HVW Texting Patterns

Sage_Planter · 2021-11-30T04:50:47+00:00

My philosophy is that this varies from person to person. There's no "right" answer here. Some people love to text all day. Others don't.

What matters is:

Does he demonstrate consistent interest to you through consistent communication? For example, do you feel secure in things with him between dates, or does his lack of texting make you feel insecure and uncertain?
Does he communicate at a frequency you find acceptable? For example, if you can only text outside of working hours, does he respect that or send a bunch of "babe i miss u pls respond" texts so you check your phone to 292 missed messages. If you explain your boundaries like "please don't text between 9-5 when I'm at work," how does he react?
Does the communication add value to your day? For example, do you enjoy the conversation, or does it drag you down? Do you look forward to his messages?
Does the communication engage you, or is it just... whatever? Is it all about him, or is there a decent back-and-forth? Does he ask about you or expect you to carry the conversation?
Does the communication have purpose, or does he seem to just want attention? For example, is there a lot of texting without any actual plan making? A lot of men just want the attention without actually wanting to invest in you.
Does the communication stress you out? For example, do you feel like if you don't reply right away, you feel guilty or anxious? Or, are you secure enough with him that you feel like you can reply when it's best for you?

gingerwabisabi · 2021-11-30T02:18:44+00:00

I've been out of the dating game for almost a decade now, but husband and I didn't text much. He would email me long but interesting letters once or twice a day, that were quite easy to reply to, and sometimes talk on the phone or text. A lot of our time was spent face to face. I don't like texting anyone incessantly because it feels harder and harder to come up with good conversation and I feel more and more inane. I also never felt bad about telling guys that I worked a lot and it could be hours between texts - the ones who got mad about me not replying quick enough were an easy decision to delete instantly.

plomerst · 2021-11-30T02:13:55+00:00

I used to spend all day texting with my first bf. It was so low value to waste my time like that. I now keep texting to a minimum- to make/confirm plans and to check in…not as a way to get to know each other or have nonstop convo.

peaches88888 · 2021-11-30T03:06:36+00:00

I usually tell men when I give them my number that I’m not much of a texter and prefer to talk on the phone. When I get basic texts from men “how’s your day going?”, “good morning”, I just ignore them and wait for a call, or a confirmation of plans. I don’t like texting new men that I meet because it turns in to a weird waiting game, and it’s too distracting. Texting all day creates a false sense of intimacy and it’s low effort. I don’t want to date a man that’s on his phone all day anyway.. I want a man with a life. If he’s on his phone all day, chances are he watches a lot of porn and plays video games, too.

Texting makes you too accessible, and I keep a safe distance from new men. Phone calls take time and effort.

Is this high value? I don’t know, but I do know that men are boring and love to waste our precious time.

fireforestfairy · 2021-11-30T11:39:30+00:00

Don't take initiative in texting a guy and don't always text him.

apple_cores · 2021-12-01T02:50:35+00:00

Perhaps I’m in the minority, but for the most part I love texting throughout the day. I prefer it to a phone call since I can respond at my leisure and think things through before replying. Doesn’t mean I am texting every hour on the hour but in the morning, afternoon, and evening is my preference with us occasionally us texting in real time and the conversation really gets flowing. But I also want to face time somewhat regularly once we are established.

Sewud · 2021-11-30T13:32:04+00:00

I don't text. I second the other person saying she ignores filler texts like "good morning" and "what are you doing". I wouldn't be a good match with a man who texts like that anyway. I would get along with a man who doesn't text either.

Title	HVW Texting Patterns
Author	hopeful_flounder93
Upvotes	124
Comments	13
Date	November 30, 2021 1:51 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/r5bmbu/hvw_texting_patterns/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/hvw-texting-patterns.1089611 https://theredarchive.com/post/1089611

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