Cycle

MajIssuesCaptObvious · 2020-10-24T09:52:59+00:00

I have a friend on his 3rd wife.... "this time it will be better"

CoolDEpot · 2020-10-24T11:35:26+00:00

MGTOW is the ''red pill'' not the ''black pill'', once you take the ''red pill'' you dont start the cycle again aka ''blue pill'' and ''lost in despair'' would be the ''black pill'' wich shouldnt happen if you go your way because everything is profit when you walk away from women they dont bring anything to the table its just a carrot on a stick.

H_shiteru · 2020-10-24T09:40:38+00:00

Women leave men eventually. I don't believe in true love in a woman.

whyserenity · 2020-10-24T13:00:48+00:00

Validation can only come from within. Nothing in the universe can make you feel right if you do not love yourself first.

Solo_and_Simple · 2020-10-24T13:21:23+00:00

Yeah, there's truth to that. The lack of empathy as a child does lead to a "hole" that you want to fill with something external. Subconsciously, it feels like if we can find a woman who really understands (empathizes with) and loves us for who we are, that hole will go away.

But it doesn't. First because no women offer that sort of understanding and love on a consistent basis -- or very few, at any rate, and those very few have been snatched up a long time ago.

Second because it's an external solution to an internal problem, and those don't work. You end up dependent on the external supply and always needing more. I've heard it likened to a bucket with a hole in the bottom. You keep trying to fill it, and it keeps emptying, so you always need more. It becomes like an addiction or a dependency.

As Warren Farrell said, "There is nothing more addictive than a beautiful woman." She can look and feel like the answer to the underlying problem. But she's not. She's just a patch or a bandaid. It never works.

Alpha0megaAtoZ · 2020-10-24T13:30:14+00:00

This doesn't sound like MGTOW. (Trying not to break "Negativity" rule)

How I read it: I need affection from women to feel complete. I'll keep going back for more after I get dumped on.

Comprehensive_Pin_49 · 2020-10-24T17:23:31+00:00

I've read child psychologists note most severely abused young children, after being placed in foster care, still cry-out for their abusive parents for years.

Under heavy supervision from guardian adults, the abused children are allowed to visit biological parents in prison. It benefits the abused child, long-term, the studies say.

I'll go on "dates," but never sign a marriage contract. I lived full-time with a woman just once. She immediately played games with sex and acted like I was going to weasel out paying my half of the rent. This after paying for every date and dinner for three years. It was truly pathetic and I moved-out 60 days later.

It's a headache to baby-sit, 24/7.

krazyrobus1 · 2020-10-24T14:57:11+00:00

Never been married, had a great childhood, just mgtow because I prefer my own company and relationships are just exhausting mentally, physically, monetarily etc

XGHOW · 2020-10-24T16:56:23+00:00

Not all MGTOW are broken children in men's bodies. My childhood was fine and I didn't seek validation from women to make me whole. I'm just a guy who enjoys his life without a lot of time to put into a committed relationship.

GmanRaz · 2020-10-24T13:10:22+00:00

That's why you never marry or ever cohab in an area that recognizes common law marriage. Then even if she leaves its nbd. She takes nothing.

gjaz · 2020-10-24T13:41:28+00:00

I'm quite happy being alone, and have been for the past few years.

That cycle may be true for most men, but I doubt it's true with most MGTOW.

cleats4u · 2020-10-24T13:47:55+00:00

A line from the movie "Cool Hand Luke"...Some men can't be reached. They won't stop until they are under a bridge or in their mothers basement. A female addiction is no different than a drug addiction. Both leave you broke and alone.

2020-10-24T13:58:07+00:00

You’ll never have a healthy relationship if your self esteem completely relies on the other person. It needs to come from within to say you don’t want to be with anyone unless they bring happiness to you every day

-Siptah · 2020-10-24T15:18:15+00:00

Although I never really intended to get married, I realized simply dating women has had the same effect on me. Marriage would be a death sentence.

DL505 · 2020-10-24T14:45:38+00:00

Not validation. It is unconditional love.

Males are the gender that most display this innate drive for love.

Women seek attention. They often talk about the "spark" leaving a relationship. They need constant new attention. Women think attention is love, and it is not.

Hence the reason why dogs are called MANS best friend. They give love unconditionally.

VestigialHead · 2020-10-24T21:18:31+00:00

Huh? If a man goes MGTOW why would he start this cycle again?

MGTOW is breaking this cycle and realising it does not work.

