I also posted this on r/relationshipadvice and someone directed me here. I’m ready to hear your opinions and IF this relationship could be saved

This is 2 posts in one so you can only read the first one as the second one is an update.

Post 1:

I want to start off by saying that I don’t think he is, and if he is then he might be doing it unconsciously but my friends have been telling me I shouldn’t get fooled.

Last Wednesday, my boyfriend and I had a fight about me supposedly distancing myself from him (physically)

I want you to know that I’m very paranoid and my father doesn’t approve of him so 90% of the time we hang out, we shouldn’t be.

He complained that I wasn’t as clingy as I used to be. The reason is because he had told me he didn’t like me holding his hand and being clingy previously.

We didn’t speak for 2 days and on Friday he texted me saying he didn’t know if we should what to do about us. I was destroyed.

He said he just didn’t see the point because obviously I didn’t love him as much as he loved me.

The whole 2 days I had actually been crying myself to sleep and I was constantly ranting to my friend, S, about the situation.

He told me he wanted to be with me but that if I really loved him I shouldn’t hang out with my friends and should hang out with him instead because we don’t see each other a lot and that I needed to show him my love by kissing him a lot more and letting him touch me more.

We agreed and we’re still together.

That same night he started talking about how he wanted to have sex soon. I had told him numerous times I’m uncomfortable with the idea of sex right now and that I don’t feel I am ready.

He said that it was painful for him not to and that I should do it for him. I stood my ground and said that I don’t feel psychologically ready also because of a past trauma involving sex and to just wait for a while.

He still continued talking about it and told me I should try masturbating (I’ve never actually done it before) to know how it feels like and that I’d be more comfortable with it.

I declined and after a while we said our goodnights.

My friend B told me that he wasn’t worth it, and that maybe he never actually meant to break up with me, but just scare me into submission.

The whole time he was very vague and never actually said “I’m breaking up with you” or something similar.

I don’t know what to think honestly.

Edit/update: my boyfriend and I have been chatting for about an hour and he just asked “can you take a hot pic for me babe?”

And since I know that’s like a definite no-no I said no. He went “pleaseee” and I said “I don’t want to” which I don’t.

He asked me if I trusted him to which I responded yes but that I still didn’t feel comfortable.

He said “ok” and LEFT. I texted him some random shit to see if he was mad and he responded with “Mhm”

Ok then. Amazing.

If anyone wants the chats I’ll be glad to send them but they’re in Italian so yeah

Edit/update 2: ok wtf. He texted saying how much he hates himself for putting all the pressure on me and that he feels gross asking for this stuff and that he’s sorry.

I am confusion ????

Post 2:

Written a day after the original post:

Tonight he pulled the same shit.

He asked me when I was going to be ready and I told him I didn’t know, and that it would just happened when he felt right.

He responded with “oh so I’m gonna have to wait until I’m 30?” I don’t know if he was joking since it was through text, but I treated it as such.

He then started saying that he didn’t wanna pressure me and that he’d stop if I asked but that we could at least try for 5 minutes.

I said I just wasn’t ready and he said “oh ok then”

Left me alone for a bit and then said “don’t make me wait too long tho, can I at least get a picture?”

I sent him a normal selfie where I was smiling and he said “be serious, don’t torture me like this” So i sento him another selfie, this time not smiling and he seemed satisfied.

I want you to know I’m extremely uncomfortable with taking selfies and he knows that.

Another thing that happened before that is that he said, I don’t know if jokingly or not, “it’s not like I look at your face anyway, I look elsewhere”

That made me feel a bit bad. It kind of conveyed the same message as “I don’t care about your personality I just like you because you’re pretty/hot/sexy”

I know the only possible advice is LEAVE but I find it so hard... especially when I hear him laugh over the phone, my heart just melts... I’m so conflicted.

What he’s doing is so obviously messed up and it makes me feel uncomfortable but I feel like somehow it’s my fault?

By saying that someday we could have sex I just feel like I led him on...

When I was comforting him yesterday I also told him I loved him multiple times and that he’s the only thing I need.

Another thing he said today is “I’m giving you one last chance to prove to me you love me, don’t mess it up.” Referring to the reason we fought in the first place.

I felt and still feel so anxious...

I don’t know what to do even though the answer seems obvious:’)