Help! A co worked is spreading rumours that I raped her.

agent_of_entropy · 2016-12-13T11:20:42+00:00

There's a reason "You don't shit where you eat" is a saying. This is it.

Taguroizumo · 2016-12-13T11:49:09+00:00

Sorry to say but you may have to consider getting employment elsewhere if the conversation with your ceo does not go well. Even if you are proven "innocent " the silly cow has already trashed your name. Again i am so so sorry.

Playstation_5 · 2016-12-13T11:09:43+00:00

Wow. You have my deepest concerns mate.

This seems to be a horrifically common thing nowadays. The UK papers have a story a day about a false accusation that is thrown out of court or results in an acquittal, with the accuser having no penalty and the accused forever being Googleable with 'charged with rape' coming up as the top result on their name. Of course, being men, there is no campaign to 'stop mens lives being ruined by these accusations'. We just have to put up with the chance that this might happen every time we have sex.

I sincerely hope this gets resolved for you, but your employers will surely back her pending a police investigation. Get a lawyer involved ASAP, both for the accusation and employment law.

ahshittbals · 2016-12-13T12:18:34+00:00

And all those RP alphas are still looking to pick up those damn virgins.. this is a case example why that is a bad idea. Unless you intend on wifeying her up- never take a female virginity. I agree you should probably bite the bullet, date her a while, and try to buy yourself some time to figure out how to get away without going to jail. Maybe you can get her to get bored or annoyed enough to leave you.

hertus · 2016-12-13T12:01:53+00:00

This is a MGTOW's worst nightmare.

Consider getting a lawyer. Once it's over, be careful with women. Coterie MGTOW recommends recording phone conversations with women and always asking a girl you're going to have sex with to sign a sex contract. This is what the world has come to. Be careful. This is why MGTOW is now the only option left.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7Vui76cCCQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTtGv6B4mqo

ploobadoof · 2016-12-13T15:02:16+00:00

Dude: you are fired. There is no solution here. You think the CEO is going to objectively look at this situation? They're only going to be looking after potential legal liabilities that could result. This is an easy potential lawsuit against them costing them millions and.....you're fired, dude. Your job was never salvagable after she started making claims. That couldve been her aim the entire time, to sue the company for a large payout. This is the least of your problems.

What you need to do now is contain this situation. She'll take this beyond the workplace and infect your entire life. Hurt future employment. It sounds like you have good friends in the office that could be used as references. Get a lawyer. And then move on.

Ohboohoolittlegirl · 2016-12-13T12:01:30+00:00

First off. Do not fuck colleagues. Second, her chasing you should have been the biggest red flag ever. Third, you handled that terrible, if she said that she was in love etc, you should have made sure that the let go was better. Make her feel you are worthless etc.. as you already ignored the other red flags, you should have seen this coming. Now. Taking leave for the day makes you seem more guilty... For now, better hope your convo goes well, otherwise you might want to consider leaving. Never fuck colleagues and ALWAYS make sure you have her consent , or take a girl somewhere so people have seen you together, voluntarily.

Triplexrikuu · 2016-12-13T14:09:28+00:00

I don't mean to compound the problem, but it might have been wise to contact a lawyer before sending an email to your CEO. Maybe the thing to do might have been to tell HR that you're aware of what this young woman has been saying around the office, and that you regard it as borderline defamatory. That way, it's the company's duty to shut her down.

Were I you, I would never concede that you even had sex with her. It's none of your employer's business. What IS your employer's business is whether one of its employees is at work, on the job, ostensibly there to earn her pay, but instead rumormongering. In fact, spreading rumors one employee might have committed a crime. The employer has legal exposure if it permits her to continue this stuff. The employer should shut her down.

In short, go on the offensive. Tell HR that she is making you uncomfortable and that her words are defamatory. Your employer is not there to adjudicate whether a rape occurred. It's there to stop undesirable employee behavior, like this girl's spreading of false rumors.

