The complicated case of women’s oppression

The feminist movement has been booming in Kenya over the last few decades, launching several campaigns and initiatives to bring about gender equality, addressing a range of issues, from female genital mutilation, to domestic violence, to sexual assault. As a feminist and a woman myself, I have heartily welcomed the various methods of undermining my oppression that feminism has afforded me and other Kenyan women.

The first step to solving any problem is admitting that there is a problem, and the second step is analyzing the problem: Why it exists, what causes it, and how to stop it. If we apply this logic to the oppression of women, then we must ask ourselves certain questions, such as whether women are oppressed or not, and how far reaching and severe is this oppression?

Dear readers, when you think of an oppressed class, what comes to your mind? A group of people that are denigrated and abused? That are more impoverished than others? That are subjected to violence with impunity? Are they punished more by the law and by society? Are they seen as less important than the oppressor class?

Violence

So with your vision of an oppressed class in mind, do us women carry the characteristics of an oppressed class? Let’s consider one characteristic, which is that an oppressed class is subjected to more violence than the oppressor class, or that the oppressor class themselves abuse, or even persecute the oppressed class. While it is an unfortunate truth that women do go through violence, do they go through more violence than men? According to childtrends.org (2014), adolescent males were more likely to be the victims of assault than female adolescents. According to the United Nations Office of Drugs and Crime, 76.6% of homicide victims in Kenya are men. Globally, 78.7% of homicide victims are men. In the UK, men are almost twice as likely to be physically assaulted and murdered. Men are more likely to be victims of violent crime, even when rape is included. Men are also more likely to be robbed.

According to gendercide.org, an independent organization monitoring gender-based killings, men and boys were specifically targeted in the Rwandan genocide, Armenian genocide, and the Anfal campaign of 1988, in Bosnia-Herzegovina (1992-1995) in Colombia, East Timor (1975-99), Kashmir / Punjab / The Delhi Massacre (1984), Soviet Prisoners-of-War (POWs), 1941-42 among several others.

The male is born to be slaughtered.

- Kurdish proverb

You most probably heard about the 200 girls tragically kidnapped by Boko Haram, but the vile terrorist organization has been massacring boys as far back as 2013:

DAMATURU, Nigeria (AP) — Islamic militants set fire to a locked dormitory at a school in northern Nigeria, then shot and slit the throats of students who tried to escape through windows during a pre-dawn attack Tuesday. At least 58 students were killed, including many who were burned alive.

They "slaughtered them like sheep" with machetes, and gunned down those who ran away, said one teacher, Adamu Garba.

Soldiers guarding a checkpoint near the coed government school were mysteriously withdrawn hours before it was targeted by the militants, said the spokesman for the governor of northeastern Yobe state.

Female students were spared in the attack, said the spokesman, Abdullahi Bego, though girls and women have been abducted in the past by militants of the Boko Haram movement, whose name means "Western education is forbidden."

This time, the insurgents went to the female dormitories and told the young women to go home, get married and abandon the Western education they said is anathema to Islam, Bego said. All of the dead were teenage boys or young men. -

As of 2016, over 10,000 boys have been abducted at the hands of Boko Haram mostly to be used as cannon fodder.

But I know what you are thinking, that even though men are more likely to be killed and assaulted than women, women still have domestic violence and rape to deal with. While that unfortunately is true, it should not be taken for granted that men are very much likely to go through these crimes as well. According to Kigaya (2021) 33.5% of married men in Kenya have been victims of domestic violence, and 24.6% of married men in Kenya have been sexually abused by their wives. According to Lara Stemple (2009), Twenty-one per cent of Sri Lankan males who were seen at a London torture treatment centre reported sexual abuse while in detention. In El Salvador, 76% of male political prisoners surveyed in the 1980s described at least one incidence of sexual torture. A study of 6,000 concentration-camp inmates in Sarajevo found that 80% of men reported having been raped. According to Stemple and Meyer (2014) found that over 90% of rape that occurs in prisons happens to male victims. In the US, men are as likely as women to be raped.

