Men who try and escalate things too quickly

relampagos_shawty · 2022-01-29T15:50:16+00:00

A guy tried this with my recently. He was texting me all the time right after we met and wanted to see me again right away, at a place by his house. He said he doesn’t like restaurants, probably because he wanted to “impress” me by cooking for me at his place. He just wanted some 😸 lol

freeloadingcat · 2022-01-29T16:03:47+00:00

On the flip side, you get men who texts 4 times a week. Makes you wonder why you're even talking to them

tootzone · 2022-01-29T16:55:21+00:00

IMO, there is a middle ground between taking so long to "get serious" that you're making a woman into a forever girlfriend, and being creepily quick in escalating things. Neither are good. The opposite of a bad thing does not yield a good thing.

I don't think that men who try to escalate things too quickly are always interested primarily in sex (although they often are!). From my experience, they often do it because they feel like they need to lock you down before you find something better. The insecure, controlling types who know they aren't good enough, but want you to feel like you can't leave - the sooner they can convince you to get married, have children, or otherwise feel like you can't leave, the better.

queenoshi · 2022-01-29T16:55:27+00:00

Yes!! So many of us have been screwed over by men who only want a forever gf/refuse to commit that these kinds of guys seem really attractive at first. After 6 years of "I'm not ready to get married," who wouldn't want "I want to get married even though we just started dating?". These scrotes know exactly the game they're playing; they're going to lovebomb and get you under their control so that they can abuse you after marriage.

Don't date a man who doesn't want commitment, but don't date a man who is absolutely rushing into commitment. Even if he's sure of you, if he respected you he would let things go at a comfortable pace so that you get to know him.

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2022-01-29T22:19:38+00:00

Also watch out for men who try to bypass the courtship phase and skip straight to behaving very casually, as if in a LTR. They are just doing it to be cheap, and fake you into believing the relationship has a stable future.

A few times early on, one of my shitty ex-bfs remarked that it was just like we were a couple that had been married for years. It made me uncomfortable at the time, I should have trusted my gut.

throwawaybcwierdos · 2022-01-29T21:36:06+00:00

Also, men saying physical touch is a love language 🚨🚩

Uruzdottir · 2022-01-29T21:19:25+00:00

A lot of them are also narcissists. They come on STRONG in the beginning when they are love-bombing.

sleutherino · 2022-01-29T16:33:48+00:00

Men who unload all of their emotional struggles onto you early on too. They're either trying to fake "closeness" by sharing WAY too many details WAY too fast, or they're looking for free therapy, or both.

They'll unload their life story at week 3, if they wait that long, and then at week 4 will tell you how "he feels like he can tell you anything" and wants to be "more than friends".

Consciously or not, they're trying to fake the intimacy of a longer term friendship/relationship. They don't want to actually have to wait that long, or put the work in for it, they want to get there fast, so that you'll consider having sex with them faster. You know, since ya'll are so close.

If a dude does this shit and I haven't known him very long, I gradually check out. They very likely have no interest in actually being a genuine friend, and even if they do, being their friend will be exhausting. I'm not interested in any of that.

fdshandbooksarmy · 2022-01-29T16:27:16+00:00

They will try to persuade you as love at the first sight. But yep they just hit and run.

Unfortunately culture grooms us. Any one remember how fast romeo wanted to get with juliet and the whole story is now as western classics?

Just like handbook says, wait for him for three months and if he does want to be exclusive, block and delete. And no sex till marriages until your finance are protected.

ExistentialJelly · 2022-01-30T21:22:35+00:00

One dude literally asked me how much I would be approved for on a mortgage on the first date. Then he texted me like crazy with life building plans.

Turn out he broke up with a long term girlfriend of 5 years just 2 weeks before our first date... and apparently just didn't want to have a hiccup in his plans and any girl would do to fill that role.

Like what? I haven't even held your hand and you want me to co-sign a mortgage?

edwardianemerald · 2022-01-30T18:40:38+00:00

Classic lovebombing tactic, and FDS contains some great posts about lovebombing (just search in the search bar)

Title	Men who try and escalate things too quickly
Author	electroloop
Upvotes	479
Comments	27
Date	January 29, 2022 3:42 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/sfko71/men_who_try_and_escalate_things_too_quickly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/men-who-try-and-escalate-things-too-quickly.1099080 https://theredarchive.com/post/1099080

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