Probably figured out he wasn't going to marry her...ever

BDizzy18 · 2020-01-05T21:25:36+00:00

I think your heading nailed it. This guy is nearly 30, has been with her for five years, and hadn't proposed because why would he? They already live together and he gets all the benefits. She's 27 now, wants commitment, and knew it was down to the wire with this one because if he wasn't going to commit she needed to start looking for a better partner now rather than later. It sounds like the pregnancy (whether real or not) was a last-ditch attempt to get him to propose and, when he didn't, she cut her losses. Good for her.

The fact that after five years he wasn't immediately happy about the prospect of a child with her and "discussed what she wanted to do" as if he wasn't, you know, the father probably told her what she really needed to know. The sad thing is that her picking up and running like that sounds as if she really did love him and couldn't bear to do it in person, but knew that he would screw her over eventually if she didn't leave.

entrylevelheaux · 2020-01-05T23:10:20+00:00

men say "our baby" a lot for people who don't even want to contribute to raising it

GCchick · 2020-01-05T22:09:53+00:00

I'm not sure she left him because he didn't propose. She's 27, let's stop pretending women in their 20's are all dying to get married as soon as possible. Any guy proposing to me before the age of 28 would have gotten a slap in the face for trying to tie me down and waste my youth like this.

I think she got pregnant and started playing how her life with this guy was going to go in her head and realised it wasn't what she wanted. This probably made her realise a lot of things and she simply decided she didn't want to be with him anymore. She just didn't want to have a kid with this guy. That's life.

extraacct1234 · 2020-01-06T01:53:02+00:00

"woe is me!" You know he left a lot out of this little retelling that makes him look like the sad hurt nice boyfriend. I'm sure he's raped her or hit her and the realization that she might be willing to bring children into that woke her the fuck up.

Hope she's doing well.

Maisiebr · 2020-01-05T21:08:11+00:00

At least he doesn't blame her and realises that he didn't focus on her enough if he didn't know what was wrong. It could be for the nice guy image though.

grimreapersdtr · 2020-01-07T07:46:22+00:00

I notice he didn't mention once that he wanted to marry her, but that he "always wanted to be a dad".
My ex's first words when I told him I was pregnant were, "I always wanted a baby more than a wife!" I should've driven my ass to the clinic right then and there, but I was STUPID. I'm glad this woman made a better decision.

I had the unplanned child at 26 and my life is completely destroyed as a result. There's nothing quite like childbirth to put a dead stop to your financial future and educational opportunities. For other reasons, I'm glad I never married-- but I often wished I didn't fall for his fake facade of happiness when he found out I was pregnant. Now I'll be stuck in a "relationship" of sorts with him for another six years.

(Love for my kid is independent of this, although I can say for certain that being impoverished and knowing that my sub-par economic status is directly harming my child is heartbreaking and guilt-inducing beyond words.) .

youcantucan · 2020-01-06T12:48:31+00:00

Sounds like it wasn’t his baby

quasarbar · 2020-01-06T14:28:09+00:00

Yeah, that's what it sounds like.

Title	Probably figured out he wasn't going to marry her...ever
Author	whycantweallgetal0ng
Upvotes	71
Comments	24
Date	January 5, 2020 9:04 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ekj3ag/probably_figured_out_he_wasnt_going_to_marry/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/probably-figured-out-he-wasnt-going-to-marry.685505 https://theredarchive.com/post/685505

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