First of all—I am fairly new to (and so fucking better for having found this) sub; I’m on mobile so apologies if this mythical formatting I always hear of sucks; and I’m really sorry if my flair does not exactly match my post. I will fix it if so.

Anyway. Lately I have been making my way through this show on Netflix called ‘The Bold Type.’ [SPOILER ALERTS AHEAD!!!] I’ve actually really enjoyed its feminist and women-empowering themes so far, but . . . I just started an episode that I guess is attempting to tackle the ‘porn’ issue in relationships. From what I am getting so far (halfway through the episode) is that:

  • Porn is normal! Who cares if the bf used the gf’s laptop (to VIEW PORN) without permission and inadvertently downloaded malware to her WORK LAPTOP in the process.

  • Men have NEEEEEEEDS. He couldn’t have (penetrative) sex with her for TEN DAYS. She is BRCA positive and so is going through a procedure to freeze her eggs as a precautionary measure. He was initially portrayed as SO SENSITIVE and caring about her struggles but couldn’t make it under TEN DAYS without porn.

  • She is weird for questioning it! When she figured it out (due to the malware) and went to her friends about it and they discovered it was BONDAGE porn, she FELT SEXUALLY INADEQUATE because her friends were more experienced with FETISH sex. ‘I mean, I know you’re more experienced than I am . . .’

  • She was overreacting! When she confronted him about his jerking off (ON HER LAPTOP) while she showered, his excuses were that ‘I didn’t bring my laptop,’ ‘we can’t have sex right now,’ ‘I just had that uuuuurge!’

  • VANILLA IS BAD. In a continuation of their confrontation conversation, she voices her concern that she has no issue with him watching porn, but just wishes he would have included her (especially in his fetish, since they are in a relationship after all)—after which his response indicates to her that he does not consider her the type to watch his brand of porn . . . not that it’s a ‘baaad thing’—at least, not until it conflicts with his fetishes, and his release schedule!

  • VANILLA IS BAAAAD! I mean, in literally the same conversation as my previous point, she asks if he thinks she is ‘vanilla’ and he does that heavenward look for guidance because—well—he’s UNDOUBTEDLY in the right here—then looks back down and says ‘THAT’S NOT A BAAAD THING.’ When OBVIOUSLY he means, ‘that’s a bad thing for me sexually but I’m being NICE in not openly shaming you for it!’

So, my question is . . . what’s wrong with vanilla?

Seriously? What’s wrong with vanilla?

Let’s talk about vanilla as a taste. Many people dislike vanilla as an ice cream flavor, citing it to be too bland . . . when, in fact, it is exactly the opposite: https://slate.com/human-interest/2005/08/how-vanilla-became-shorthand-for-bland.amp

And I believe that the progression of the use of ‘vanilla’ to describe ‘bland sexuality’ is equally misinformed. ‘Vanilla’ flavor (i.e. natural, wholesome sex) quickly became boring to the general populace as its ‘availability’ increased because vanillin (porn) grew in popularity due to its cheap availability . . . the only answers to which would be to either educate yourself on vanilla and cull your vanillin intake IF you wished to truly enjoy vanilla’s natural flavor—or honestly admit that you like vanillin better, and stop trying to get the general populace to believe that vanillin is NATUURRAAL, and VIIIITAL to living to fulfill your NEEEEDS when all you have to do is not be a shitbag and have VANILLA at your fingertips.

Sorry for the rant. But I fucking love vanilla.