I feel like I won’t amount to anything...I don’t feel like a man.

I’m 18/m. About 6 months ago I ended a relationship with my girlfriend. Long story short her family was crazy and she constantly depended on me and used me to feel secure.

She started dating someone, whom she often spoke about while we were dating, in just 2 weeks after we split . I spoke to her over the phone during the summer and she told me how this new guy is so much better than me and that he has done more her her in just 2 months than I did in 8. I spent so much money on gifts for her and I had to put up with her crazy brother who slandered my name at my old job and consistently spoke ill of me. I’ve had numerous people tell me that he told them to spread lies about me and asked people to give me a hard time.

I took her out when I could but having a part time job and being in highschool it makes it hard. She never appreciated anything I did, she just expected me to do things. She wanted to be showered in love and attention and I’m not the person who does that stuff.

I struggle a lot with my confidence and self worth. I’m a 5’3-5’4 male. I’m 18 so I probably won’t be getting any taller. I feel worthless. She torpedoed my self confidence by telling me her new bf is sooo much better than me. I want to feel like a man. I’m the most grounded and realest person I know and I hate being this height I feel like a child.

Since she said that to me I’ve been living full throttle. I sought out a financial advisor and have him 3,000 bucks to invest for me. I have a Roth IRA and a retirement plan already. It was a nice confidence booster to talk with him. He told me that he was so impressed with me that even if I decided to not invest my money with him I still made his entire year. He told me that he’s never had the privilege of talking to someone so young, intelligent, and well composed. He’s not even charging me, he wants to see my money grow.

Aside from that, I have my own truck now. My dad gave me his old Tacoma as a senior gift so I’m very happy about that. My dad also works at a local college so I get to attend school tuition free. I’m extremely grateful for the opportunity and I sometimes feel spoiled about it but it’s an opportunity I can’t pass up.

I’ve been trying to get in shape aswell. All summer I’ve been on a running routine and I try to lift weights when I can. I’ve completely changed my style and vocabulary too. I wear nice clothes and I never leave the house with a wrinkled shirt. I’ve also been trying to improve my social skills. I work as a cashier at Walmart and I always try to talk to people when they come through my line. When I first started I couldn’t talk to anyone but now I can have a conversation about anything with anyone.

As far as women go I’d like to meet someone in college. I don’t want to date anyone my senior year it’s not worth it. I’m hoping I can meet someone I really connect with. I don’t want to end up being an incel. I’m really trying to make an honest effort to become a better man. I just feel weak. She really messed with my head. I’ve been trying to figure out why he’s better than me. It’s the first thing I think about when I wake up and it’s the last thing I think about before bed.

Dr. Jordan Peterson really saved me. I was in a really messed up state of mind after the breakup and after the call I had with her. He really pulled me out of a funk. I religiously watch his lectures and I’m currently reading his book. I just don’t want this to be a waste. I don’t want to end up being someone that nobody wants around or that nobody respects.