Ladies, I have no clue if this belongs here. Feel free to take it down if it violates any rules, I am sorry if it does.

I am getting somewhat desperate, and I have been getting that way for a while. Context: I dated a guy with BPD for over three years and finally broke up with him last March. Right after the breakup, made a horrible decision of getting into an FwB, stopped doing that last November, because I realized that though we did start having feelings for each other, he is definitely not the guy I should be with. He used to breadcrumb A Lot.

It's been a few months now and I am getting really desperate. I download dating apps, make a profile, have a shitty conversation for a while, realize that I can't find a good guy on there, delete the app. This cycle has happened so many times, I am so fed up.

I decided to go my own way, swear off guys for as long as I can. I truly want to do that because it seems to be a good and safe decision, but I keep feeling this urge to meet a guy.

I am really confused. I do not know what to do. I would really appreciate some advice. Anything would be great, constructive criticism is welcome.