I texted him after he broke things off and got ghosted. How do I overcome these intense feelings of regret and embarrassment?

LadyHormoneMonster · 2019-12-26T06:25:18+00:00

My motto is: Never text a man when you’re sad, mad or horny. In your case (and from now on), whenever you’re rejected as a lover. don’t counter with an offer of friendship. You’ll become the “friend” he only texts when he’s bored.

typicalpersian · 2019-12-26T06:27:24+00:00

You process it over time and learn to not do it again. The cringe will eventually subside.

jewdy09 · 2019-12-26T08:15:44+00:00

Eh, it’s no big deal. You did what you did and that’s behind you now. He doesn’t matter and his opinion of you matters less.

jalapenopancakes · 2019-12-26T06:30:27+00:00

Here’s what I did when I fucked up when I was single:

I got my best friend to come to my house. THAT friend: the one who calls you out on your bullshit. I confessed all, and I told her all of the stupid things I did. And then we both learned from it. We picked apart where it went wrong and where I should have known to let it go. We learned where not to go wrong next time.

And then we drank and watched shitty Netflix shows. I’d usually be fine by the next day and ready for more dates.

You’re gonna mess up. Every single woman does. Learning from those mistakes will set you apart from the pickmes who ignore the red flags. Forgive yourself.

WorkingOnMyself01 · 2019-12-26T10:03:57+00:00

Most of us have done WAY more embarrassing. ♥️

eru378 · 2019-12-26T11:08:49+00:00

Cut all contact with this guy right now and don't talk to him again. Do lots of things to distract yourself. Time is the only answer here, but you can help the process along. You'll eventually start to think about it less and less. At some point you'll stop thinking of him at all. Your feelings of regret will fade with time, too. Turn the power of those negative feelings into something positive: you've hit a low point and learned an important lesson, and now you can use this invaluable experience to become stronger and build up your self-esteem and confidence.

In the future don't stay friends with a guy after a romantic connection has ended. Nothing to gain from it and it'll just stop you from moving on to find the right guy.

throwawaynevermindit · 2019-12-26T13:49:46+00:00

Don't be embarrassed over something you said to a guy who evidently wasn't going to be part of your life anyway. There's literally 0 practical reason to even be worried about how he sees you or that text. His opinion is irrelevant.

blackopium777 · 2019-12-26T10:50:35+00:00

Everytime I do something stupid and feel really bad about it, I will mentally put it on a list of things I will never do again. When it comes up in my mind again, I force myself to think about the list and that I wont be doing it again now that its there. After some time I dont think about it. Maybe that helps?

goatismycopilot · 2019-12-26T14:00:20+00:00

Easy. Don't shoot the second arrow. Do not beat yourself up for being human. Forgive yourself, learn from it and respond differently next time. Spend more time in self love and self love activities: exercise, reading, reflection, meditation, yoga, affirmations. Be nice to you. I am making it sound easy and actually cultivating those habits are very hard. Two podcasts I like are Natalie Lue at Baggage Reclaim and Tara Brach's talks. She is a bit soooooo popular but some of Brene Brown's books are good. Treat yourself well and then when other people do not it is easy to drop the out of your life and this applies to romance and friendship.

partypancakesbacon · 2019-12-26T15:47:50+00:00

Hi yep lessons learned. This is why I don’t text to much before a first date, especially small talk. If there’s no chemistry, someone gets hurt. We’ve all been there, on both sides of things. We love, and learn. For what it’s worth, he isn’t thinking of it again, so don’t think he’s sitting there mocking you. He just doesn’t want to small talk on Christmas, or ever, and was clear about letting you move on. That’s all this is- him being clear that you should move on to other prospects, instead of him stringing you along and using you for attention or sex. You will find someone , or several :), right for you.

yeontanw · 2019-12-26T12:20:28+00:00

I've been there, it's ok. A friend doesn't do that stuff. He was friendly only when he had an interest. Block him, move on.

riseaboveagain · 2019-12-26T15:27:21+00:00

Forgive yourself. You’re a queen in training 👑

Noteatingforoneweek · 2019-12-26T15:32:05+00:00

I think like that was his way of being polite but i dont think he actually wanted to be friends

TheObservationalist · 2019-12-26T15:47:00+00:00

You don't. Feel them so the message they're teaching you sticks, then move on. Some shame n guilt never hurt anyone.

kodimerlyn · 2019-12-26T18:56:24+00:00

I have just gone through this exact same thing and much, MUCH worse. Thanks for posting. I needed to read the responses you are getting as well. 💜

Title	I texted him after he broke things off and got ghosted. How do I overcome these intense feelings of regret and embarrassment?
Author	creative_resolve
Upvotes	48
Comments	29
Date	December 26, 2019 5:25 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/efrd9y/i_texted_him_after_he_broke_things_off_and_got/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-texted-him-after-he-broke-things-off-and-got.686238 https://theredarchive.com/post/686238

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