So even though women are an oppressed class, we are less likely to be murdered or assaulted than men, even as adolescents, and we are less likely to be targeted by terrorist groups and foreign invaders. But if men are the oppressor class, violence against them would be taken more seriously, and resources would be lavished upon them, while female victims are ignored, correct? Actually, not really. In Nairobi, there are several women’s shelters, but none for men fleeing domestic violence. In the UK, less than 1% of domestic violence shelters are exclusively for male domestic victims. In the US, less than 1% of domestic violence shelters are for men, and none of them receive public funding. Out of all the organizations that recognize rape as a weapon of war, less than 3% offer services to male victims (DelZotto & Jones, 2002) Infact, male victims of rape can be executed for homosexuality, a crime in most African countries.

Some may argue that the massive gap in resources afforded to female and male victims, is simply because women are oppressed and are in greater need of resources, and that crimes against us are socially acceptable, while crimes against men are not. However, this is incorrect. According to a study done by Felson & Feld (2009), people were much more likely to call the police on a man hitting a woman, especially if the woman was his wife, than if the victim was a male. The instance for which people were least likely to call the police, was one in which a woman hit a man, particularly if the man was her husband.

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But if violence occurs more to men than women, and women receive more resources than men, and violence against women is taken more seriously than violence against men, are women oppressed in this regard?

The Law

Another feature of an oppressed class is that they are systematically oppressed and discriminated against by an oppressor class’ justice system. So it stands to reason that women would be treated like second class citizens in courts and prisons, but has this happened? According to the World Prison brief, only 6.7% of incarcerated persons in Kenya are female. But this alone does not indicate that the system is sexist, since men commit more crime, particularly violent crime, than women. However, according to an extensive report by Sonja Starr, men receive 63% longer sentences for the same crime as women, and women are more likely to be let off with a warning, to avoid charges and convictions if arrested, get released on bail, and get acquitted than men. Women are also twice as likely to avoid incarceration if convicted. Women who killed their husbands got, on average, shorter sentences than men who killed their wives, by ten years. Women are also more likely than men to have all charges against them dropped (Cassia & Spears, 2008) Furthermore, criminals who committed violence against women receive harsher sentencing (Beaulieu & Messner, 2008) Out of fifteen of the world’s longest prison sentences, only one was handed to a woman, who was released after eight years. This says nothing of the disparities between male and female prisons, since female prisons are significantly lower security and offer more freedom than male prisons. It is no surprise that in the US, women make up less than a miniscule 2% of people on death row. Only 13 women in the US have been executed in the last 40 years. In the US, women are also 25 times LESS likely to be killed by the police than men.

This trend of punishing males harsher than females doesn’t start in adulthood. According to Lytton & Romney (1991), boys are physically punished more than girls by their parents, and according to a 2020 report by Human Rights Watch, boys make up 78.3% of those paddled in schools,

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“A father of two boys and a girl felt that it was more acceptable for boys to be paddled than girls. He explained, “My little girl—don’t you put your hands on her…. As far as my boys, I am super hard on them. For one, they are young black men and they are faced with different obstacles in life. I get on them every day, and I know they say, ‘Man, my dad is tough.’”

Many interviewees reported that boys were beaten more harshly than girls. A middle school boy in Mississippi observed that one of his teachers “paddle the boys real hard and when he paddle the girls he don’t really hit them.” One student reported that there are smaller paddles for girls: “They use a short one for girls and a long one for the boys”

  • A violent education: corporal punishment Of Children in US public schools, Human Rights Watch 2020

So in summary, women are less likely to be victims of violent crime, crime against women is taken more seriously than crimes against men, more resources are afforded to female victims, and men get harsher outcomes for their crimes than women, particularly if their victim is a woman, and even girls are less likely to be punished by their schools and parents than boys.

The Economy

Another characteristic of oppressed classes is that they are often poorer and live in more despicable conditions than that of their oppressor. So how do women and men stack up? Out of the 20,095 homeless people in Kenya, 17,747 are men, which means men make up more than 85% of the homeless population. In the US, 70% of the homeless population are male..) According to a 1991 study by Onyango, Suda, and Orwa, nine out of ten street children are male. But how are women doing when it comes to our money and wellbeing? Well here are the facts; Women control 85% of all consumer spending, 91% of new homes, 66% of personal computers, 92% of vacations, 93% of food, and 65% of new cars. Infact, women now control over $20 TRILLION in annual consumer spending, and that is set to increase to $28 trillion in the next five years (silverstein & Sayre, 2009) If women are really so victimized and economically disadvantaged, where are we getting this money from? We shall see.

