When they make assertions about you, then ask you to prove them wrong/ change their mind, don't bother.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-01-10T12:48:17+00:00

Been thinking about it this morning, how many guys I dated just did that. Projected their fear, hate, insecurity on me....

Why did I ever think it was normal?

I bet you're the jealous type!

You must have had so many boyfriends!

I bet you've never been with a "real"man (like me doh) before!

You're a crazy one!

I think you're cheating on me!

Your dad/mom/family must be rich.

You're a lying bi7ch! All women are liars!

You're not that intelligent/ attractive/ wealthy etc.

Just walk away, you don't have anything to prove to a man who already made up his mind about you.

Cherry on top: you're like all the others, all women are the same

Don't twist yourself into a pretzel trying to prove to him that you're not like the other girls.

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2021-01-10T13:26:13+00:00

Such a good point - it’s often a way for them to manipulate you into doing what they want.

oddcharm · 2021-01-10T14:08:03+00:00

Very true! I always say I know when I’m done with a relationship (friendships included) when I don’t care to get them to see my point of view

I told myself no more arguing in 2021. I don’t have time try to get people to be on my side. I saw a video recently where a woman said if someone called you a green shrub, you would immediately laugh and think they were the issue because the claim was absolutely ridiculous. Stop letting other people’s thoughts bother you, you know who you are! And especially don’t let their words keep on you in relationships where you are undervalued and disrespected!

Suspicious-Leg-1407 · 2021-01-10T14:22:42+00:00

Yes. My life changed for the better when I stopped arguing with people, especially online.

People are: a) absolutely entitled to their own opinion; b) don't need to share my beliefs for me to feel comfortable holding them; c) required to earn the benefit of my wisdom and expertise.

Splatzy19 · 2021-01-10T13:30:40+00:00

Yep. Projection for sure. Immediate block and delete. Wild accusations, passive aggressive bullshit comments, any of it.

staywiththecrown · 2021-01-10T18:31:14+00:00

Some guy I dated said I was "crazy" and "messed up in the head" because I didn't want to sleep with him in his car. Tired of the argument, I sarcastically agreed and said with a smile, "Wow, you're right. I AM crazy! I need to stop seeing you since I'm crazy and all." Then he got mad at me for not crying and not begging to stay with him lol

weekend111 · 2021-01-10T13:15:00+00:00

Nothing proves them wrong harder than your silence.

whenthingsconsidered · 2021-01-10T13:32:50+00:00

So true. Man who does this, romantic or not, is worthless. As the above said, they are just projecting their lv qualities onto us. Whatever we say to help them see from more an empathetic perspective doesn’t work because they didn’t care to listen in the first place. As all things go, when lv is detected, just ignore, fade away, and finally block and delete

2021-01-10T15:23:43+00:00

It's a tactic they use to bully you into doing what they want.

Honestly, if that's how they start it off, I wouldn't even look back after they apologize.

sandrockcustom · 2021-01-10T15:24:36+00:00

I needed this today, thank you.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-01-10T17:38:20+00:00

[deleted]

UnstrirringCoffee · 2021-01-10T19:39:45+00:00

Same applies at work. If a coworker or even boss tries to get you to "prove" something, don't fall for it. It's either a ploy to get you to take on more work or a distraction to not let you work on projects you really want to do.

If they say: "I'll let you work on x if you can prove y", that means you'll never get to do x. Someone else already has it or will get it soon. Better let go of it and if happens more than once, start looking for another job.

alienflowercatz · 2021-01-10T15:09:28+00:00

Oh brother.

Title	When they make assertions about you, then ask you to prove them wrong/ change their mind, don't bother.
Author	Equal-Ear2312
Upvotes	338
Comments	18
Date	January 10, 2021 9:16 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kubbiw/when_they_make_assertions_about_you_then_ask_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/when-they-make-assertions-about-you-then-ask-you.752938 https://theredarchive.com/post/752938

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