Meeting men at bars or pubs

VintagePallor · 2022-02-26T16:48:31+00:00

Definitely similar chances of LVM (extremely high) but at least if you meet them IRL you can see what they truly look like, get their initial vibe, assess their style, hygiene, how they approach and speak to you, etc, etc. It cuts out a lot of steps over OLD. I wouldn't ask for a pre-date video chat if I met them IRL, for example, that function was already fulfilled. Of course that means HE already had a chance to get interested in me, get the measure of me, etc. There's literally no excuse or grace if he doesn't keep up conversation after getting my (spoofed) number and invites me for anything less than dinner. Greater value in meeting IRL vs OLD, greater standards right off the bat.

Note that I don't mean I accept coffee or drink dates from OLD but if a man seems promising but offers a drink, as they ALL do where I live, I will do a video chat. If they still don't offer dinner after that then it's block and delete time. I can understand wanting to feel someone out a bit first, that's why some women LIKE coffee "pre-dates", but we know that's a mistake and I will NEVER leave my house to have coffee or drinks with a strange man again! If you don't think I'm "worth" dinner after you see my gorgeous face and sparking personality on FaceTime then you'll NEVER appreciate me enough and we're done here. 💅✨👋

purasangria · 2022-02-26T18:29:34+00:00

Consider:

--80% of men are LVM or NVM. So your chances of running across a HVM are low in any context.

Just go out and live your life, and trust the Universe to align you with someone wonderful. You can have kids as a single mom via IVF. Don't plan your life around meeting a man; it will either happen or it wont.

Constant-Wanderer · 2022-02-26T19:17:31+00:00

I spent several years of my life in bars/clubs/barfly culture, and I can say freely and enthusiastically that I’m fine meeting someone in a bar, but if he’s a guy who goes to bars more than occasionally, then he’s very likely not the kind of guy I want.

Like we mostly ALL go to bars, there’s no logic in saying that if he’s in a bar he must be shitty. It’s his relationship with socializing and alcohol that determine his viability.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2022-02-26T19:08:57+00:00

If this is what you like to do (go to bars) and wouldn't mind your SO spending his free time there, go for it.

I personally can't stand bars, drunk people and men who make drinking a highlight of their day, so I'd never enter a relationship with a bar goer.

PinDoll · 2022-02-26T18:31:15+00:00

That’s a no for me. I think the best way to find a potentially HVM would be at conferences or hobby/ activity events/classes. If you want to start your own business, side hustle, or increase your skills in something conferences are a good start.

IndianDesiQueen · 2022-02-26T16:29:01+00:00

I find it easier to vet since you can see and get the vibes from men face to face but be super careful because that's also where A LOT of predators are so they can take advantage of women who are drunk or pester them until they "give in." It depends on the bar too. But in general, be careful when there's alcohol involved.

BasketLow8411 · 2022-02-26T17:52:24+00:00

No. I will never start a relationship from a bar again in my life. Been there, done that, and it did not end well at all.

Edited to add: I don’t drink except rarely and only with friends too, so this seems like it would be a bad way for me to meet anyone anyway.

yesmme · 2022-02-27T03:33:45+00:00

I personally don’t trust meeting men at bars. I don’t want to potentially date an alcoholic. I prefer meeting men through common interests. It’s not as quick like online dating or going to a bar but you’re already doing something you enjoy and you may run into a cute HVM. If you do, getting to know him would be a slower process that wouldn’t be rife for love bombing. (Not guaranteeing that it won’t be but you see how awkward it is as a timeline if the two of you were to rush under those circumstances) I find OLD creates this transactional atmosphere where everything needs to be fast fast fast which is not healthy for a relationship.

UsedtabeaRocket · 2022-02-26T19:25:08+00:00

I wouldn’t want to meet a potential bf in a bar because I don’t normally hang out in bars and don’t want to date someone that does. Not to mention I don’t drink alcohol anymore.

No-Spinach-9268 · 2022-02-27T09:10:09+00:00

Men don't go to a pub or bar for commitment. They go to get fucked up and get fucked. Good luck finding anything more than LVM there

2022-02-26T22:50:15+00:00

I've literally never been to a bar or club or pub really besides twice in my life and I was 16 both times going to a bar where my friend's band was playing and a hookah lounge.. I would recommend you get into something like ice skating instead. Yes, it's difficult but figure skating will make you feel like a goddess and there are so many really friendly guys at the rink practicing skating or playing hockey. I've made so many wonderful friends at the rink and it's so much fun and hockey guys are hot as f***. Instead of spending $15 on an overpriced beer, just go to an ice rink and save your liver as well as improve your dating prospects.

tofunugget66 · 2022-02-27T06:56:52+00:00

Frank Turner has a song that says “the problem with falling in love in late night bars is that there’s always more nights, there’s always more bars” and when I heard that for the first time…. I felt that too deeply. My experience dating in NYC (granted, that was in 2015-2017) was just as bad if not worse than OLD but that was just my experience and probably had largely to do with the types of bars I used to go to (I’m an elder emo and prefer dive bars that play punk rock/indie for when I’m just trying to have a drink and those bars usually attract LVM).

Title	Meeting men at bars or pubs
Author	fireforestfairy
Upvotes	77
Comments	21
Date	February 26, 2022 4:22 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/t20ssz/meeting_men_at_bars_or_pubs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/meeting-men-at-bars-or-pubs.1102801 https://theredarchive.com/post/1102801

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