Another characteristic of an oppressed class is that they are often forced to do dangerous, overly laborious, and unwanted jobs, either through outright slavery or out of necessity. Applying this logic to women’s oppression, it should be the case that women do more difficult and dangerous jobs than men. But men are 23 times more likely to die at work than women are.

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Women also make up only 8% of firefighters, 10% of construction workers, and 13% of police officers, and less than 10% of the world’s military. So, in all the world’s most dangerous and difficult jobs, men make up the vast majority of workers, including the majority of all protective and life-saving jobs, such as being 87% of police officers, over 90% of the world’s military, and 92% of firefighters.

But if women are systemically and economically discriminated against, we would have to work longer hours than men just to survive. However, according to US census data, men work 5 hours MORE than women, per week. According to a study done by the Resolution Foundation, men in the UK worked 12 hours more than women, per week. This trend starts as early as 7 years old, where employed boys work 2 more hours per week than girls, according to data by the world bank. In Kenya, 44% of women are in part time employment, but only 29% of men are in part time employment. Women also retire earlier than men in several countries.

So in summary, while men might earn more than women, men are almost much more likely to die on the job than women are, much more likely to be homeless, more likely to live on the street from a young age, work longer hours per week than women in more dangerous and undesirable jobs, and retire later in several countries. Despite this, women drive almost all consumer purchasing. Are women economically oppressed? You decide.

Health & Happiness

Another characteristic of an oppressed class is that they will usually have poorer health conditions, and will most likely die earlier than the oppressor class, either due to their lower quality of life, increased victimization rate, less accessible to hospitals, or a combination of all three. So it stands to reason that women will be generally unhealthier and live shorter lives than men. According to the world bank, Kenyan men’s life expectancy was 64 years, while women’s life expectancy was 69 years, a five year gap...in favor of women. Women outlive men in almost every country on Earth. It’s no accident either, women's health receives over four times as much funding as men's health.

Men are more likely to die from heart attacks, cancer, and are more likely to have high blood pressure than women. Despite this, women visit the doctor more than men.

Males dying more than females begins at birth. According to MacDorman & Kirmeyer (2005) fetal death is 7% higher in boys than in girls. This trend continues throughout life, because by their first birthday, 21% more boys than girls die (Mathews & MacDorman, 2006) According to data provided by the World Bank, mortality rates for female infants was also lower than for male infants in Kenya, and mortality rate for adult women was much lower than mortality rate for men. Men also commit suicide far more than women, out of 421 suicides, only 91 were women. In central kenya, the situation is even more skewed, with 90% of suicide victims being male. Despite this, women are more likely than men to go to therapy and take mental health medication.

Infact, men were more likely to die from a lot of different things, not just suicide. Overally, men die from injuries much more often than women. 80% of drowning victims are male, males are twice as likely to die in a car crash than females, men are more than twice as likely to die of a drug overdose, and over 4 times as likely to die from firearms. In fact, even though many people focus on the effect coronavirus has on women, men are much more likely to die from coronavirus than women

Another characteristic of an oppressed class is that their lives are generally harder and more tragic than that of the oppressor, and the oppressor’s ill treatment of them might be the cause of their troubles. But we have already seen that women enjoy a longer life and are less likely to commit suicide than men, but are men, the oppressor class, happier than women? According to data from the Gallup World Poll from 2016, women in Kenya actually reported higher levels of life satisfaction than men, by almost 4%. Infact, in the majority of countries in the world, women rated higher rates of life satisfaction.

In summary, women live longer, healthier lives than men, are more likely to visit a doctor and therapist, are less likely to commit suicide or die accidentally, and report higher levels of life satisfaction. In addition, women’s health issues are funded much more than men’s.

