Stop telling men to beat it up

Thucydideez- · 2020-08-18T18:30:31+00:00

It's definitely pornish and violent. It also reminds me of something I've noticed in recent years among porn consumers, especially people who watch hentai-- guys talking about hitting the cervix, or entering the cervix (that felt gross to write). Talk about zero regard for a woman's pleasure, that shit would hurt if it could actually happen.

unclutchedbollucks · 2020-08-18T19:16:23+00:00

When I read this I thought we had fallen back into the mid 2000s, when the awful phrase “beat up the guts” was being thrown around 🤮

FewButterscotch6 · 2020-08-18T21:24:56+00:00

This reminds me of a trend that I've noticed in all media lately. Whenever a sex scene involves a black actress, it's almost always portrayed as rough sex. A particularly egregious example of what I mean is the Amazon show The Man in the High Castle; in the first three seasons, all of the intimate scenes were done surprisingly well and were a breath of fresh air. There was no gratuitous nudity, no unnecessary roughness, and the sex was tastefully implied instead of graphically depicted. That all changed rather abruptly in the fourth season when the show introduced black characters in a new plot line. In the very first episode that introduced the first black female character, the show went in a completely different direction with intimate scenes.

The only way to describe it is she basically got her brains fucked out in a very graphic scene; the no nudity rule was apparently thrown out, her head was being banged into the headboard, and it was basically just soft-core porn. This is pretty typical in "high-brow" prestige television, but what made it so jarring was the juxtaposition with how this particular show had handled intimate scenes up until that point. At first I thought it was just the show going in a new direction with the final season, but no. Later in the season there was one last intimate scene with the white main characters and it was right back to business as usual; tasteful, implied sex with no nudity or roughness. So, it wasn't just a style choice for the show; the roughness and gratuity of the sex scenes was wholly dependent on whether the female character involved in it was white or black.

Now that I'm thinking about, for a show that was ostensibly anti-Nazi, they sure had a surprising amount of racist ideas and racism apologia.

GlitteringAdvice2020 · 2020-08-18T20:03:59+00:00

Overly rough sex hurts a lot of women including myself. Sometimes slow and easy wins the race.

AbundantOverflow · 2020-08-18T18:41:53+00:00

I feel what you’re saying, and I’m not a fan of most of the vulgar rap these basic rappers are shoveling.

But I’m gonna keep it real: sometimes I want to make love, sometimes I want to have sex, and sometimes I want to fuck. I like the poo nanny being beat up from time to time. The key thing is consent and intent. The men I’ve had sex with have been mindful of what is pleasurable for me so I have sometimes requested harder sex and they obliged. I don’t have sex with men who mindlessly do anything. They prioritize my pleasure so the intensity of sex pleases me whether it’s soft or hard.

devoushka · 2020-08-18T18:26:10+00:00

To each her own. If the penetration is at the right angle and the man has a nice dick I've had explosive orgasms from getting pounded like that.

LemonEnhancingPolish · 2020-08-19T01:35:56+00:00

I've had two experiences where the man was being extremely rough with me during sex and the first one injured me.

Dude I got intimate with decided to bust out a dildo and when he used it on me he jammed it in REALLY hard, I clamped up in pain. Over the rest of the weekend I was vomiting and in severe abdominal pain. Went to work after the weekend and still had really bad abdominal pain I had to leave work early. I nearly collapsed at work. Quickly cut off contact with that dude, never again. I think he had hit and bruised my cervix really bad. I was a pickme so I should've realized his immaturity when I saw his bedding was that of a rugrats character.

Second dude I had was very promising. Until he started fingering me rough and slapping my vulva. Like WTF are you doing dude. Then he started directing towards anal and I hadn't prepared for that lol... Not a single blip of communication was had. I was bad. Cut him out.

Honestly I used to think I just had bad luck but through these experiences I have learned a LOT about what I don't want. Learning.

_Atalanta_ · 2020-08-18T21:20:27+00:00

For me, popular music (inc. hip hop) is entertainment, not art. It is much more visible (and repeated) than art, and becomes ingrained in our culture and our thinking to the point of subconscious assimilation, the idea of shock value and challenge provided by art does not really apply anymore.

This is just my take.. 🤔

Although I appreciate some of the music I do worry about the impact it is having In normalising things that are bad for women..

Title	Stop telling men to beat it up
Author	holodeckdeathtrap
Upvotes	74
Comments	18
Date	August 18, 2020 5:43 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ic5rgt/stop_telling_men_to_beat_it_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/stop-telling-men-to-beat-it-up.169993 https://theredarchive.com/post/169993

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