This is so important for every upcoming generation of women!

KaleidoscopeEyes12 · 2021-07-09T17:41:25+00:00

The scariest part about this is that many women feel like they HAVE to be nice in order to stay safe, that the slightest bit of wrong tone could cause a “nice” man to erupt into violence. It’s terrifying and disgusting.

WorldlinessAwkward69 · 2021-07-10T01:41:19+00:00

Long ago, when I was first in college and it was the pre internet and pre mobile phone era, I learned the lesson of prioritizing being safe over being nice (and naïve).

I had a group of friends that would get together and game. We had been doing this for about a year and a half consistently every week. At the end of one night, one of the guys who occasionally gave me a ride to the gaming session goes, "I made a mix tape for you. I left it at home, let's stop by and pick it up along the way." I didn't think much of this, it was really late, about 1 am, I was tired, and people gave me mix tapes all the time back then, as I ran my own radio show for the college campus.

It was freezing cold out. He drove me to his place and asked me to come in and warm up while he got the mix tape. Then he decided to play it instead. I suddenly realized: I had no idea where I was and neither did anyone else, I had no coat since I had gotten a ride in the morning when it wasn't cold, I had no money as I didn't carry cash or a wallet back then, just 5 dollars for the pizza we all shared. There were no mobile phones.

The guy tried to force himself on me. I pushed him away and decided to bolt out the door. I'd rather freeze to death than get raped. I was hoping I'd recognize some land marks, or find a payphone, or a 24 hour convenience store and call the college bus that would come and pick you up if you were in a bad situation. I got lucky and ran into a friend who was out for a late night snack run, and he gave me a ride back to the dorms.

Winnie6 · 2021-07-09T20:26:28+00:00

Exactly...why do we even need a safe word with a bartender if we don't like our date and are creeped out? I'd enjoy telling the mother fucker to get lost. Oh, and don't say I should be afraid of him, he should be afraid of me. Btw, men with designs on you don't like dealing with women who aren't pushovers...that's like one of the golden rules of a PUA (pick-up artist). They even try to pick up women by insulting them to see what they'll say / do. If you are obsequious and politely argue, you're their woman. What you should say is "fuck off, asshole!"

blueshinee · 2021-07-10T02:11:46+00:00

Actually sometimes the reason i'm being nice to a weird stranger is not to anger them or make them want to hurt me, so in a way it's my subconscious way to look out for my safety. Due to it being ingrained in my mentality I end up being nice when I shouldn't even when such mechanisms aren't neccessary for my survival. Sadly, I feel like i'm not the only woman who feel the need to be nice to weird men in order not to get potentially in trouble.

Raffaja · 2021-07-10T00:17:19+00:00

100%! If he gives you creep vibes then DO NOT associate with him!! A lot of the time our guts tend to be right whether we realise it or not. Always trusylt your gut.

Whateverbabe2 · 2021-07-10T00:22:49+00:00

Not just safe. Comfortable and happy.

I might feel safe with a scrote but I shouldn't be wasting my time with a man unless it's fulfilling.

3IDontknow · 2021-07-09T18:25:27+00:00

I spend a lot of time discussing "warning flags" with my nieces and friends daughters. Those warning flags grow to be red flags and then onto dangerous situations. There is absolutely nothing lost by stepping away from a warning flag.

Professional-Pea-317 · 2021-07-09T21:33:49+00:00

This will never get old.

toddybody · 2021-07-09T18:03:35+00:00

Perhaps the most succinct and important advice for young women. Well said.

Introambi1 · 2021-07-10T15:44:07+00:00

I love FDS. That’s all, happy Saturday ladies 🥂

Winnie6 · 2021-07-10T01:35:09+00:00

That is true...Margaret Atwood's words

DoesItComeWithFries · 2021-07-10T03:27:33+00:00

This should be one of those repeat after me’s..

Dizzy_Public · 2021-07-10T04:03:01+00:00

👏

fireforestfairy · 2021-07-10T11:59:50+00:00

This should be taught to girls at a young age. Sadly there are a lot of pedophiles out there pretending to be "friends" with young kids. Your life is more important than anyone else' feelings.

Introambi1 · 2021-07-10T15:44:22+00:00

I love FDS. That’s all, happy Saturday ladies 🥂

Introambi1 · 2021-07-10T15:44:29+00:00

I love FDS. That’s all, happy Saturday ladies 🥂

restlessGal · 2021-07-10T00:00:30+00:00

I read this as “tech girls” and I was really confused

Royal-Progress · 2021-07-09T23:06:32+00:00

👏

katiekat0214 · 2021-07-12T15:31:48+00:00

I think we've all had situations that have gone both ways. Any time I've been able to stand up, speak out, yell, scream, and one time even box a guy's ear who was touching me non-consensually after I said no, I've felt madly empowered. I never recommend violence, obviously, but the moment someone touches you, in my mind, all bets are off, Marquis of Queensbury rules are on. The most important thing is to get away, as unscathed as possible, and if you can teach them a lesson they'll never forget, bonus points.

Personally, my philosophy has always been, I don't care enough to start anything with anyone, but if someone starts it with me, I finish it. Give no shit, but also take no shit. If I'm around any random male who starts talking at me, and I'm uncomfortable or it goes on too long, I keep my answers curt and abrupt, put on even more RBF, and do minimal eye contact. Phone immediately comes out; I'm absolutely phubbing, and it's always far more interesting than any rando. It is absolutely a barrier, and I can and will start recording if need be.

That said... I must admit, even though I have limited mobility (can't run due to invisible knee handicaps), there's something in me where if push comes to shove, I'm GOING to shove back, and hard. I'm GOING to go off on a scrote who tries to start anything with me. My dignity is worth shredding his. I'm fully aware that this opens me up to a threat of violence, but when I show power, control, dominance, and flip the script, they back down. And that rocks. There are some calculated risks worth taking, but again, gut check always.

Title	This is so important for every upcoming generation of women!
Author	BlueJeanMistress
Upvotes	1719
Comments	26
Date	July 9, 2021 5:31 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/oh0g0q/this_is_so_important_for_every_upcoming/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/this-is-so-important-for-every-upcoming-generation.789501 https://theredarchive.com/post/789501

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