Women are the only ‘oppressed class’ in history to live longer, live healthier, and report higher levels of life satisfaction than their oppressor class. Women are the only ‘oppressed’ class that are less likely to be victims of violent crimes, and are systemically advantageous in all areas of the justice system. Women are the only ‘oppressed’ class where violence against us is taken more seriously than violence against the oppressor class, to the point that a member of the oppressor class will receive harsher prison sentences if their victims is a member of the oppressed class. Women are the only ‘oppressed’ class to commit less suicide, are less likely to be homeless, and control a majority of the world’s spending.

If men wanted to oppress us, they are the most incompetent oppressors of all time. And if there is one thing that men aren’t, it is incompetent. But we must ask ourselves, do men actually want to oppress women?

In almost all societies of the world, men have gone to war, leaving women and children in their homes, specifically so they could protect women and children. According to the Birkenhead Drill, women and children are to be taken care of first in the case of a maritime disaster.

  1. In almost all societies of the world, men have especially taken up the most dangerous and difficult jobs, for the benefit of women and children. All the world’s buildings and almost all the roads were built by men, almost all firefighters and police officers protecting the general population are male. Men work more hours a week than women and often choose the most demanding but higher paying jobs, such as being petroleum engineers or cardiologists, while women choose more fulfilling and more flexible careers, such as being teachers. Men then spend on, and give their earnings to women, and our children, which is why women are now driving the world’s economy. Even in foreign countries where conditions are very oppressive, many men still work to provide for their families, according to one of the workers:

“They just become helpers and are badly paid. Many just end up accepting it, as they cannot go back to their home countries, because they are supporting their families.

I am sending money back to my family. They are all looking to me, but I can't tell them what it is like here, or they would tell me to come home.”

Women are the only ‘oppressed’ class to be protected by, clothed, fed, taken care of, loved, and sacrificed for by their ‘oppressors’.

Culture

If men really hated women so much, why would they dedicate their whole lives to providing for and protecting us? A straight man will base his future on how much money he will make, since he has the obligation to be a husband and father. He will slowly leave behind his passion for art history or creative writing and choose a less fulfilling, less comfortable job with better pay. He will commute longer, work more hours, and take less vacations, because he has or will have a family to provide for. When he finds a girl he likes, he will have to cajole her with dates and gifts, and eventually he will have to purchase an engagement ring for her. In many cultures, he will have to provide a dowry, brideservice, or both. Let us consider one example:

The Kikuyu tribe is the largest tribe in Kenya. According to Kikuyu traditions, after a man proposes to a woman (usually with a diamond ring, that he purchased himself, in modern society) him and his family visit his fiancee’s home, in a visit known as ‘Kumenya mucii’, where the groom and his family must provide gifts, such as cash or animals, and also bear all the expenses of the visit, such as the food and drinks for both families. After this, the groom has to pay ‘kuracia’ or a part of the dowry payment, which can include animals, cash, or assorted items for the father and the mother of the bride. On the eve of the wedding, the groom and his friends or family must come to the gate of the bride’s house and ask to be let in. The bride’s female friends and family will ask for gifts from the groom before they let him in, such as food or even money. This is called ‘kuhura hoti’. Than the bride and some other women will cover themselves and the groom has to pick which of the women are his bride, if he chooses incorrectly he will have to pay a fine. This is called “gucagura muka wake” Then when the actual wedding happens, the groom and his family must pay for a portion of it. It is important to note that paying dowry, in Kikuyu culture, lasts a lifetime.

So, after paying for several dates, gifts, the engagement ring, a portion of the dowry, various other payments throughout the engagement process, gifts for the mother and father of the bride, and a part of the wedding, what does the groom get for all his efforts? He gets to provide for the woman, and any children she has, for the rest of his life.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not writing this to say that the grooms are disadvantaged, rather that it is very much their choice to do so, and they are very happy to do all this for their future wife. But if men hated women, why would they go through all this, just to please the women and their families?

“Nowhere in history has there been a ruling class working to afford diamonds they could give to the oppressed in hopes the oppressed would love them more.”

  • Dr. Warren Farrell, in The Myth of male power

What does the research say?