Under no circumstances concede that you ever even touched her. If you're asked that question, insist that it is not relevant. Make the case that you have been and remain a model employer and you're just trying to get your work done, but denying these false rumors is really cutting down on your productivity.

You can win this. Be aggressive and deny even the relevance of any question regarding what occurred between you. Always bring the focus back to her behavior at work. Destroy her. Act as if you're on the verge of engaging a lawyer to sue on the basis of a hostile work environment. What employer would allow someone to walk around spreading rumors that a good employee like you has committed a felony?

You're the wronged party here. Act like it.

sadbasturd99 · 2016-12-13T13:08:56+00:00

She wasn't a virgin lol.
All the women in the office hate her and want to fuck you now. They appear to be taking her side but its basically a shit test.
Do not talk about it with the CEO. Tell him the meeting was an accidental invite lol, do whatever you have to do.
When anyone at work gets in your face about who you fuck after work, you tell them its none of their business and get a life.

paperlion60 · 2016-12-13T11:25:27+00:00

The only way you can stop this, if it's not too late is to try and get with her again. You have to record your time with her. Dude I don't know why you are copulating with women at work.

AverageRedditer22 · 2016-12-13T11:21:55+00:00

You need to immediately warm to her big time. Date her for a couple of months. Treat her like a princess. Then do the "it's not working out" talk.

This is a psycho. Antagonizing her won't work. But if you date her for a while, at least it won't seem non-consensual.

ElectricGhostD · 2016-12-13T14:18:27+00:00

No sympathy. If you are a regular here you should have known better. You fucked up. Look for another job.

Goateeki · 2016-12-13T19:16:11+00:00

You have to understand, I'm a lawyer who's done a fair amount of criminal defense work. I don't don't represent people in employment law matters, but I've sued a lot of people and defended a lot of people.

This is what I think. I think that you (or the original poster, I'm not certain you're the same) are minding your business and doing your work. You have a co-worker who is walking around essentially accusing you of committing a felony. An employer, at least in the US, would not permit that any day of the week, but DEFINITELY would not permit a hostile work environment to develop, an environment in which one worker is placing a coworker in the position of defending himself from baseless accusations. Depending on the level of her behavior, a US worker could successfully sue an employer for letting this woman's behavior continue. It's distracting from your ability to do work, no?

Whether or not consent was present is not relevant to your employment situation unless you had sex at work or at a company event. If a rape occurred -- and one did not -- at a company event, then the company has some legal exposure there and they'd probably want to cut ties with you. But that didn't happen, as I understand it.

So whether consent was present, and even whether you touched her, is irrelevant to the employer (provided that what i say in the preceding graf is accurate). An employer can be sued for asking employees about their sex lives.

If your employer asks "what happened," my answer would be, "as I understand it, she is saying that I raped her. This is untrue." If you're asked what it's based on, continue to say "i have no idea what it could be based on, but she is walking around defaming me before my coworkers and detracting from my ability to do my job." If you really want to make clear what a problem she is, and probably will continue to be, make clear that her rumor mongering has caused a false idea to spread among female workers (or just coworkers) and it's beginning to affect not just you, but larger parts of the organization.

Insist that she be dealt with. Don't let her win. I hate the idea of victimhood, and she's not a victim. She is trying to make one of you, however, and you should put a stop to it immediately.

If your employer continues to ask "what happened" continue to say "I can't see how that's the company's business. If you can explain to me how an employer can legally ask for details of what this woman alleges is a personal sexual matter, that's something I can ask my lawyer to answer for you. But as it happens, there is no allegation that anything between her and I occurred on company property, on company time, or at a company function. The only connection to the company this has is her spreading lies about me on company time, on the company premises. And it's affecting my performance. Wouldn't such a thing affect yours?"

Do not be a supplicant. Do not allow this to get down into the weeds. Do not explain. Insist that the company take action to curb the behavior of a problem employee, this crazy young woman.

