We have to do better

lucidlotus · 2021-10-23T23:57:33+00:00

Yes. Gail Dines also has an organization called Culture Reframed with info and programs about how to talk to kids about porn. The more parents we can inform about it the better.

KindredMaximus · 2021-10-24T03:32:59+00:00

As a parent - the way I got around it was going into the schools program that was set up for families who were financially struggling but anybody could access it.

You got a laptop for your kid - but the IT at the school looked after it, put controls on it and monitored them. The kids could take them home, go on facebook, play games etc. but if they went anywhere even a bit dodgy they were either blocked or a message was sent that they had been looking at --whatever -- and they were in trouble. It also meant if the computer was damaged - they got a replacement. For $400 a year for each kid - not having to worry about this and having a third party ''big brother'' looking over my kids shoulder was a huge burden off my shoulders. None of my kids bought their own laptops until they were finished high school and by then, we'd had plenty of discussions around porn, sex, respect etc.

And their phones were basic - they never got any data - only for messaging. Block type nokias, lol...

eleaena · 2021-10-24T00:46:38+00:00

Absolutely agree. I wish I wasn’t exposed to it when I was younger. It made me feel like I had to act a certain way because that was “normal” instead of just naturally figuring it out with a loving partner. I wish things were different and I hope things change for the better soon

LizardInFirst · 2021-10-24T00:17:56+00:00

I second this. Pornography is a cancer on society. It cost my parents their marriage and it cost me the best relationship I ever had. Protect your children!

ClaireFaerie · 2021-10-24T00:03:31+00:00

I agree with using parental controls but no matter what you do, kids will be exposed to porn no matter how hard you try. Its important to talk to them about sex and what is real. Understanding and educating works better than restriction with no explanation

Vivierex · 2021-10-24T09:26:18+00:00

And even more important, TALK with your kids. I know some topics are difficult and embarrassing to talk with a young person but it really is very important they learn FACTS and TRUTH before they come across porn and all fake media.

It's not about protecting your child from bad stuff it's to teach them to know what is bad.

sewingmachinesavior · 2021-10-24T02:08:27+00:00

Public area only computer use. No phones until 13-16 depending on how involved in extra curricular activities they are. No kid internet access past 9pm. Im strict, and don’t care.

ExistentialJelly · 2021-10-24T21:24:22+00:00

This also needs to be part of the conversation you have with potential spouses.

My husband and I have agreed no social media accounts or phones for our kids. If we do get them a phone, it's going to be something like a flip phone for calling and texting in emergencies. Kids don't need I Instagram or tiktok...

I was a child who grew up when home computers were still just staring out to be common and I was exposed to way too much and it was dangerous. I'm lucky I didn't become a statistic.

Altowhovian93 · 2021-10-25T18:00:36+00:00

CPS worker here. Absolutely Monitor you children’s screen time, no tv in their rooms, vet what tv shows and commercials they watch, no phones at night until they are in highs school, meet their friends parents, and vet them carefully before allowing sleepovers. They have friends at 8 years old that will show them porn videos and unfortunately some children do act out what they see on videos on other children or younger siblings. High schoolers even still need random phone and social media checks to make sure they are being safe, because creeps will brainwash and black mail them into not telling.

Also tell your kids why you have rules, and tell them more as they get older! It’s wrong to be seeing naked people outside of normal nudity at home while you are a child. Children or adults should not be showing kiddo naked pictures. Kiddo needs to tell mom if anyone does that and yes they are allowed to scream and hit at people who do that to get away. You as the parent have the obligation to keep your child safe and protect their childhood.

the_ghost_of_ · 2021-10-24T09:18:01+00:00

I tried to tell my daughter about how dangerous being choked was.

A month later, her boyfriend has his hand around her neck at Homecoming in a photo while she rolls her eyes back and sticks her tongue out. SOO CUTE..... NOT. I snapped at her about that. She literally didn't even take the photo down, just changed the caption: "No one was harmed in the making of this photo". Facepalm. I have failed as a parent. My daughter is too old at this point to change her mind (She's 16, so obviously, she's older than the earth and knows way more than me), so I just now have to let her go through the pain of getting abused in order to learn. I keep trying to tell her.... But I know she's internalized society's message that women have to be x,y,z, and men are a,b,c, and nothing I say will change that. I'm just the out-dating, old-school, weird mom.

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Title	We have to do better
Author	Warm_Ad6994
Upvotes	483
Comments	22
Date	October 23, 2021 11:14 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qefve7/we_have_to_do_better/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/we-have-to-do-better.1082188 https://theredarchive.com/post/1082188

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