According to the Moral Machine experiment, both men and women were more inclined to save women over men in almost all countries and territories.

In an experiment done, both men and women were less likely to administer electric shocks to women than men (Taylor & Epstein, 1967).

In a more recent study, boys from the age of 12 showed more empathy for girls than they did for boys, and they continued to show more empathy for females throughout their lives (Stuijfzand et al. 2016)

Participants were more likely to push a man, rather than a woman, in front of a moving trolley, and they were also more likely to pay more money to administer less pain to a woman. Men were shocked, on average, about 13 times, compared to 8 for women. (Foot, 1978; Thomson, 1976; Studies 1A and 1B)

In a study done to test people’s empathy, 88% of participants chose to push a man, instead of a woman, in front of an oncoming trolley, and one participant said “‘in a utilitarian situation, I value women and children over men”. Participants were also asked who they would save first on a sinking ship, and over 60% of the participants said they would save a woman first (FeldmanHall et al., 2016)

Several other studies show that people of both genders are more reluctant to hurt a woman than a man.

Many people believe that women are seen as inferior to men and that women will be evaluated and regarded much more harshly than men, but research actually points to the opposite.

According to Eagly, Mladinic & Otto (1991), when participants were asked to evaluate all-male and all-female groups, women were always rated more positively than men.

According to Aidman & Carroll (2003), participants showed a preference for female attributes and speech, but none for male attributes.

If people still think men hate women, the science points to the opposite.

Religion

But what does God think of women? Much has been said of Christianity’s so-called ‘misogyny’. Does the Holy Bible oppress women? In Genesis 2:18, The Lord says “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Many besmirch this verse by comparing the status of ‘helper’ to ‘slave’ and saying that this oppresses women, however the same word is used to describe God several times, and is never used in a negative way. Eve was created because Adam had weaknesses, not because Adam was superior. Women in the Bible were not created to be slaves or to serve men, but rather to be their equal companion. But after the fall, both Adam and Eve were punished, and Eve’s punishment, in Genesis 3:16, was this:

“I will make your pains in childbearing very severe;

with painful labor you will give birth to children.

Your desire will be for your husband,

and he will rule over you.”

This is another reason some people say Christianity is misogynistic, but is it? First, let us consider the first line, God did not originate painful childbirth, it was always uncomfortable, He just multiplied it, as a result of sin. It also goes without saying that childbirth will take up only a tiny percentage of a woman’s life. In the second line, it says that women will now give birth to children, and even though it is part of Eve’s punishment, having children is something that several women take much joy in, and this is also acknowledged in the Bible, in Psalms 127:3, “Children are a gift from the Lord, they are a reward from Him” so women are actually being rewarded in the form of children. The next two lines are very controversial, and some believe that God is justifying abuse or oppression of women through these two lines, but this is simply not the case.

In 1 Peter 3:7, it says:“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” Here, men are instructed not to hurt or oppress their wives, especially since women are more delicate than men, otherwise their prayers will be hindered.

Furthermore, in Ephesians 5:25, it says “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” here husbands are commanded not just to love their wives, but to sacrifice for us as well. In Ephesians 5:28 to 5:29, it says “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church” here, men are called upon to afford the same niceties they give to themselves to their wives, and also feed and care for their wives. In Ephesians 5:31 it says “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” this refers to the intimate and loving relationship between a man and a woman, but also sets boundaries on how the man must treat the woman. A man cannot beat, rape or oppress himself, and so he cannot do the same to his wife.

But many point to the concept of a wife’s submission to her husband as misogynistic, but the word submit is used several times in the Bible, and Jesus Christ himself, while being equal with God, submitted Himself to God. In Phillipians 5:6-8:

“[Christ Jesus] who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”

It should also be noted that men are not allowed to shirk their responsibilities toward their wives, as we see in 1 Timothy 5:8: “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” However, a wife’s submission to her husband is voluntary.

So to summarize, Eve’s punishment is childbirth, which lasts only a small percentage of a woman’s life, children, which is a gift from God and makes women very happy, and to submit to their husbands, their husbands who must love, sacrifice, protect, respect, provide for, and care for them, lest their prayers be hindered. Not to forget, men must also provide for the woman’s children, lest he be called worse than an unbeliever. Even in women’s punishment, men are implicated.

