How do we define "emasculate" from LWMA perspective.

Urhhh · 2024-04-17T20:07:43+00:00

In my opinion the concept of "emasculation" critically relies on traditional concepts of gender and gender roles. I.e. regardless of one's personal perception of gender, "emasculation" to me refers to the intent of the person acting upon another. If I don't take traditional gender roles seriously, someone has still "emasculated" me if they downplay or insult my ability to meet said gender roles (this inevitably has an effect on my social economy, even if I think it's bullshit). In short: consequences exist regardless of our political or philosophical beliefs.

MonkeyCartridge · 2024-04-17T20:17:39+00:00

Sorry I can't provide much clarification. I pretty much never use the term myself. It seems to involve some sort of "make someone spineless" meaning or "questioning your honor" or "insulting your dignity."

Either way, the fact that there isn't a feminine equivalent to the term seems to imply it either refers to a sort of dignity only in question for men, or implying a form of dignity that simply doesn't exist in women. So to me that can only mean some type of a "defend your honor" or "question your dominance" type of thing.

It's vague enough that I just pull out the ol thesaurus and find a better word or phrase.

When I think of men who become almost amorphous blobs in deference to their girlfriends, it makes me think of fawning behavior. Basically instant Stockholm syndrome. They are mad at you or disagree with you, so you just reflexively agree with them, or get apologetic even if you haven't done anything wrong, or similar. It's usually "you're right. I'm wrong. You're so great. Thanks for not leaving me."

Usually a sign of abuse in women. In men, people tend to just point and call them "whipped". Or just try to cope with phrases like "the woman is always right" and "happy wife, happy life". Because they are often with partners who prioritize being right over the relationship, or make everything the man's fault.

It's also something I'm not sure is talked about with regards to men much. Because basically, "Men's issues don't exist. Either you are a real man with no issues, or you have issues and therefore don't count amongst real men."

I mean to be fair, we do look at these situations and root for them to get away. The teacher in School of Rock comes to mind. We just tend to say the man is being "emasculated" rather than being emotionally controlled or even abused.

Grand-Juggernaut6937 · 2024-04-18T01:07:33+00:00

I see emasculation as when someone uses an arbitrary view of masculine traits to shame a man for how he acts.

I.e. “Stop being an incel and grow up” is emasculating because it strips a man’s identity of being able to appear attractive to women and being emotionally mature.

But at the same time “grow up and let women split the bill” can also be emasculating, because the speaker is trying to enforce their own view of masculinity on someone they judge to not be worthy of being a man.

Especially with women, but often men, will do a sort of “and one” emasculation where they’ll emasculate to anger a man to the point of boiling over, and then use their social environment against them. I.e annoying a man until he retorts, and then getting someone to throw him out of a venue (or banned, as it commonly happens online)

LoganCaleSalad · 2024-04-18T13:54:50+00:00

For me it's the someone trying to force you, out of malice, out your masculine frame either through words or actions.

When a woman gets mad & tells you she should've slept with that guy from the gym, or attacks your dick size, or was cheating on you with multiple men at the same time.

You also get it from other men when they attack your masculinity calling you gay, tell you to stop being a woman, or to man up.

Basically anything that is said or done to attack your masculinity or make you feel like "less of a man" is emasculation. They are attempting to "take" you out of your masculine frame, to assert some form of dominance or control over you by attacking your very sense of self worth.

Just because someone is trying to emasculate you doesn't mean they will succeed. They only succeed when you accept that they're "right" and start to feel lesser than you know yourself to be.

eli_ashe · 2024-04-17T20:47:14+00:00

it's a relativized term. it carries meaning within the cultural gender expressions to which it is used. to emasculate meaning little more than 'that is what a woman would do' and what a woman would do is definitionally culturally defined.

unless there are cross cultural gendered norms, of which there are none that I am aware of at any rate, the entire meaning here is merely one of a cultural perspective. hence, for instance, you can hear folks talk bout whole other cultures as 'emasculated', when in point of fact that is just how masculinity happens there. masculinity there may even be more hardcore manly men doing hot manly stuff, but because its different it is emasculating relative to the culture within which that term is used.

couple of classic and current examples of this are scottish and japanese cultures, whereby the men where skirts 'kilts' and dresses 'kimonos' respectively. in both the men traditionally dress their hair (stylish) and put on war paint (make up) when they bout to tpk your ass. Its only funny to watch folks in the current laugh as it happens.

masculating something means that dudes, dicks, tans, etc... are doing a thing. previous generations masculated, say, washing the dishes for y'all, cause we hardcore like that. maybe we gave it our own spin too. see the anime 'the way of the house husband' for a humorous take on this.

but I mention it as it makes the point well, that emasculating is a culturally relative term, masculating something is a not. to masculate something is the act of making something masculine. which is a bit more personal and real whereas emasculating is something that folks say bout a cultural practice that isn't their own. one is the positive claims of masculinity, the other is the negative claims of losers.

Low_Rich_5436 · 2024-04-18T15:23:01+00:00

The diversity of answers is fascinating.

My understanding of emasculation is the situation in which a man is prevented, usually through an imbalanced relationship, to occupy a place as a man in his social unit that is specific to manhood.

