DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

636god · 2018-04-08T05:04:27+00:00

Tell them you can't afford one.

tearteto1 · 2018-04-08T06:15:07+00:00

"They don't make 'em like they used to"

grumpy_old_mann · 2018-04-08T05:51:14+00:00

You can always turn it around on them. EG: "You seem very interested in my sex life." Make it about them, not you.

elementalwalruss · 2018-04-08T05:30:53+00:00

[deleted]

pizzasteak · 2018-04-08T05:48:11+00:00

what do i need a girlfriend for? if i want sex, i go have sex. if i want dinner i go get dinner. if i want conversation, i go talk to people.

kayfab · 2018-04-08T06:02:16+00:00

Society as a long way to go before understanding and accepting people who are tired or do not want to get into relationships.

I reply i don't give a fuck.... when they accuse me of being gay i tell them i don't give a fuck think what you want....

Most people in society are fucking idiots anyways, slave to there cheating whore.

Phantom_Spark · 2018-04-08T05:55:34+00:00

Basic reasoning/excuses

You’re picky
You haven’t found the one
You’re focusing all your effort on being a well rounded great guy so when you do find her, you will be a top shelf catch (this one should really make them STFU)
You’re gay or asexual
You’re focusing your energy on saving up to buy a house, so you’re not dating right now
Demanding career, or working hard toward promotion
You’re not a serial dater. You prefer to find quality women and date them seriously, thus give them your full attention.
Reverse it.... why are they always so curious? Start picking on them an ask them questions. Like do they want to fuck you or something? If done well they’ll leave you alone because you put the focus on them.

I can dream this nonsense up all day. Long story short? Eat a dick. Of all things to focus on you want to know who someone is sleeping with? Why don’t friends talk about if you signed up for a 401k? Or are they saving up for a house or building credit? Are they training or studying for self improvement? Etc.

GioDinoMan · 2018-04-08T06:26:15+00:00

"Why do you ask?"

"Look, [Bob | Jane], I really enjoy working with you, and you seem like a great person, but I think romantic relationships between coworkers aren't a good idea. Thanks for thinking of me in that way, though."

SuperbrImaging · 2018-04-08T07:20:46+00:00

I tell them that I don't want anyone controlling my life.

The response I get is that I'm too selfish. Too selfish to let others dictate how I spend my money and time, too selfish to be spending obscene amounts of money on a woman instead of for myself and for my own happiness, and too selfish to "grow up".

They don't even deny the fact that a woman would try to control my life. They just tell me to accept it! Fucking insane if you ask me.

teclado_sw · 2018-04-08T06:10:14+00:00

“Just haven’t found the right one” works for me.

Patri_Arky · 2018-04-08T06:23:51+00:00

in my school and collage years

Tell me more about these collage years. Did you have to plan a lot of them out, or did they just all kind of come together?

2018-04-08T05:06:04+00:00

No, not interested. I don't really say more than that.

I know that no matter what, the shit tests start at about 3 weeks for me, and that's always the end right there.

I like your final point, but you just have to recognize that they try to gain power over you, to shame you, etc.

This is what I want and I don't care what anyone says, the end.

ShapedStrandMafia · 2018-04-08T08:21:50+00:00

"just got lucky"

48LawsOfFlour · 2018-04-08T08:22:18+00:00

"Tinder's not working out because I keep getting swipe left and swipe right mixed up."

"You're going to set me up? At least give me a head start!"

"I'm not gay... yet. I just haven't met the right guy."

"My doctor says I'm healthy as a horse. He would know; he's a veterinarian."

Humor is just polite aggression. Agree & Amplify is an easy formula for absurdist humor that shows you don't care about their opinion. If they push past your initial curt "No," then they deserve the topic being laughed off. It's ridiculous when people double down on emotional prying.

And it's more ridiculous when people give in! The negotiation is between "Talk about A" and "Don't talk about A" and then they somehow settle on "Talk about A and B which is even more intimate." Ridiculous.

IntrovertedMagma · 2018-04-08T09:18:04+00:00

Easy : "do you have a girlfriend?" answer: "I am seeing someone.. Nothing serious yet"

lacxeht · 2018-04-08T10:07:39+00:00

"I don't like investing in a depreciating asset" - That makes em think for a minute.

wutaboutthetwinky · 2018-04-08T12:47:19+00:00

Just say, "I don't want drama in my life." Most people will understand. Those who keep bothering you about it, ask them if they want to have sex. They'll stop after that.

2nxj30br · 2018-04-08T13:20:16+00:00

the last one choked on my immense cock always a great answer

bhfanatik · 2018-04-08T15:08:48+00:00

"I have two", "That's a private question", "None of your business"

ShrunkenHed · 2018-04-08T07:44:59+00:00

Just shrug and say "don't want one."

If they pry further, ignore them or tell them to fuck off.

halfahears · 2018-04-08T07:58:22+00:00

I used to tell them that I enjoying pleasing myself.

Freefrombitches123 · 2018-04-08T09:29:15+00:00

I did but she died

Chuneme · 2018-04-08T09:31:43+00:00

"I'm Asexual" normally stops them asking anymore questions.

cryptotim70726 · 2018-04-08T14:22:05+00:00

Your initial impulse to say "Its none of your business" is the correct response. Honesty isn't rude.