But what of Adam’s own punishment? In Genesis 3:17-19, God decrees Adam’s punishment:

“Cursed is the ground because of you;

through painful toil you will eat food from it

all the days of your life.

It will produce thorns and thistles for you,

and you will eat the plants of the field.

By the sweat of your brow

you will eat your food

until you return to the ground,

since from it you were taken;

for dust you are

and to dust you will return.”

Two things may stick out to you, firstly that Adam’s punishment is about twice as long as Eve’s. Secondly, in the third line, it says that Adam’s punishment will last “all the days of your life”, as compared to Eve’s punishment, which only lasts as long as it takes a woman to give birth.

Another reason that people say Christianity is misogynistic is because all twelve of Christ’s apostles, and Christ himself, were male. And while that is true, let us look at how these men were treated:

I don’t even need to tell you how Christ Himself died

Paul was beheaded

Peter was crucified upside-down

Andrew was crucified

Thomas was killed when four soldiers pierced him with their spears

Phillip was arrested and put to death

Matthew was stabbed to death

Bartholomew was flayed alive and then beheaded

James was stoned and then clubbed to death

Simon the Zealot was crucified

Matthais was burned alive

John was exiled to the Island of Patmos, and was cast into boiling oil in Rome, but managed to escape unharmed. He is commonly considered the only apostle to die a natural death.

What does God think of subjecting women to such brutality? Well, Jesus Christ personally prevented the stoning of a woman

It seems even The Lord Almighty believes in treating women gently.

Do women really carry the heavier burden in Christianity?

To conclude,

Women are less likely to be victims of violence than men, and if we are victims of violence, women receive more resources than men, and violence against women is taken more seriously than violence against men, and men get harsher outcomes for their crimes than women, particularly if their victim is a woman. Even in childhood, boys are punished more harshly, both by their parents and by schools. While men might earn more than women, men are almost much more likely to die on the job than women are, much more likely to be homeless, more likely to live on the street from a young age, work longer hours per week than women in more dangerous and undesirable jobs, and retire later in several countries. Despite this, women drive almost all consumer purchasing. Women live longer, healthier lives than men, are less likely to commit suicide, and report higher levels of life satisfaction. In addition, women’s health issues are funded much more than men’s. Both genders express more reluctance to hurt women than men and both genders feel more empathy for females than males. Women benefit from cultural constructs which ensure men must buy us and our family gifts and, after marriage, provide for us and our children for the rest of their lives. In the world’s largest religion, husbands must love, sacrifice for, protect, provide for, respect, and care for their wives, while women have to submit to their husbands, and are blessed with children.

When us feminists refer to a patriarchy, we usually think of a society in which women are reduced to the status of slaves and men are treated like kings, where men hold a disproportionate amount of power, and use that power to make their own lives better than ours, but is that really what has happened? Dear reader, I hope you are now convinced that men’s lives are certainly not better than women’s lives.

What of women’s power? Do we hold any power in today’s society? While a majority of the world’s governments are male, women represent a larger class of voters than men in several countries. In Kenya, there are more women than men. And as we have seen so far, even in a country with a male-dominated government, women are still afforded a bevy of privileges.

As stated before, women now drive the world economy. The power lies in not who earns the money, but who spends it. She who has the gold, makes the rules. There are now several industries marketing wholly or majorly to women.

So why am I saying all of this? Because I want to prove feminism is not needed? Because I want to prove that women are bad and men are good? None of the above.

Infact, this is my love letter to women, that you are loved, and that the world does not hate you for being a woman, that you are needed and wanted and protected.

Feminism is still very much needed, but we must change the narrative that there is a systemic hatred and violence toward women, and start seeing it for what it is: That women are seen as equally important, or more important, than men, and that women are even protected more than men, and criminals who hurt women are just that: Criminals, who are seen as worse than criminals that hurt men. I would also like to challenge the assumption that men hate women and use their power and strength to hurt and oppress women. If statistics prove anything, men mostly use their power and strength to protect and provide for women OVER other men.

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