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[–]SpringJonesOceanFDS Newbie 110 points111 points112 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
God I love everything about this! I grew up being constantly shamed for being overweight. I still struggle with weight and body image issues.
I am in awe of younger women today who give no fucks and wear whatever they want. Two-piece bathing suit? Fuck yeah! There are a million options for that now and curvy girls rocking the hell out of them. I love to see it!
I love seeing so many younger women who put themselves first and push back on the lie that women must have a husband and children to be happy.
[–]skyfullofstars89FDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The boys at my school were RUTHLESS towards me because I was about 6 kgs/15 lbs overweight. They were utterly obsessed with tormenting me about how fat and ugly they thought I was. Even after I had left the school, they STILL talked about me and put up a poster in the common room talking about me. So weird.
It gave me such a complex and a lifetime of eating disorders. I am a healthy weight now and the difference between how men treat women depending on their weight is shocking.
[–]CynicalSucculentFDS Newbie 118 points119 points120 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
May be off topic, but this reminds me of my dad. My father is pretty weak willed and has been taken advantage of a lot in his career. He let's people push him around and use him. He shames me whenever I stand up for myself in any situation, whether I quit a job or I leave a shitty roommate situation. He tells me I need to learn to get along with people better. I know how to get along, but I'm the kind of person that doesn't tolerate disrespect from anyone. This has lead to me leaving jobs and relationships, and my father resents me for it.
[–]thinktwiceorelseFDS Newbie 43 points44 points45 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Wow, now I realized that people who said I was bad for standing up for myself were pushovers. (or narcissists)
[–]yolosunshine 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup
[–]oricuriFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They feel so personally attacked when you voice your principles and standards too, even if you weren’t directly talking to them. Pickmes will always write you off as a “man-hater”. Ok bye! You can have allll of the scrotes for yourself!
[–]PinkPetalCdistbeautyFDS Newbie 18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Beautifully succinct.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (13 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Flappy44FDS Newbie 86 points87 points88 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I’m 56 and don’t feel this way at all. Please don’t write older women off! Every older woman I know has a demanding career and is extremely strong. We grew up when sexism was barely noticed, let alone challenged. You have FDS and #metoo, all we had was our instincts and determination (which all of you have, too!). Bullying and discrimination were rampant when we grew up. Porn wasn’t nearly as ubiquitous so that was a plus. Some older women won’t understand you, but most of us will. Many of us are reading FDS and are out here vetting just like you are. It’s great to have the support we wish we’d had when we were your age!
[–]LearnedWomanThrowaway Account 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't worry about it. A lot of us know better than this.
For me personally it's almost absurd how many older women, seemingly at random, have offered me advice like "don't get married" or "don't let a man" do this or that coming from a place where they didn't know better / weren't permitted those options and now they're looking out for the rest of us. HVW aren't limited to <30.
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thank you for this. Ageist comments are not ok. I'm 52 and I don't have to justify myself to any young woman nor do I agree that things are soooo much better today than they were 30 years ago.
[–]rainbowforeskinFDS Newbie 62 points63 points64 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This post & comment hit the nail on the head! Of course things are better than they were during their time...isnt that what we’re supposed to be striving for? My biggest dream is that my daughters will have an easier time than me in life & that’s why im trying to shove pick meisha tendancies so I can be a better role model. Our goal should be to teach the next generation how to not make the same mistakes we did & it’s so disheartening when I see the boomers behaving this way. I used to be a pick me as well & I’ve done some stuff that makes me cringe but hey if you’re not cringing at the past you’re not growing amiright???
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]rainbowforeskinFDS Newbie 30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is wonderfully written and describes my mother very well LOL
Id just like to add I guess they’re in denial about how bad things are for them to a certain extent; i.e if all women have to go thru it it’s easier for them to accept their own lives?
[–]hope-wallaceFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
So much my ex MIL, especially with resenting my freedom. I not only rejected her golden son, but I live my life according to my expectations vs. "what will the neighbors think?". She can't punish me but she does take it out on my son.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]hope-wallaceFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yup, my ex MIL did MLM stuff for the last 30 years or so, and pranced around in suits and talked about her career. I doubt she made that much revenue per se but tax write-offs and the car probly offset that. And she is married to a LVM who "jokes" that he can handle a little leg pain because he knows how to handle pain because he has been married to her for so long. Charming -- good to know I will be missing out on that marital doom. I escaped that black hole and have maintained financial autonomy, have a degree with ongoing certifications, solid business career, retirement funds, etc. It boils down to anger and jealousy.
My son is a teenager, and visitation won't apply after he reaches a certain age. All they're really accomplishing is alienating him by taking out their frustrations on him. (But, no, they're not angry because that is not socially acceptable, so it's toxic positivity all the way with them). They tell my son they feel like failures if he isn't smiling all the time. Any teenager who walks around smiling 24/7 is drunk or high. Hmmm, wonder why my ex became an alcoholic/cheater? 🤔 So glad to be free of that entire mess.
[–]hope-wallaceFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That exact MLM!
[–]mscristalconnorsFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. I am the master of my world. I am in control.
[–]yolosunshine 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It ain’t different than 6th grade when you by necessity or choice can’t wear what the cool kids do.
They can’t even wear what the cool kids do because the second they wear the wrong thing they’re not cool anymore. 😂
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[–]SpringJonesOceanFDS Newbie 110 points111 points112 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]skyfullofstars89FDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CynicalSucculentFDS Newbie 118 points119 points120 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]thinktwiceorelseFDS Newbie 43 points44 points45 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]yolosunshine 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]oricuriFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PinkPetalCdistbeautyFDS Newbie 18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (13 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Flappy44FDS Newbie 86 points87 points88 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]LearnedWomanThrowaway Account 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Summerisle7FDS Disciple 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]rainbowforeskinFDS Newbie 62 points63 points64 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]rainbowforeskinFDS Newbie 30 points31 points32 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hope-wallaceFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (4 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]hope-wallaceFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]hope-wallaceFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mscristalconnorsFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]yolosunshine 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link