~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
CuriousCatNYC777
[–]officernice89FDS Newbie58 points59 points60 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
all of those describe my narcissist ex
[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist19 points20 points21 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Especially the bringing up mental health when they've done wrong. Assaulted you?, it's memory loss. Ignored you on your birthday?, childhood trauma from not being celebrated as a child. Never ask questions about you?, depression!
These are all excuses I've personally heard.
[–]fdsstudentFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Also, look out for these red flags within yourself. When I was with a lvm, his manipulation was causing me to ask him to cut people (“female friends”) off, dress differently (dressing up and buying all new clothes for nights out with the “friends”), and giving him minimal privacy because I had a gut feeling something was going on.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes! This is a good point. When you start acting a bit cray yourself, it’s often because there’s some gut instinct your trying to ignore, and also they may be pulling your strings in subtle ways to make you feel insecure - being hot and cold in subtle ways, triangulating you with other women, etc.
[–]laeriel_cFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah when someone makes me feel crazy, I know now that it's a huge red flag. People who do things that make you feel justifiably jealous and then gaslight you are the worst partners.
[–]aclumsygirlAt-Risk Pick Me Youth64 points65 points66 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Inability to apologize. Huge red flag. My ex literally could not say the words "I'm sorry." He would sometimes ACT sorry by trying to fix whatever he did, but he just couldn't apologize. Going forward I'm fully prepared to launch any and every man interested in me who can't say a sincere "I'm sorry" when he's clearly and objectively fucked up.
[–][deleted] 51 points52 points53 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Watch out for the "I'm sorry you felt that way"/"I'm sorry you took it that way" types too, there are a lot of those and they're infuriating.
[–]pinkyberriesFDS Disciple16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
IKR! they put the blame on you and make you feel guilty. Those type def need therapy.
They want to believe they're never in fault and that you're trippin.
[–][deleted] 26 points27 points28 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I will say that when I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist, I started saying "I'm sorry you feel that way" in a deadpan voice when he would start in on me as an attempt to grey rock him. I didn't want to keep genuinely apologizing for things I hadn't done or when I hadn't I done something wrong.
[–]gursky0FDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My ex would sometimes admit when he was wrong and shouldn’t have said or done something, but he still could NOT utter the s-word. So frustrating.
[–]pinkyberriesFDS Disciple13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
GURL i just sent it to my best friends and we played it like a bingo in our groupchat! each had to mark the flags her ex gave her LMAO!
[–]Careful-EconomyFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also see: - making jokes at your expense - making you feel guilty about money, your success, etc etc - keeping relationships with other women regardless of your gut instinct (your gut is always right) - blaming alcohol or substance abuse for behavior
[–]InayahDaneenFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I used to overlook all of these red flags but not anymore 😎
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Both.
Lol no, emotional games of course, but I'd stay away from a man who spends hours and hours playing video games daily too.
[–]AntiCirclesFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Great illustration
[–]Shearay752FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I thought red flags were gestures that signify danger ahead. Some of these are just straight up dangerous from the get go.
[–]ifragbunniezFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You’re thinking of white flags babe.
[–]Shearay752FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thought white flags was a sign of surrendering
[–]asowwFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
How would you describe "playing games"? For example, if a guy does things indicating he wants me to pursue him, would you say it's "playing games"?
I actually didn't fall for it so I find the situation kinda hilarious because I did the equivalent of leaving him on read but irl lol which is even better (new found self control)
[–]psychsenseFDS Apprentice9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I think this refers to things like:
-Changing the place of the date last minute
-Mentioning exes/other woman in order to get a rise out of you purposely/make you jealous
-Backhanded compliments
I guess playing games refers to basic manipulation tactics because he does it for his own benefit and fun.
I would say the guy in your scenario was trying to get you to chase him because he’s lazy and wants an ego boost. Idk if that’s manipulative but it’s stupid and narcissistic.
[–]asowwFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Thank you for answering, I am learning so much. I agree with you about the guy in my scenario, I don't really think it was manipulative but definitely ego driven at the very least. taking notes
[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's also saying he'll do something but later on, with a "convenient" reason cannot.
[–]asowwFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow, I can't believe you can guess this from the brief description I gave you... ! Thanks !
[–]psychsenseFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re welcome! And I’m glad you’re learning a lot! ❤️❤️❤️
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]officernice89FDS Newbie58 points59 points60 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fdsstudentFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]laeriel_cFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]aclumsygirlAt-Risk Pick Me Youth64 points65 points66 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 51 points52 points53 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]pinkyberriesFDS Disciple16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 26 points27 points28 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]gursky0FDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pinkyberriesFDS Disciple13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Careful-EconomyFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]InayahDaneenFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AntiCirclesFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Shearay752FDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ifragbunniezFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Shearay752FDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]asowwFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]psychsenseFDS Apprentice9 points10 points11 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]asowwFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]2340000Ruthless Strategist4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]asowwFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]psychsenseFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link