Women like this get shitcanned all the time. For all you know, the company might be looking for a reason to get rid of her. Don't let her win.

For god's sake, this is woman who walks into the office in the morning and talks about her sex life. She's nuts. I've never done that Inn my entire career, ever. Not once. She should be let go immediately. This shows you just how pernicious women can be.

eyebrowcombover · 2016-12-13T16:15:11+00:00

For the love of god, if you are thinking she is going to claim rape do not schedule a meeting with your CEO and admit that you slept with her. Get A LAWYER ASAP, this isn't about your job, its now about your freedom.

cheaperautoinsurance · 2016-12-13T17:59:54+00:00

I have sent an email to my supervisor and director and CEO of our company to schedule a meeting at 9am tomorrow to resolve this immediately.

Big fuckup there. Now you dragged the company into it. They will be FORCED to act since if they ignore it, they could be liable. I'd fire you immediately if I was manager. Not because you are guilty, but because you forced my hand and company needs to be protected.

hertus · 2016-12-13T12:27:57+00:00

One option is to be her girlfriend and then suddenly act like a really nice guy and then she will dump you.

geocitiesuser · 2016-12-13T19:22:04+00:00

For all men who come here: Let this be a lesson to NEVER have relationships with hens in the workplace.

Good luck OP

strudel- · 2016-12-13T12:15:31+00:00

Yep, that's why we used to have things like chastity belts. Virginity is associated with the most extreme pair bonding, it's what maintains monogamy. It's women giving up their virginity so easily that leads to feminism. A woman can hate a man, but once he takes her virginity she will love him.

boogalooshrimp1103 · 2016-12-13T12:33:33+00:00

possibly get your resume together. secondly use this as a learning experience. you dont fuck co workers

angryomlette · 2016-12-13T12:39:19+00:00

If you have saved the chat, Make sure you present a copy to your higher ups and to your friends. Even though you are at the receiving end of this rape charge, they will still doubt you. Even with evidences, there will be white knights who will disbelieve you.

Best thing would be to collect all details that show sex was consensual and present it with out loosing your frame of mind. Also be sure to lawyer up.

pooshhMao · 2016-12-13T13:04:24+00:00

"YOU DEVALUATED ME"

metaqaulone · 2016-12-13T14:19:17+00:00

1 day a man has everything, next day he plays chad at work. the next day he loses everything, there's a lesson in there somewhere.

Dude lawyer up you need professional advice and forget about the meeting with the ceo, you're possibly just gonna incriminating yourself further. Good Luck. Trust no one at the office remember you're the villian now.

cheaperautoinsurance · 2016-12-13T19:59:41+00:00

PROTIP: When there is criminal allegation against you (formal or informal) you SHUT THE FUCK UP. Anything you say WILL be used against you. You only speak with a lawyer after an action has occurred against you. Everyone wants to go on the offensive, but the smart approach is defensive. Let them build a case against you. Play the victim. You are being victimized by the false allegations and they have cost you your job and work reputation. That's a case that can be won (let the lawyer make the case and present the facts, not you). You suing people out of the blue or talking up shit with meetings is conspiracy level shit that people will think you are crazy. Crazy people get fucked by the judicial system and the corporate system.

MaunaLoona · 2016-12-13T11:46:53+00:00

Wish you luck. Keep us updated.

