What should I do?

radical__daphne · 2020-04-26T15:52:33+00:00

Oh my God he's a piece of shit. He's manipulating you. If you're confused by how somebody is treating you that's your sign that you're being manipulated. You shouldn't be going back and forth between feeling horrible and feeling good in any relationship.

mythicalnebula · 2020-04-26T16:15:08+00:00

He knows when he says something out of line. He just apologizes based on your reaction. He’s testing you.

rinabean · 2020-04-26T16:41:00+00:00

You can't choose to "secretly be interested in him (while playing it off as cool)" because you are already throwing yourself at him and he knows it and I'm surprised he's only taking half advantage like this instead of full. Like I'm surprised he's not using you for sex as well as making you cry (come on!!! You know that's bad!)

"I don’t know what my type is, but maybe in the future you’re my type. I don’t know what the future holds for us"

Stuff like that is just pure, absolute bullshit, 100% of the time. Men know who they want. If he won't say he wants you, assume he doesn't. That's the golden rule. I'm sorry it's not what you want him to say (but you'll be glad one day because he sounds horrible) but that's what he's saying without having the balls to say.

I'm sorry he's messed you around like this and I don't know that being friends with him is good for you either. He makes you cry!!! Is that really the behaviour of a friend?

cherrybombfield · 2020-04-26T16:45:21+00:00

Abusive men love to comfort you after they abuse you, it is part of the cycle of abuse.

This guy is a POS. Sorry but it is clear as day. He is future faking you to keep you around yet not committing to you. He keeps you invested in him while he is free to do whatever he wants that is called being on the shelf. He makes you cry. That is the end of it, him comforting you after he made you cry doesn't change the fact that he MADE YOU CRY. I would not even be friends with someone like this. He is a bad dude.

You deserve someone who will make you happy who will be attracted to you and tell you so and who wants to be with you NOW.

DallasOMalley · 2020-04-26T17:06:12+00:00

I sorry, but it sounds like this man is not romantically interested in you and never will be. However, I'd bet he's still getting something out of the current relationship (a fun time, emotional support, whatever), and he doesn't want to lose those perks. He's using you.

Please don't make the mistake of thinking he's some complex, tortured person who's thinking deep, serious thoughts as he sorts out his life, and that he'll eventually recognize your value and reward you for being supportive. There's nothing to be read into here. He's just not interested in you romantically.

If you're looking for a friend, you can do better. If you're looking for boyfriend, you can also do better. You deserve a man who recognizes your worth, and this guy isn't it.

lonelybones1 · 2020-04-26T17:42:30+00:00

If a man says "he doesn't know yet if he's into you" and "we'll see in the future", it's a MASSIVE red flag. 🚩🚩🚩

throw_away_2071 · 2020-04-26T17:27:16+00:00

Avoidant attachment. Drop the idea of him now.

idiosyncraticg1 · 2020-04-26T21:29:06+00:00

Please stop thinking about him and interacting with him. It seems like he just sees you as a friend. He doesn’t respect you and he doesn’t even seem to like you.

You guys aren’t even dating. Stop letting him make you cry. Cut contact NOW.

If you want someone to manipulate and degrade you, at least find someone who’s crazy about you and thinks that you’re his type.

vp2407 · 2020-04-26T19:27:47+00:00

I've been in your exact situation, and this will not end well. I cried over him and thought he was just going through a rough time, he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship because he was too focused on school. Hot and cold treatment constantly. One minute it's "I can't live without you, I don't want to lose you," and the next it's him not responding to my texts or calls for a week saying he was busy and gaslighting me for being too emotional and over thinking too much when i was upset about his half-ass treatment towards me. One minute he's taking me out to dinner, and the next he's gaslighting me again when I bring up how distant he's being.

When I say this isn't going to end well, I mean you are already so attached, and he will have no issue easily dropping you for someone else who peaks his interest more. He knows what he likes. He is keeping you around for convenience, and tries to comfort you to keep you loyal and constantly coming back to him. It's manipulation. The mental gymnastics I had to do to figure out whether he truly cared for me was exhausting because i was so inexperienced and had nobody to help steer me properly. In the end, he told me he no longer found me attractive but still wanted to be friends. Later that week I saw him crossing campus holding hands with another girl. You will crash and burn if you keep entertaining behavior like this. If he truly cares for you, he won't treat you like this. You wont have to guess at what he is truly feeling. It will be so easy when you find someone who truly wants you and will never make you doubt that.

FluffandRainclouds · 2020-04-26T21:19:51+00:00

He told you he doesn't like you, won't give you affection, and says mean things. Move. On.

(Saying this with love-- don't waste another minute on this man!)

BarbarianGlamGnome · 2020-04-27T16:47:29+00:00

Delete and block him without saying anything. He’s done. At the very least he could have said “I’m not interested in dating right now” or “I only see you as a friend”. He went out of his way to call you ugly and unworthy in his eyes. He went out of his way to hurt you to make you scramble to be something to his king godliness of fuckboi. He lost the opportunity to kind of know you let alone even be your friend. Block him and ghost him also for your sake so you do not internet stalk him and reach out. It’s over. Done. You never would have done that to him periodt.

--qtbunny-- · 2020-04-27T03:20:38+00:00

This “best friend” title he has. You’ve known him just since October - that’s such a shirt time for someone to be a best friend. Who decided you were best friends? How did it come up? Best friends that you’ve only known a short time tend to have a motive other than friendships.

FluffandRainclouds · 2020-04-26T18:04:29+00:00

[deleted]

Title	What should I do?
Author	--qtbunny--
Upvotes	0
Comments	26
Date	April 26, 2020 7:12 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/g8a28t/what_should_i_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-should-i-do.677542 https://theredarchive.com/post/677542

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