When a husband has no decision power in his own couple and his partner decides everything and even speaks for him, he is emasculated. When a man is not allowed to display authority over his own children, he is emasculated.

I believe the term is of adequate use only in hetero couples because it rests on gendered roles, or rather an imbalanced redefinition of gendered roles. Current western societies are emasculating because they tend to extend ever more the role of women, while restricting ever more the role of men.

Nowadays the primary authority figure for children is mostly mothers, but the primary care figure is also the mother. The man is relegated to a position barely above that of the children, often being bossed around by his wife with little symbolic space of his own. That's emasculating.

Nowadays men are expected not to be romantically conquering, but also do not have the option to receive attention and choose. All they can do is essentially beg for romantic connection, with all the agency on the female side. That's emasculating.

Nowadays men are still expected to bring in money, but do not have a monopoly on that anymore nor the respect associated with it. At the same time women still make most of the couple's purchasing decisions. They decide on furniture, vacations, food etc, leaving many men as secondary characters in the financial life of the couple. That's emasculting.

Nowadays men are expected to "help" 50/50 with childcare, but do not get 50/50 time off nor 50/50 parental rights, nor the righ to give their name to the child, nor any right whatsoever women don't have, while women have rights we don't. Secondary characters once again. That's emasculating.

Emasculation is the transfer of traditionnaly male agency to women without an equivalent transfer of traditionnal female agency to men.

Jaded_Japan · 2024-04-18T11:30:57+00:00

Here's how I view it: if I get a bad performance review at work, that sucks. Not because "corporate drone" is my truest, deepest identity, but because that review signifies the opinion of people with a lot of control over my quality of life.

Likewise, I don't give a shit about masculinity for its own sake, but I recognize that "masculinity" is society's rubric for me. Poor social performance reviews or situations that cast my capacity in a negative light are likely to directly harm me. This is distressing.

KatsutamiNanamoto · 2024-04-18T13:41:40+00:00

Fuck this fucking word. In the minds of fuckers who came up with this word, "emasculate someone" means "make someone less of a man", which is fucking bullshit. There is no such thing as "less of a man" or "more of a man". Same with "woman", same with "human". Nobody can be "less of a human" or "more of a human", it's impossible, period.

Cuts4Cuts · 2024-04-22T06:52:18+00:00

People usually have one definition, the braindead definition: "EW! homosexual emasculated men!!! How dare they be feminine!!!"

Mine is different, depending on context, it could be "just some guy who isn't hypermasculine and holding up toxic gender rolls". However the majority of the time I see emasculated as "misandry pushed onto men to force more traditionally masculine men from being masculine and forcing them to be more feminine". I see this with a lot of (non misoginistic) men being screamed at if they want a traditional lifestyle, stay at home wife etc. Etc.

And I say this as a pretty feminine, binary trans man, misandry affects so much in life its insane. Hell even more masculine binary trans men and binary trans women have a seizure and call me emasculated when in reality im just a dude who likes to be a bit more feminine while also being binary.

I also count shaming dick size as emasculating. Anything tearing men down for simply being a man, in my opinion, is emasculating. Not the weird ass definitions old people have like "emasculating is evil homo feminine men raaahh!" Or women's definition of "making a man more feminine and open and honest and live laugh love and vulnerable!!1!"

Year2691 · 2026-02-05T13:18:41+00:00

Another term for emasculation without gender connotations is undermining.

dearSalroka · 2024-04-18T03:55:32+00:00

People have different assumptions, so best to clarify what is meant whenever having high-level discussions IMO.

I believe 'emasculation' is not some objective action, but a subjective feeling (like jealousy). Specifically a form of shame stemming from insecurity in being valued/recognised as a man.

If a person tells you that you shouldn't cry, or grieve, or like sewing, they're not emasculating you. They're being straight-up sexist and should be called out. You are a man; you get to choose what that means to you. They can't take your manhood from you, it's what you are.

A secure man can wear pink, cry, etc - and still feel secure in his identity in a man. If mocked, he dismisses the shallow assumptions and moves on. A misandrist may say he 'should feel' emasculated, but his feelings are his business.

OTOH, an insecure man may feel 'emasculated' if he believes his value as a man is being questioned. His self-worth is vulnerable to outside forces, on which he blames inside feelings (shame, anxiety, etc). He may expect typical masculinity from himself and avoid 'emasculation' in private too, because the feelings of inadequacy are from within.

Most people don't self-reflect on uncomfortable emotions. They're more likely to blame others for 'making' them feel them at all. Much as a jealous person blames you 'because you knew how they'd react' or prevents you from seeing friends; rather than recognising their self-worth is so low that they believe that you wouldn't choose them if you had any other options.

So, say a married woman gets a promotion and is now earning more than her husband:

If she sees him as less of a man, or worth less than her, she is a misandrist. The responsibility is her sexism.
If she is merely excited by her success, but he feels emasculated, she has not made him feel this feeling. His insecurity as a 'provider' is triggering feelings of shame, even if he accuses her of 'emasculating' him. The responsibility is his insecurity.
If she is excited by her success, and he is secure in his value to her, they both get to be very happy about how much faster they can pay the mortgage off now, or discuss travel plans etc.

If you're a man, anything you do is 'what a man would do'. Sexists demand their idea of what 'man' means, but the only person that can make you feel emasculated is yourself.

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