BukM1 · 2016-12-13T13:23:19+00:00

personally i would go on the war path and demand some action be taken, as they will think if he was "innocent" he would be angry, so if you are not angry they might suspect there is truth to the rumour.

wildfireboat · 2016-12-13T14:26:39+00:00

Take time off and consult with a lawyer. Lawyer first, reddit later.

soullessgeth · 2016-12-13T15:17:38+00:00

fucking women, they are "empowered" to be manipulative passive aggressive liars

bonusfruit · 2016-12-13T16:35:45+00:00

The reason why we beat the same old drums about women being untrustworthy is because there are no solutions once you're targeted. The only medicine is the preventative kind. I'd never touch a female employee let alone be alone with one

digdig66 · 2016-12-13T17:36:36+00:00

This should be stickied as the perfect "What not to do, and if you do this will happen" scenario.

exit-stage-right2 · 2016-12-13T17:54:02+00:00

Unfortunately, the act wasn't filmed and no witnesses were in the bedroom. It's your word against hers. She is pissed her first time wasn't with a soul mate and wants it back. Society is fucked up. The worst part, is that the company just wants the issue gone from view, so getting rid of you might be their simplest solution. As lame as it sounds, you almost need to write up a consent form that states you will have sex and go your separate ways after, then both sign and date it with two witnesses and a lawyer signing it. Kinda screws the heat of the moment opportunities. Your career is your life, don't fuck with it. Even then she can still claim she changed her mind and you forced her, so the only iron clad method is to have your lawyer and her lawyer witnessing the sex act.

gods_bones · 2016-12-13T18:10:14+00:00

My situation was a little different, as I am gay and this was a female housemate who accused me of rape when I apparently burshed up against her to get to my room. My solution was to go to the magistrates court and report her. I got a vourt date immediately, and the police came to the door to issue her a subpoena to appear before the judge. She burst out crying when she found out shit was getting real. Next I got every housemate to speak to her in private about the "rape" and every single time she reiterated the story the details were different. I also waited outside recording 3ach conversation (I dont recommend this as it is probably illegal. I didnt end up using or needing the recordings in the end)

Finally, on the court date I ahowed up on time while she didnt bother, meaning I immediately had the case turned in my favor. That same day the dumb bitch had a black mark put on her record, and I was awarded with a restraining order which still carries to this say, which meant she was forced to move out of the house. She spent her final week there begging random men from Craigslist she invited to her for sex to take her in.

Kafir_Al-Amriki · 2016-12-13T18:11:24+00:00

You done goofed. Next time you want to fuck a girl from work, don't! If you absolutely must, you might want to find a new job first, and then quit before doing the deed.

One out of a thousand people might be able to pull it off, but with those odds, why even bother.

Start polishing up your resume, or saving money to put in your commissary.

IgnotusPeverill · 2016-12-13T18:37:17+00:00

The only I could recommend is that you file a hostile work environment complaint against her because that is what she is creating. I think talking to anything more than your supervisor and then HR is out of line though.

themanbat · 2016-12-14T06:24:10+00:00

Allow me to impart a valuable piece of advice. Anyone worth fucking is worth fucking thrice. When you hit it and quit it, a girl often ends up feeling cheap. And in her mind she cant be cheap. Shes a good person! If she feels bad about herself, it must be because you did something bad. You seduced her. Then you took unfair advantage. Then bam. You're a rapist. And she was just an innocent victim of an evil man.

So the anwser is not to have one night stands. Sex em up at least three times. Text them about how great it was and how you can't wait to do it again. This gives you a written record and her a hot fling/little summer romance as opposed to a cheap one and done.

It's probably too late for you to do this, but maybe not. Have you two argued yet? Burned your bridges? Seriously. If not text her and say you're really confused. You got scared when she said she loved you, but you can stop thinking about her. You didn't think you wanted a relationship right now, but now you don't know. You want her again. And again.

If you can go out with her a few more times, you will make her feel better about what happened, and make any gossip about untoward behavior completely ridiculous.

What this girl has done is completely wrong. But she's doing it because she's hurt and too immature to handle her emotions. This honestly might work in your favor, because shes obviously fixated on you, and probably genuinely wants to go out with you again. If I were you, I'd ease her pain, cover your ass and date her for a little bit. Of course if I were you I wouldn't have tapped her and sent her packing right away to begin with.

Anyone worth fucking is worth fucking thrice. Words to live by.

