"You're a Saint!" isn't a compliment...

Junior-Lion7893 · 2022-04-12T15:49:23+00:00

I work in a daycare and I teach children to take responsibility and make them hold accountability for their actions.

Whenever they apologize, it’s not just an “I’m sorry”. I make them apologize for what they did. For example “I’m sorry for pushing you into the mud”.

Edit: I don’t extend my patience to men or grown ass adults just because I don’t feel like it is my responsibility or duty to teach them things they should have learnt long ago.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2022-04-12T15:55:16+00:00

It's not a compliment. With the exceptions you've already mentioned, people say it to gently hint the other person that they are a dorrmat without saying they are a doormat.

Zurflu · 2022-04-12T17:12:03+00:00

It seems like soo often "you're a saint!" means "thank you for letting me walk over you!" or "thanks for throwing yourself under the bus!”

katiekat0214 · 2022-04-12T14:42:03+00:00

This whole thing of sainthood just riles me on many levels. Partly it's from being raised in the South, having an over-developed Protestant work ethic that I'll be the rest of my life trying to tame, and a recovering over-functioner my entire damn life. It's also partly from having suffered through trying to be the Good Wife the first time around, and that just failing spectacularly on so many levels.

Women are expected and conditioned to just do MORE MORE MORE all the time, and it never ends. You can literally work yourself to exhaustion and/or death, and I guarantee someone will still be critical, especially if there are husband and/or children involved. Like the pelican in her piety, self-sacrifice is allegedly "noble" and the highest calling, but folks, it can be fucking FATAL to women.

My motto, taken from Captain Awkward, is DO LESS. Scale back. Ask what's reasonable. Question anyone and everyone who tries to push and "likes" you only for your service. Question whether you need them and/or that attitude in your life, either at all or at a distance. I never want to be called a saint. I'd much rather be called selfish, because that person clearly wouldn't know me, and/or would have been nexted from my life for being judgmental anyway.

anahatasanah · 2022-04-12T16:39:34+00:00

Sainthood is generally achieved with selfless sacrificial service, yes? Women are conditioned to practice this, yet without the recognition of our hard work, and usually for the benefit of lvm, and then children exposed to it generally step into those replies as well. When we turn this effort towards ourselves, not only do we benefit, children benefit, and ultimately the world benefits. Here's to putting this energy into ourselves! Love you all. 💖

saint-jezebel · 2022-04-12T14:57:40+00:00

At work, I’m told I have the patience of a Saint. I basically teach adults as well as deal with ones (directly and indirectly at work) all day. It’s weird because a lot of it isn’t patience. It’s really letting people look stupid and dig themselves in a hole and all I have to do is sit there and watch and maybe ask a couple of questions. Over the years, I’ve really had to improve on being non-reactional, so idk know if it’s really patience or being unbothered, but I really try my best to find it entertaining.

I do agree it’s not a compliment, but I also notice many of the people who tell me this are very reactionary and are the first to cry or take things personally at the tiniest sight of literally a fly flying.

CoffeeBeforeAdulty · 2022-04-12T20:49:54+00:00

You all should see some of these replies I'm getting from salty men. Some don't even make sense. 🙄

Edit: Thank you, mods!!🥰

fds_throwaway_4_u · 2022-04-12T15:47:33+00:00

You are absolutely right.

Vaahla · 2022-04-12T23:33:00+00:00

I’ve said this “you’re a saint”

What I mean is you’re a doormat 🙂

t3ddi · 2022-04-13T01:14:39+00:00

Teacher here. Even in that context it usually means you are a just major people pleasing martyr.

Title	"You're a Saint!" isn't a compliment...
Author	CoffeeBeforeAdulty
Upvotes	454
Comments	12
Date	April 12, 2022 1:44 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/u1zgnq/youre_a_saint_isnt_a_compliment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/youre-a-saint-isnt-a-compliment.1110219 https://theredarchive.com/post/1110219

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