Over the past year alone I’ve made such a transformation. I was a pichmeisha and a half I look back and can’t believe I thought how I did.

Especially as a black woman it seems we have to have a higher level of confidence than other women since we’re obviously not the typical beauty standard.

I’ve taken pride in my appearance, stopped straightening my natural hair. Rn I have box braids with no weave (not against weave tho) and braids alone were a source of insecurity and bullying growing up but they’re beautiful. I had avoided wearing them since I was a child because I was triggered by the white boys at school laughing and making jokes to me about my hair lol. Now they’re more on trend tbh but I’ve been so much happier in general and I get tons of compliments because I’ve embraced them and my beauty.

I’ve changed my bad habits. I studied harder and I changed from failing most of my classes due to depression and heartbreak to getting all A’s. I was obsessed with trying to get my ex back and I can admit it but I was addicted to him. In my worst states he was all I could think about and I felt ugly and worthless after being cheated on. Now I genuinely know I’m beautiful and not trying to prove my worth to anyone else and I feel free.

My current bf treats me very well and I appreciate him, but I’m not about to put him on a pedestal because he’s just another person. I’ll continue putting myself on my own pedestal. Now I have no time for men who are manipulative with games and wasting my time. I taught myself to recognize manipulation tactics because of that situation and to care more about myself.

I also stopped smoking because it wasn’t benefiting me.

I’m still on my journey to being better, it took a lot of journaling, self-introspection and self help information online mainly from YouTube lol. Isn’t it funny how you can learn almost anything on YouTube.

I made this post to say, no matter where you’re at in your journey, you can turn it around. Work on loving yourself and putting yourself first before dating as a man should too.