[FR] Went Rambo

Sepean · 2017-03-30T07:36:15+00:00

Alright, look. First of all, you're not going red pill rambo. The guys who go rambo get angry, think their wife is a bitch and yell at her for not respecting him (when he's not worthy of respect yet), or go out and drool over other women and think they're playing dread when they're really low SMV chumps.

What you are is motivated to get this ball rolling. And that's good. Lift, read, handle your shit, improve. That's good.

But your problem is you're so hungry for validation that you have to tell your wife about all this shit so you can get a pat on the back. Hopefully there will come a day when you're doing this shit for you, but right now you have to STFU. Don't talk about your plans, how awesome you're going to be, it's fucking ridiculous. It's like the fat fuck at work who's always blabbing about how this new diet will be the one that changes her life. It's not just that no one cares, it's that people think you're never going to do it and for some reason you think they should validate you for your intentions. No one gives a fuck about what you want, they care what you are. Lifting and dieting, no one cares. Your hard work, no one cares. One day you'll look awesome, and that's when you'll reap the rewards. Until then, STFU about it and all the other parts of your improvement plan.

"You know how I feel about you and our family, if you want to be apart of that then take the steps to be and if not take the steps out."

Don't go there. You're going to be dialling down the beta and your alpha isn't there to pick up the slack yet. She's not going to be chasing you for several months, and until then she's going to be wobbling all over the place. This shit is not binary - there's a lot of ground between working for your relationship and leaving, and she's going to be darting around those extremes in the future. You'll see her treat you the worst she's ever done, and the best, and everything in between. Let her emotional pendulum swing back and forth instead of making an issue out of it.

"If you are going to leave then I'm not going to cry, beg, or plead you to stay anymore."

STFU. Don't talk about what you're going to do. When she's threatening to leave, then don't cry, beg or plead.

Also told her it was shitty of her to want to jump ship after one fight after all the hard work we've both put into rebuilding our marriage.

You can't shame her into behaving. She's going to be slinging shit tests about leaving at you; handle them like shit tests instead of taking them seriously. She's not serious. It's not some plan she's made, she's just going on feefees, like when your kid says he hates his life because he couldn't have that new toy.

The take home message here is: don't listen to what she says. It's all bullshit, and taking her words at face value is failing the shit test and entering her frame. The only reason to listen to her words is for something to hook a clever A&A on, but you're not there yet. For now, just STFU. Smirk, maybe laugh - not condescending, but like you'd do with your kids when they do something silly. And it'll get worse before it gets better: right know she's subtly letting you see she didn't have her ring on, soon she'll be calling you an asshole. You still just STFU and smirk.

Lift, diet, read, handle your shit. Don't tell your wife anything about your plans, don't give her ultimatums, don't argue with her about what she said or what you did, don't go playing dread. Just improve, and post here when you're ready for the next steps.

Don't worry about having fucked anything up, you haven't. It doesn't matter. What matters is the man you are in 6 or 12 months. Once you're ripped and your frame is rocksolid, she won't give a fuck about how you bawled as a beta or shared your gym plans or whatever.

weakandsensitive · 2017-03-30T07:41:47+00:00

Doing things for 1 day doesn't mean jack shit. It's not even close to being habitual.

No smart person is going to believe you. All the smart money is betting against you because the reality is your follow through most likely sucks.

So in summary - you talked a lot, you acted like a retard, and you threw a shit bomb all over your house. Congratulations.

But hey - feel free to pat yourself on the back for being a new man now. I love faggots like you who half ass 1 day and think their entire world is changed, who come here looking for hugs from your male support group. It serves to remind me that most men are weak willed faggots continually looking for external validation and that my competition is absolutely fucking pathetic.

Necroptotic · 2017-03-30T02:48:56+00:00

You're kind of all over the place so it's important to relax a bit. It's a long journey you are in and you'll stumble a lot, but just keep pushing.

As for right now, consider this advice: act like everything is completely normal and don't address any of this with the wife. STFU about the process, don't explain anything or make grand statements. If she asks about all the stuff you said, just reply that you were in a great mood and then change the subject.

At some point you could send a statement text like "bringing home dinner" or whatever equivalent for you. Playing chicken with text messages puts the ball in their court at some level, which is the opposite of what this is all about.

stonepimpletilists · 2017-03-30T13:47:56+00:00

Can you blame her? You're all over the map.

