Online: Keeping a Relationship Private vs. a Secret?

painmakesyoustronger · 2020-07-23T23:41:15+00:00

My new rule, since I plan on being celibate in this vast ocean of LVM anyway, is if I’m not on your social media, you’re not getting into my pants.

I’ve been a secret more times than I can count, and it’s simply not happening again.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-07-23T23:34:30+00:00

If he has social media you should be on it. Otherwise he's keeping you secret so he can play the field.

Summerisle7 · 2020-07-24T00:18:42+00:00

I don't care about social media and agree with those here who say that a grown man shouldn't be too much into SM. I would say that goes for women as well, actually. But if he does have social media, his girlfriend should be on it. If he's active on it at all other than for business reasons or maybe a very narrow special interest or something, it's a red flag if you're not on it.

For the larger question of this post, I'd say it's a huge red flag if he keeps you secret or "private" or whatever he wants to call it. There is zero reason why his friends and family need to be kept unaware that he has a gf and her name and what she's like. At a certain point you should be meeting them, he should be introducing you with pride.

talldrankofH2O · 2020-07-24T01:11:44+00:00

I like my privacy and I have a crazy invasive family, so I like to keep them off of social media until it’s serious. I have pretty much decided I have to have a rock on my finger to post them much. To me, I’d post them on Snapchat before then, because it’s not permanent and I don’t have so many people added there.

I will say I’ve learned it’s a massive red flag if they guy likes social media, but freaks out at the thought of following each other. I had been seeing a guy for a month and he freaked out at the thought. So of course, I dig some digging. Turns out he had a kid and it looked like either a current girlfriend or a very recent breakup. To me, they are hiding something if they won’t let you follow them on Instagram after a while.

I feel like it’s more of a personal choice, but do add each other to check if they’re hiding anything!

Alma00019 · 2020-07-24T00:01:33+00:00

Personally if a guy is constantly posting on social media and is above the age of like 22, that's a huge red flag. the only exception is if it is legitimately for his business. I.E. Either he is a (legit) blue checkmark and a public figure in his field and has to, or is doing it through a business account.

For the guy who post regularly one business accounts, it is still a red flag if he posts a lot on his personal account. I'm sorry but a grown man regularly posting on social media is like a fog horn screaming insecurity and narcissism.

cmore_money · 2020-07-24T00:02:33+00:00

He posts me all the time and always has me on his profile photo. I, on the other hand, never post him and he’s complained a bit before.

I do feel sort of awful about this because I know it means something to him (to be posted about,) but I just don’t feel like getting married right now.

And I think when/if I post someone online, I’d like to be married or at least engaged with a date set first. 🤷🏽‍♀️

heythere360 · 2020-07-23T23:53:29+00:00

For some reason, they always post pics of me and make me their profile pics, meanwhile it takes me a year to put them on my 24 h private story loll.

Idk how to engineer this tho. I like my privacy so I don’t post relationship pics until after a year. But as long as we are exclusive I don’t mind if they post me.

I’m in an LDR rn and am my bfs profile pic on everything. He did it himself even though you gotta look to find him on my social media. I like it this way tho. It’s good for accountability. Not bullet proof by any means, but better than being hidden.

Flufferly · 2020-07-24T06:01:18+00:00

Depends. If you're dating a guy who pretty much never posts anything personal, it's fine as long as his profile doesn't say "single". I never post pictures either, and frankly I'm uncomfortable having a bunch of private pics online. Pictures with everyone but you, though? Nah.

You should never feel like a secret. He should want you to meet his friends and family, he should want to show you off. He should be making an effort to show that you are a part of his life that he's proud of.

typeadhd · 2020-07-24T14:43:14+00:00

I’ve decided if you put your ex all over social media (old photos but still), you don’t want to delete them, you still follow her and entire family tree on all social media and don’t want to unfollow them, and you’re always on social media but tell me you want to kEeP tHiNgS pRiVaTe then you and I must be working in a circus because I would be a clown to fall for that which clearly I was a clown cause this was me before

Never again

2020-07-24T14:14:21+00:00

I may be old fashioned saying this, but after everything I’ve been through, relationships don’t belong on social media, good or bad. It’s toxic, disastrous and ruins lives, innocent ones along with the guilty.

throwawayitst · 2020-07-24T05:04:16+00:00

Dont post pls op- trust

m00nflam3 · 2020-07-24T11:31:13+00:00

"I don't want to be branded"

" i dont want to shout it from the rooftops" But here meet my son and my family.

"Fb is to public. I don't need them knowing everything about me"( as he posts his political views, family photos, birthday, place of work)

Yeah okay, bye bye. Have fun liking your 20 yr old neighbors photos and not even checking things i tag u in .

Capable_Okra · 2020-07-24T13:43:58+00:00

To me it depends how he uses social media. If he posts about every other thing in his life EXCEPT me, then I'm suspicious. But if he hasn't posted on Facebook in a year, then I don't have the same expectations. If he is keeping you a secret from friends and family, then you are a secret. I don't post on Facebook or Instagram, but I still send my family/friends pics and mention my SO in conversations/texts. I dated a guy once for 2 years who refused to tell his friends and family about me because he was a "private person." And yet he was super close with his family.. So no, that's not privacy.

Comments