. A HVM with good intentions will be offended, but will let you see everything. He will afterwards talk to you about it and how you two can built better trust.

You sure he's not planning some sort of surprise? Engagement? Birthday coming up?

ipulloffblack2 · 2020-07-29T19:57:11+00:00

You should ask straight up. But be diplomatic and confident. Don’t snoop cause that’s beneath us as honest women.

As a side note, I know multiple men and women who muted their notifications because of group chats, annoying friends/family. Myself included, I’ve randomly muted people during relationships too because the people texting me were annoying, nothing nefarious. Don’t leap to conclusions. If the answer is honest then you build trust and it won’t be on the back on snooping. If the answer doesn’t add up, then yeah he’s probably doing something he knows he shouldn’t(otherwise he wouldn’t have muted)

Capable_Okra · 2020-07-29T17:38:59+00:00

I would snoop just to confirm, but when you find something, don't confront him about it. It only opens you up to potential manipulation and gaslighting by him. If he feels comfortable lying to you then he's definitely not going to care about anything you have to say. If he's lying to you, of course he knows how it would hurt you. So you don't need to tell him because he already knows, and he just doesn't care. Make your exit swift and keep your dignity intact.

Hour_Scarcity · 2020-07-29T17:05:14+00:00

You only talk once a month?

Title	Hidden text notifications!!
Author	divinehelper
Upvotes	34
Comments	19
Date	July 29, 2020 1:41 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i00w1o/hidden_text_notifications/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/hidden-text-notifications.719332 https://theredarchive.com/post/719332

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