BreachLAN-gemini · 2016-12-13T18:22:17+00:00

Get a lawyer. Ask your lawyer if it is possible to immediately launch a slander suit against her.

TheMungusOfHugh · 2016-12-13T13:47:04+00:00

Ah the old regret/rape scenario. Personally I'd call her out in a place where your co workers will hear the conversation and ask her why she is spreading rumors of rape when the entire thing was consensual and was explained to her it was a one off (only has to be 4 or 5 male/female colleagues, gossip will do the rest).
Call her on her shit in public, it's the only way you are going to clear your name otherwise the rumor will become more concrete.

Mgtoway · 2016-12-13T13:51:20+00:00

I'm not going to sugarcoat this for you: you are fucked, find a new job asap. The employer won't care if you are innocent or not, they will not want to touch this, or you, with a ten foot pole for legal reasons. Learn from this and move on. Women are useless vindictive cunts, yes, but this was all preventable by you bud. Not fair, but its the shitty reality we live in. Live and learn brother.

2016-12-13T13:57:02+00:00

Try /r/legaladvice on this one.

And I would lawyer up immediately. Cease contact with this individual.

chronoic · 2016-12-13T15:51:04+00:00

Now you know the meaning of "never fuck with crazy"

PolishHammerMK · 2016-12-13T16:00:09+00:00

If you have any text messages affirming her consent now is the time to publicly release them.

2016-12-13T17:48:37+00:00

why didnt you just continue pounding her. she can continue to think she loves you and u get to fuck her. lol.

frikabg · 2016-12-13T19:13:42+00:00

Rule N 1 - NEVER PUT YOUR DICK IN CRAZY! you just broke that rule >.<

amcynic · 2016-12-13T19:57:24+00:00

I feel bad for you but you were a moron to get involved with a colleague. Start looking for another job.

Jonlife · 2016-12-14T03:23:01+00:00

Holy shit you're fucked

Edit: this is crazy. Dude has to lawyer up, plan a fucking battle plan, and prepare for all the flack he's about to get. If this chick doesn't get what she wants she'll take this to the public forum, social media, Yellow journalism....

Herpnderp145 · 2016-12-14T05:01:00+00:00

Lawyer up, save all texts and communication, don't say a word to her and try to go about your day at works as normal as possible.

nametaken666 · 2016-12-14T06:35:40+00:00

This is what happens when you think with your dick...

Thwartthis · 2016-12-13T23:00:22+00:00

Lawyer up, like yesterday. Take him to that meeting with you.

SpaceWizardFour20 · 2016-12-14T17:55:11+00:00

Some girl I was interested heard rumors from her friends that I was just waiting to slip a date-rape pill in her drink at the concert we went to. I never even thought of it and yet afterwards she still accused be of being a date-rapist. Whoever her "friends" were were clearly spreading fallacies about me to ruin my chances with her. Being accused of rape is never fun, especially when you've never even seen a real girl naked.

knightwhosaysneet · 2016-12-13T16:23:00+00:00

"I slept with a girl from work at our work Christmas party."

Should have read the sidebar material or listened to pretty much everyone on here. You don't fucking shit where you eat, dumbass.

You get no sympathies from me. Enjoy jail.

Wraeclast_Exile · 2016-12-13T18:57:04+00:00

Don't ever bang chicks from work if they aren't mentally checking out - which includes virgins.

I think getting it taken care of right away is very important. Have a conversation with her face to face, too.. see if you can get her to mature up.

Title	Help! A co worked is spreading rumours that I raped her.
Author	ahshittbals
Upvotes	80
Comments	114
Date	December 13, 2016 10:59 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/5i300g/help_a_co_worked_is_spreading_rumours_that_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/help-a-co-worked-is-spreading-rumours-that-i-raped.618124 https://theredarchive.com/post/618124

Comments

Lawyer up, like yesterday. Take him to that meeting with you.