XGHOW · 2020-10-24T21:30:49+00:00

The first point I think is one very often overlooked. Men get very early validation from their mother, and often this is not something that is for the child’s sake, but rather for the mother’s ego. This will usually last a lifetime, and set the child on a path to constantly seek the same validation patterns from women that don’t necessarily benefit the man directly, but benefit his derived sense of self that is dependent on the attention and validation from the opposite sex. Often, and predictably, the women that he seeks relationships later in life give validation for the same behaviors that the mother wanted from him. This is not surprising- AWAW (all women are women).

Now, there is an argument to be made that this is certainly one of the reasons why we are so advanced as a species; as MGTOW, we must not cave to bitterness and only consider the downside of this validation. But I’d encourage us all- especially since we are on the MGTOW2 sub- to also take note of the types of validation that has encouraged us to be stronger, healthier, and wiser; these too often come from early validation from the mother.

I’ll give you an example. In my own life, my mother gave my a tremendous amount of validation for my individuality. This has resulted in incredible things in my life, and also some of the most traumatizing moments. There were many points in my childhood where I might have been considered a social outcast. But when I was in these states, I did not suffer from them, but instead used these moments to nurture my individuality. This has been a very tough pill to swallow, to sort out the cognitive dissonance, and realize that for as much pain as hyper-individualism has caused me, it is only the reason where I am now, with the skills, the perspective, and the outlook that I produce. I was very angry at my mother for a long period of time. But because she has put in a tremendous effort to repair any holes in the relationship, it’s allowed me the space to also realize the bright side of her validation. Even the darker side of the behaviors that her validation caused, I am in a constant process to turn them to strengths, to work on them, and to make them meaningful.

Thanks for the post. I hope not too many of us have to go through the latter steps you listed, but if you do, I’d encourage you to look deep into the validation and realize the good and the bad of what it has made you, and use it to your advantage.

Edit: I misread the post; the post talks of not* getting validation from the mother, and yes, this is tremendously detrimental to a child’s psychology when they should be getting validation for good behavior, ideally behavior that is for the sake of the child.

Unfortunately, the result of this might be even harder to overcome, because often this results in a loop of terrible behavior that is shallow and only for the ego-driven ‘needs’ of the man, and the wants of the woman he is trying to impress. This is where I’d encourage a total unplugging, ‘monk mode in the forest of an undeveloped country’, type of approach, to rewrite yourself in a way that the only validation you need is th evaporation that nature gives you for merely surviving. Build from there, and develop an internal locus of control; this can then be built upon into a sense of self-respect, and then finally to self-validation, which will put you on a path to connecting with other quality people who validate you for the right reasons.

sevensliders · 2020-10-24T22:05:07+00:00

I'm not full MGTOW and I realize that the philosophy isn't black pill. It's recognizing how such a vicious cycle goes and breaking free from it.

The cycle only repeats because the man puts stock and relies on hope that the next relationship will be better. Don't hope, don't put stock on other people not disappointing/failing you and just proceed to plan accordingly.

turtlesooup · 2020-10-24T14:50:38+00:00

Mgtow do not need validation from anyone, specially not a female since someone who has no other value than sex can't possibly count.

GrandpaLeiho · 2020-10-24T18:50:59+00:00

would have been dope if I didn't lose all my friends to "wanting to have sex with their wife".

Darkmaster85845 · 2020-10-25T10:25:15+00:00

Step 4: Man lost in despair starts cycle again.

There, fixed it for you.

MGTOW men don't start the cycle again.

plamplamthrow0321 · 2020-10-26T05:05:21+00:00

I guess for me its like i started at 1 and went directly to 4.

Membrudo · 2020-10-24T09:52:15+00:00

Does he go MGTOW for being lost in despair or he loses in despair for going MGTOW?

qemist · 2020-10-24T09:36:05+00:00

Choose first woman well then keep her.

GalacticBisquick · 2020-10-24T10:27:06+00:00

I really don’t see why men are separating themselves from women. Say what you want but there are women that will support your life goals and such. You just need to find the right ones.

GalacticBisquick · 2020-10-24T10:26:57+00:00

I really don’t see why men are separating themselves from women. Say what you want but there are women that will support your life goals and such. You just need to find the right ones.

GalacticBisquick · 2020-10-24T10:27:34+00:00

I don’t understand why men are separating themselves from women.

Title	Cycle
Author	TalkaboutJoudy
Upvotes	1
Comments	84
Date	October 24, 2020 9:22 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/jh60t2/cycle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/cycle.804659 https://theredarchive.com/post/804659

Comments