I came to a realization today about being the "ugly" girl with guy "friends". People always talk about how men are so nice to their female friends because they want to get in their pants, but I just needed to rant about how terrible men are to their ugly female friends.

During my first year of college, I hung out with a group of guys. They would always say I looked like a mom, that I was ugly, fat, stupid, talked too much, etc. And of course, when I called them out, it was always the excuse of them "just joking".

I would look around and realize that they had been treating all of these girls so nicely, respectfully, and the only time they ever gave me any shred of respect or kindness was when they were using me as a free therapist. I was looking through my journal entries, and realized how abusive they were to me, and how depressed and sad I was the whole time during these "friendships".

Then, I started to branch out in school, left the group chat, and cut out all of those guy "friends". They said I was changing and becoming a fake person, but I realized that that wasn't true. What was happening was that I was changing and becoming a woman who wouldn't put up with shit, who wasn't a pickmeisha, and had some fucking self-respect. I Started learning about boundaries and self-love. I started working out, clearing up my skin, dressing better, and wearing makeup. Not to impress boys, but because I deserved to feel confident and beautiful in who I am.

And let me tell you. These scrotes are really upset. Every (few and far between) chances they get, they try to make passive-aggressive comments and try to diminish who I am and what I am doing (we live on the same dorm floor. But next year I am moving out, so this is not going to be a reality anymore). I realized through this sub that the reason they are upset is that their emotional fidget spinner of a friend who they could pick on for an ego boost has dropped them. And has been better than ever for it.

Moral of the story, watch out for male friends. Either they want to get in your pants, or are trying to use you for something. Unlike female friendships, most men lack the ability to be able to grow strong friendships, give praise, and give warmth. As I look back on all my male friends (I have always been the "not like other girls. I hang with the dudes" type girl) I understand now how male friendships are 99/100 a waste of time. Thanks to this sub, I can see it is not just me being crazy, but that these experiences make perfect sense.