Recently my ex tried to come back into my Iife, and I declined and blocked him. When I blocked him from my phone, he sent me an email asking how I’m doing. I didn’t respond. A few weeks later he calls me from an out of state number trying to catch up. I pick up not knowing it was him. I allowed him to keep me on the line saying how he changed and was trying to improve his life. Great! I wished him the best of luck and moved on. I forgot to also block his new number. He texts me last weekend asking if we could get back together and that he missed me. I told him I’m not interested in a relationship. I then blocked and deleted his new phone number.

Girls you don’t know how strong that made me feel. I have been deeply entrenched in pick me behavior my whole life. I never said no to things I didn’t want. It felt so empowering.

They will try to contact you through other means if you block them on another. It takes work to get rid of them. He emailed me when I wasn’t picking up and his messages weren’t getting through. He calls from a new out of state number. Others might message you or call you from Snapchat, Whatsapp, Facebook messenger, etc. They will send letters. If they know your family they will call them. They will have mutual friends reach out to you. They will try everything and anything. Don’t give in. Keep blocking and deleting.

That’s why it is important to be ruthless. The best thing I learned from FDS was to stop being nice. I slipped up by talking to him and responding to his messages even after I blocked and deleted his old number. I had to understand that he was using all these different tactics and when it was getting hard to avoid him I defaulted to pick me behaviour instead of being ruthless. Never again!

Remember that we’re working against years of indoctrination and conditioning to be nice to men, smile at them, let them take our time and give them our attention. I forgive myself for not being ruthless enough but I also acknowledged that I’ve been tested in a new way and I have to practice my ruthlessness muscles. It isn’t easy being ruthless but practice, reminders and working on yourself will help you improve. I am now taking the initiative to read from the FDS handbook daily as a reminder that I can slip up and will slip up if I don’t become ruthless.