Wow, I've never thought about emotional connection like this, but it's so true, especially in relationships I've been in.

IDontExist4u · 2020-07-24T05:23:48+00:00

They complain you put them in the "friendzone", when in fact, they've put you in the "girlfriend zone." Its not your fault they want to fuck you, and not your responsibility. Unfortunately, you thought they were just treating you like, gasp A NORMAL HUMAN?! It's disgusting. I spent a decade or so of my life feeling like a total piece of shit bc i was convinced I kept putting good people in the "friend zone" and was somehow leading them on. FUCK THEM. You OWE NO ONE your body or love.

eatitupbb · 2020-07-24T05:32:38+00:00

i had one tell me he’s had a crush on me for several years. he’s reaching out a lot now, and that has ruined whatever friendship there was and ruined whatever slim chance there was for it to organically become something else.

like... you only talk to me now bc you want something? cool. just put in some kindness coins until sex falls out, i guess. and you’ve somehow had a crush on me for years, despite us going the past two years without one conversation? he doesn’t even know who i am today, despite having the ability to get to know me bc we were friends. that kinda stuff upsets me. he likes the idea of who i was a few years ago.

i straight up asked him if he was reaching out bc he was looking for something. i will absolutely die if he says he wants to get to know me.

eta: oh my god he replied and said he wants to get to know me 💀

Salt_Satisfaction · 2020-07-24T07:46:24+00:00

[deleted]

LateNightLattes01 · 2020-07-24T02:31:37+00:00

Had 3 brought it down to 2 because one confessed feels he “couldn’t ignore” and I told him I definitely didn’t want that but... it was always kinda there.. So awkward. Then another male friend just told me he wants to date me. AGAIN, absolutely no interest and it kind of ruins the friendship. We are still “friends” but... idk 😐 it’s a little weird sometimes. Feels like he’s more intense than I would like it to be idk. I generally don’t like having guy friends because of this. I literally JUST want a friend not someone secretly lusting after me.

talldrankofH2O · 2020-07-24T01:06:40+00:00

I have a couple, but almost every other time I’ve tried, they just end up wanting to sleep with me and they get so weirdly clingy. I wish male/female friendship were normalized and could be more in depth.

onthechainwaxx · 2020-07-24T03:05:49+00:00

I have like, one that I talk to regularly. And I’m fine with just the one. We dated briefly but were able to become friends no problem after a few months of some distance. I don’t think he’ll hit me with the ‘I have feelings for you still’ bs, but it is a concern and always is with male friends no matter how unlikely you think they are to pull that. Sucks.

sterne_arctique · 2020-07-24T14:15:58+00:00

Porn really worsened my interactions with men over the years. When I was younger most of my friends were dudes, I’ve always had more interests for typically male activities, and there was rarely a problem.

Today I really am treated as a walking vagina. I swear these guys’brains just melted down their shoes and vanished.

I’m bi, I’m also attracted to women, but I would NEVER even THINK of treating them as I’m treated on the regular? What’s porn industry’s plan, when they succeed, when all men desire is torture women and cum on their face, what’s their plan after that?

I just can’t wait to be 50 and invisible now, how sad is that?

endorphins_ · 2020-07-24T13:24:25+00:00

This is why I have no guy friends lol

thowawaywookie · 2020-07-24T19:41:02+00:00

I think women can be friends with men but not the other way around. We see others are people. Men see women as fuck or not fuck.

mouthyhousewife · 2020-07-24T01:04:44+00:00

I have exactly 4. One actually started out as a casual sexual relationship but we ended up being best friends. I think the transition was harder for me, honestly, but I don’t regret it at all.

cnemidophorus · 2020-07-24T13:16:33+00:00

Ugh this hits home too hard. I have ended a lot of friendships because men couldn’t graciously accept a no. I only have 2 guy friends mature enough the friendship survived following rejection. A lot of the others tried to keep pushing boundaries and I cut them out or they would completely abandon the friendship once I said no because the chance I might fuck them was the only reason they were likely hanging around and the friendship was a facade. The later of those two genuinely hurt a lot when I was younger. It truly is as if most men can’t imagine having a connection with a woman and not having it become sexual.

vntgRN90 · 2020-07-24T22:33:07+00:00

This is why i think my gay best friend is my soul mate. Deep, intellectual conversations...a deep connection unlike any other...a true HVM who treats me like a queen....but zero romantic or sexual expectations. Its the most beautiful relationship I've ever had.

Salt_Satisfaction · 2020-07-24T15:21:36+00:00

Same. This is why I don't really believe that men and women can be friends. I would have no issue only being friends with a guy, but every time I've treated them in a similar way to my female friends, they start getting romantic/sexual ideas.

That's why I keep men at a distance emotionally speaking. I simply can't be close friends with someone that I know is interested in being more than friends with me when I'm not into them that way.

With men on the other hand, don't assume he's interested in you until he tells you. Too many girls jump the gun just because he did a few flirtatious texts and confess to the guy. Girl no.

Winesday_addams · 2020-07-24T11:53:54+00:00

I have a few. I feel like certain communities are better about mixed-sex friendships, and it's weird that literally all of my male friends come from the same community. Every other male friend has either tried to sleep with me, or stopped talking to me when I got a boyfriend, etc.

estu0 · 2020-07-24T15:58:13+00:00

My best friend of 10 years is a man. It’s always been platonic but if he ever admitted to having ~feelings~ for me I’d probably be devastated

Jumpstartmytitty · 2020-07-24T09:59:19+00:00

Yes! I've lost a few friends because apparently they had feelings for me and were upset when I felt nothing. But I find it's either one way or another with guys. I have guy friends who have never flirted or pushed the friendship into a different direction and I'm still good friends with them.

Title	Wow, I've never thought about emotional connection like this, but it's so true, especially in relationships I've been in.
Author	Myplummms
Upvotes	1145
Comments	24
Date	July 24, 2020 12:28 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hwrmoz/wow_ive_never_thought_about_emotional_connection/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/wow-ive-never-thought-about-emotional-connection.717562 https://theredarchive.com/post/717562

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