Leaving LVM tips

Kekekeke7777 · 2020-05-31T22:04:13+00:00

Being not married can be a great advantage when leaving. You don’t have to worry about taking what’s yours and then fighting over it in court later. and even if he does call the cops over you taking a shared couch or something, nothing will usually come of it. Do you live together? One thing that helped me was planning in secret for a while, getting my financial and other affairs in order and only giving him as much info as I thought would help me. It’s a lot harder to be manipulated back when he doesn’t have anything you need. Not saying leaving him without any notice is always best (although it often is); it wasn’t for me. I gave him some notice so we could “plan together” which gave me time to get my shit together. But with other men that would have been the wrong move. You know him best and what is likely to work best to your advantage. Remember to strategize and do what is best for you in the short term and long term as much as possible., even if that’s wildly different than what others advise you. All things to your (and therefore your child’s) benefit.

seekinganyadvice · 2020-05-31T22:22:45+00:00

Do not tell him you are going to leave until you have all your ducks in a row and you are safe

Men are most dangerous when you leave them. You never know what psycho shit he could pull.

Once your gone, tell him via message (so you have proof), that you have left him and do not want any further contact. That way anything he does after this is classed as harassment legally and you have evidence.

Then block him on everything

Getting your ducks in a row = legal advice over your child custody + support. And sorting out your finances & somewhere to live

Never ever let him get wind of the fact that you are leaving till you are gone

And reach out 4 support. You cant do this alone Therapy is also an indispensable tool

Focus on you: exercise, meditate, eat well and avoid rumination

outside-perception · 2020-06-01T00:00:42+00:00

I was in an identical situation and my saving grace was a parent I didn't know until last year, my biological father. Ends up he married an American woman and stayed in a different state and we connected and bam! That was my support and he even got me the ticket.

I left with the baby and keep contact with her father but I do not engage conversation outside of our child. It's hard. I'm still going through the motions and navigating getting my ducks lined up.

Do you have any support? If so are they willing to help you get to them? Have you contacted pro bono lawyer yet?

Hopefully I can help but I'm not in Iowa.

Best of luck // held og lykke x

throwawayitst · 2020-05-31T22:47:45+00:00

Username @blackopium777 is my role model for how to stay in and leave a relationship that isn’t beneficial for you

I think i love her but her advice is better for single ladies or people with savings/ not in the position you’re in but for the other fds ladies

azureeyks · 2020-06-01T08:55:17+00:00

I had a baby to a LVM and just had enough. Porn. Pot. Not cutting off ties with his ex (they even spoke about HER sex life together. Gross) I just left after telling him I wasn’t happy. No amount of his gaslighting worked cause I was done. Good luck.

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Title	Leaving LVM tips
Author	seekinganyadvice
Upvotes	70
Comments	31
Date	May 31, 2020 9:52 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gu7t0l/leaving_lvm_tips/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/leaving-lvm-tips.674718 https://theredarchive.com/post/674718

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