Is there a safe space for cPTSD men?

a-man-from-earth · 2023-03-14T10:06:40+00:00

Not specifically for cPTSD, but generally: /r/mensupportmen.

Nevarinin512 · 2023-03-14T13:52:57+00:00

Listen, people who tell people in a cPTSD sub to „just not be afraid because it is irrational“ are insanely low empathy and you can and should disregard their opinions cause they clearly aren’t coming to you in good faith (or they are downright stupid).

A fear of false accusation isn’t irrational to begin with as they obviously exist and the consequences are obviously pretty bad even if you can proof in court that you didn’t do it. It’s the unaffected telling the affected how to feel.

One shouldn’t be overly worried about it to the point of irrational fear, but since you have cPTSD I think giving you some slack is very much in order, especially since your fear doesn’t harm others.

People who call others rapists for the fear of false accusations are insane. It makes no sense. Why would an actual rapist be worried about false accusations? I think they are probably more concerned with accusations that obviously aren’t false if one is a rapist.

And worrying about false accusations also doesn’t mean you don’t care about real victims. There is no logical connection between the two.

I know it might be difficult because of your conditioning, but you are allowed to think of these people what they deserve:

they are idiots who attacked you with illogical arguments they basically pulled out of their behind. You don’t need to care about people who are obviously dumb and/or only engage with you in bad faith. They have no interest in helping people with PTSD and they don’t care about your mental health, they even attack it, just to feel righteous in telling someone off. You can most definitely disregard their opinions as the trash they are.

cardinal-thin · 2023-03-14T17:56:59+00:00

The main cptsd sub is just a circlejerk about how all are predators are men and all victims are women. Here's a snapshot of the final thread that pissed me off so much I had to unsubscribe (don't click if you're still in the throes of a flashback):

https://www.reddit.com/r/everydaymisandry/comments/11biv4g/quotes_which_got_community_support_from_a_general

Even my therapist had no trouble saying "yeah, they're traumatized, but they're still assholes."

There's /r/mensupportmen, /r/broenergy, and a few others I think. It's just dumb because we shouldn't need to separate by gender to avoid the emotional flashbacks, but the mods on many subs are such bigoted trash that "this isn't my experience as a man" is removed, while "most men support rapists" stays up. It's sickening. I'd bet they're the same people who whine about men not wanting to be vulnerable, too.

AnhedoniaRecovery · 2023-03-15T16:19:45+00:00

/r/CPTSD has a 7% overlap with FDS. Which is uh... pretty disturbing.

I was there in the early days and it was pretty good, but unfortunately it's just gotten too big and I would no longer consider a safe place for trauma discussion.

househubbyintraining · 2023-03-14T11:49:20+00:00

Don't call yourself a wimp for pushing through this dogshit, your better than the average populous at dealing with your emotions, and if anything I cherish ppl who are capable of that. r/SupportForTheAccused may be helpful.

nomino3390 · 2023-03-14T16:38:58+00:00

I was told I shouldn't be afraid, because only 1 in 20 falsely accused men go to prison

The classic bias, double standards, and logical fallacy used by wrong people with no logical thinking ability:

"If denying the exception helps my point, then the exception is unimportant because it's an exception, and pointing out the majority is important."

"If the exception being important helps my point, then the exception is important and pointing out the majority is invalidated."

And then there's pointing out other problems and saying that they're bigger, trying to say that it invalidates "smaller" problems. This is relative privation fallacy and makes no sense.

The general population will never be intelligent and know these things until kids start thinking that using these fallacies makes them stupid and deserving of shame and socially perceived wrongness.

And then you have the "I fucking love science" crowd that tries to be a smartass and use the fallacy fallacy to invalidate this kind of logical thinking and basic intelligence. That fallacy doesn't apply, it's to be used when someone tries to say that someone's overarching point is invalidated by one of their subpoints that use a fallacy.

GorchestopherH · 2023-03-15T18:58:52+00:00

This is probably the only real safe space unfortunately.

I really don't want to make anything worse for you, but 1 in 20 falsely accused men landing in jail *really* doesn't give me any comfort, I am not sure how it's supposed to be any comfort to you.

Unit_08 · 2023-03-15T06:55:35+00:00

I've never had a problem with trigger warnings, but it upsets me that some things are considered more valid triggers than others in progressive spaces.

I hope you're able to find a place where you can express your feelings and experiences openly, and not be criticized or mocked for it.

RedSandman · 2023-03-16T10:45:00+00:00

I’m sorry someone said that to you, mate. It never fails to amaze me how cruel some people can be, especially on a sub like that, even when they’ve suffered similar things.

I’m glad you’ve come to a place in your life where you can deal with things in a healthy way. You should be very proud of yourself for that. I work in mental health, and it’s so easy to just rely on old crutches. Well done, mate.

I hope this sub, or any other you find treats you well, like you deserve. This sub obviously doesn’t focus on cPTSD, but I’ve always found it to be a welcoming and supportive community, if you feel like sticking around. In any case, take care of yourself and remember, you’re loved and appreciated.

devasiaachayan · 2023-03-16T12:42:29+00:00

I also have a fear of being falsely accused of something and getting badly abused for it. In my country it's common for Women to abuse men brutally by falsely accusing them and making the whole society violently attack them. Recently I saw a dream where I was falsely accused and this has had a impact on my interactions with people in my college

shit-zen-giggles · 2023-03-14T11:59:47+00:00

The following places might be helpful:

/r/malementalhealth

/r/MalePsychology

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