I’m still a beginner.

Not a Red Pill Rambo 2nd week “Noob”, but still very new to serious self-improvement. I’m sure this post could be seen as validation seeking, but really it’s to help guys that are in the very, very early stages….like I was a few months ago.

I’ve been reading/lifting/changing diet/getting new clothes/ focusing on me etc…etc..for 3 months or so. I’ve seen improvements in pretty much every aspect of my life. Work is better. My home life is better. I’m in the best shape I’ve been in since I was 20 years younger. I’ve reconnected to my interests. I’ve taken leadership roles in fucked up situations and made real differences in peoples lives. I feel like things are really moving forward in the best possible way. And the only reason ANY of this happened was that I just FOCUSED on self-improvement

MRP attracts guys looking for ways to “get their wife to fuck them”. It won’t work. Abandon that thinking immediately. FOCUS on SELF IMPROVEMENT. It really is that simple. If you are checking over your shoulder constantly to see how your wife reacts to every little thing you do or say, she will smell that weakness 100 miles away. ANYWAY This has all been covered over and over, but I mention it to frame the rest of my story…

So there I was, FINALLY focusing on me. And as I said, things had improved in all areas….EXCEPT SEX. Frequency was still abysmal, but when it did happen I could tell she was more into it. All in all, still pretty pathetic. But I wasn’t really worried about it, and honestly I’m too goddamn busy doing other shit to devote energy into chasing my wife’s attention. Sure, I’m a dude so I get horny ..but a “tension release” session tends to do the trick for a few days. So SOMEHOW I find myself well and truly arriving at a place of OI. NICE! So THAT’S what it feels like!

Then something started changing, Saturday night she initiated out of nowhere. I couldn’t even tell you the last time that happened. At first I didn’t think too much about it, it had been almost a month since we had fucked and it was fun. I just figured she was horny and wanted to scratch the itch. Next day,.. I’m back at it… Up early for an 8 mile hike by myself. Things are “back to normal”….or so I thought.

Last night she tells me that she had a nightmare that I was fucking someone else…and that it really upset her. I have two sets of friends divorcing right now and I could see that she was really wanting me to give her a gallon of beta reassurance sauce. I tell ya, the squeaky little Beta in me was SCREAMING to say something. Just FREAKING out that I needed to reassure her and tell her that “she was the only one for me” or some other horseshit. But I didn’t to that bitch. It kind of disappointed me that my gut reaction was to “talk” to her, but I was able to resist easily and was over it quickly.

I just gave her a big hug and kissed her on the forehead. The only thing I said was “I’m sorry you had a bad dream”. I treated it like she was a little girl having a dream about the monster in her closet. Then I made some stupid joke and moved on. She was pretty chatty the rest of the night. She sent some pretty clear sexy time signals later and we ended up having sex. Now THIS was unusual!. A week night AND twice in less than a week! AND it was her initiating! NICE!...Buuuuut. I’m still getting up a 4am to go to the gym. In other words, the train ain’t stoppin’. 3 months ago my wife initiating 2 times in three days would have been unthinkable. It’s cool that I got laid twice in three days, but not as cool as the hike I’m planning for Sunday. I can tell I'm on the right path because of how UNIMPRESSED I am with my "success" in the bedroom. THAT is the real success. In the beginning I thought this was about getting laid more, but it's not at all. Increased sexual desire from the wife is a SIDE EFFECT of self-improvement. NOT A GOAL. It's not even the best side effect.

I’ve started to see the first REAL glimpse of what MRP promises (as it relates to sexual strategy that is). But that promise has become less and less important to me. Planning a trip down the Ozark Highland Trail is WAY more exciting than getting my dick wet has EVER been.

NOW is the time for me to double my efforts at the gym. NOW is the time for me to plan cool shit for the future. NOW is the time for me to focus EVEN MORE on self-improvement.

I’ve been “red pilling” for a few months now. But in some ways I honestly feel like this is day one. Like all the work up to here, was just lacing up my gloves and putting on gym shorts. It’s time to get in the fucking ring.

So the big picture stuff I want to express to the TOTAL beginners. Focus on YOU. NOT her reaction to you. What you are doing could be working on her without you even knowing it’s working. BUT THAT'S TOTALLY NOT THE POINT. The point is.. are YOU seeing improvement in YOURSELF? Are you making goals FOR YOURSELF? Are you making plans FOR YOURSELF?

Again, I’m just restating stuff that has been said over and over in here. But I think it’s a fundamental misunderstanding that a lot of the new guys have, I sure as hell did. It's worth repeating and it's also a good "True North" for anyone that might feel like they are spinning their wheels.

When I first started it used to piss me off that the answer to every question was “LIFT, READ THE SIDEBAR”. I think that’s MOSTLY true, but I would add that you will fail and fail and fail until you focus on self-improvement. Again, sexual desire from the wife or girlfriend or hot chick at the bank is a side effect, not a goal.

Thanks for reading, and thanks to all the guys that kicked my ass in the very early days. I still have a long way to go and a lot to learn.