How did you end a long term relationship with a LVM once you learned about FDS?

Jinxhourglass · 2020-08-04T00:33:28+00:00

You never need something new to break up over. You can break up at anytime for any reason.

tellmesomething11 · 2020-08-04T00:13:57+00:00

Just say it. Just say “this isn’t working out.” If y’all live together, start making arrangements. It’s not easy, sometimes the man won’t wanna go, he knows he ain’t shit but he still is used to being comfortable. But it all starts with one sentence. “ this isn’t working out for me.”

MakeURegret · 2020-08-04T01:04:44+00:00

Someone put it this way to me once.

I’ve interned at a job before and got $0 pay. That’s no excuse for that same employer I interned with, upon hiring me full time, to still pay me $0. And it’s no excuse for any future employer to pay me $0.

Your standards are allowed to change even mid relationship.

Imagine you found out your company was paying your male colleague double for the exact same work you did. Would you just shrug your shoulders? Would you just say well I’ve been working @ $X salary so I can’t ask for $2X salary now? No!!! You’d demand they give you a raise and you’d be damn right to do it.

Break it off with him and then block and delete him everywhere so you don’t get tempted to go back.

2020-08-04T02:00:22+00:00

[deleted]

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-08-04T02:38:46+00:00

One LVM abuser I was with turned on me and started screaming at me in public after a car accident that someone he knew got us into. I hurt my neck back hip and shoulder in the accident. The first moment we were alone I told him it was over and dumped his ass cold as hell. He lived in another country and I still had two weeks there and I certainly wasn't going to go home early. I stayed the two weeks and he was on much better behavior. When he took me to the airport he asked me if we were still together. I looked at him with zero emotion and said "I don't know what made you think that." and I turned around and walked away and got on my plane. Never even looked back. It was such a nice feeling after all the abuse he put me through.

At some point you have to be completely done in your soul. And if you aren't completely done then you got to rip that Band-Aid off and deal with the pain.

My advice is to get mad. Make a list of what he did to you and get pissed off. In the anger you will find the strength to leave.

lival42 · 2020-08-04T00:22:20+00:00

“Eh, I’m not into it going forward. I’m breaking up with you - I don’t want to see you anymore.”

brama_zon · 2020-08-04T02:48:44+00:00

Plan ahead.

If you live together start packing, slowly. Move things as you can.

Figure out your plan and then do it. There doesn't have to be a 'reason'.

You just don't want to be with him anymore, really that's reason enough.

GretaTheBeeotch · 2020-08-04T03:57:39+00:00

Cold & composed. Focus on those two words. He will try to suck you back into drama because it’s always worked in the past. I haven’t been perfect at it, but overall it’s helped my keep my cool since I told my abusive SO of 20 years to leave 3 months ago. Also highly recommend Lundy Bancroft’s “Why Does He Do That?” If money is an issue PM me & I will send a copy anywhere you request. Good luck sister, you’ve got this ; )

2020-08-04T04:38:13+00:00

You can just say you don’t feel the same for him anymore. I know everyone says you don’t need a reason but that’s what makes it so hard. Btw he WILL guilt trip you into staying and he will throw a fit so be aware. You really just have to stick to your guns. Be sure to block and delete, that step is super important.

swamp_barber · 2020-08-04T04:16:58+00:00

For me, knowing that my pickme self did absolutely everything I possibly could to make things work and him still coming up short has made me a lot more content with my decision.

I can tell you life gets a whole lot easier once you let him go. I made a list of every account we were friends on and all of his family, mutual friends met through him, and immediately after saying those words he was gone.

It honestly didn’t hurt at all when I thought it would because I know I truly did everything. And he couldn’t even do one thing. It’s made it a lot easier to not even be tempted to look him up or even entertain thoughts of getting back together.

ontherailstoday · 2020-08-04T05:11:24+00:00

Just tell him you're done. The relationship is stagnant, and you have decided to set both of you free from it.

screamin_in2the_void · 2020-08-04T03:12:15+00:00

If you live together definitely listen to the comments about preparing things ahead of time. You don't owe anyone an explanation for needing to distance from them if they don't add to your life. Just say you don't see this relationship bettering your future and thus need to end it. In my experience they'll beg for you not to leave or say some form of you'll be back be prepared for that and stick to remembering you deserve better because you're not responsible to heal from something in the past if you never felt it was dealt with. Especially if it is things that have persisted they will keep being problems for good and get worse if you get "stuck" in a marriage or living situation. Don't settle. Once you do, delete his number, block him, do everything you can to not only prevent him from contacting you but you contacting him if that has also been a reason for getting back together in the past. Goodluck you've got this!

AfraidofFollowers · 2020-08-04T19:06:18+00:00

Mine left in handcuffs after I called 911. They took pictures of my face and we were officially divorced 12 months later. He didn’t even show up to court.

Do not wait. Get financially independent as fast as possible and go live your best life!

Title	How did you end a long term relationship with a LVM once you learned about FDS?
Author	BackgroundPlankton8
Upvotes	56
Comments	19
Date	August 4, 2020 12:10 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i38unp/how_did_you_end_a_long_term_relationship_with_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-did-you-end-a-long-term-relationship-with-a.721680 https://theredarchive.com/post/721680

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