Also, you're treating this like a battle, and she is the opponent. The only enemy here is yourself, and the self sabotage you have peppered throughout.

Jesus christ. You're working so hard to convince yourself that you're not being a big pussy here, yet still everything from her POV, it's in your language

fucking nailed dinner and housework and was feeling like a fucking boss. Dinner and house work are normal for me to do but I was seriously on point went above and beyond and for the first time

This reads like you're still doing it to her standard. +1. This is about having pride in your home, it builds the self confidence when you hold her to task.

Beta me would greet her at the door ... Kept my cool through dinner starting to feel out my frame, then bam. Started talking, didn't STFU.

You didn't do anything, or else you wouldn't have blown up after a 15 minute meal. The only success here is that you knew you were doing it.

Fucking rolled into how I'm becoming a new man, getting my balls back ect.

The ~~king~~ is dead, long live the ~~king~~. or; New management, same as old.

To sum up, you see this as a huge success, this is a huge failure, and you've half picked up on why.

You can tell when you're talking too much about your feelings, except you make no attempt to salvage your dignity. Next time, when you catch it, say 'never mind, I'm being a faggot right now' and then just stop.

I mean stop, not stop, and then bitch 15 minutes later. I mean stop. If you cannot help yourself leave. It's better to be thought of as a faggot who left the house in a rage, than to be the giant pussy crying in the house.

As for your texting, leave the fucking phone at home if you have to. Leave it on silent, text on specific times, e.g. once at lunch hour, once before you go home. Like weening a big fat baby off his bottle, you increase the time between use a little each day, until eventually he isn't a fat fuck baby anymore.

Also, stop engaging her drama. You have this weird fucking need to call out everything you see, as if you are fucking clever for noticing she lies like shit. Of course, once she gives you another shitty lie to cover, you accept that wholeheartedly, as if all you wanted was a 'hey, you're really clever there colombo! want a blowjob?' from her.

If you must (and I mean absolutely must) get ass deep in her frame by doing this, at least be fucking funny, or at least clever. "I've been trying to remove the tan line from my hand on the ring finger, how did you do it?" and sit there with a big fucking smile on your face.

You won't be less of a faggot, but at least you can both laugh, a step up from two children pretending to be adults and scolding each other.

She didn't want to jump ship, or she would be all over her 'man in waiting'. Girls don't leave and then figure out next steps. they STFU, work on their next relationship, and then pull the pin when they have everything lined up... It's a solid plan, which is EXACTLY why we suggest guys do the same here. And your guilt trip afterwards does you no favours.

So to summarize your FR:

I am a giant faggot who needs mommy to hug me
I went to the gym once
I then went home and choreplayed like a mother fucker! I'm the man!
I didn't want validation, see! See! I DONT WANT VALIDATION!
I stopped being a bitch for about 15 minutes, because I was busy shoving food in my face, so I couldn't talk
I was acting like a manic asshole! This is what RP feels like?
She called me a crazy meth head, I told her I feel great, this is why I am cleaning!
Then I cried, and said my goodbyes, like tomorrow was the battle of Mordor
Then I ignored her for about 10 min longer
Then we fought
And she took off her ring as a shitty comfort test. This seemed like a perfect time for a guilt trip!

Did I do it right guise?

Dude, slow down.

Start with not being a fuck, then worry about your relationship

bogeyd6 · 2017-03-30T10:18:30+00:00

All in a single day? You are either the fastest reader I have ever met, or you went full retard. Now, most people don't even know the levels of retardation that exist. You seriously need to shut your big mouth and stop talking about shit like this. No more crying, texting, calling, and talking about your feelings and blah blah blah. Gym, read, shut up. Yes, it's really that simple in the beginning. Except for starting the 5x5, every thing you list in this post is even more beta than the last.

So the texting chicken game was broken

It's not a game. Stop texting.

Fucking rolled into how I'm becoming a new man, getting my balls back ect.

Way too soon for this kind of conversation. This conversation comes in a couple of months and is initiated by her, not by you.

I finally called her on it

Why talk about it, you already knew the answer and more importantly you knew why. She doesn't want to wear her ring, fine. Don't wear yours.

I called her

You started to do something right, and then you drone on and on about not crying and telling her you wont beg her to stay. What if I told you she is probably already wading in the waters to check out some other fish. The reason she doesn't bring this up is because she is already checked out of the relationship. Don't worry for her, she will be fine. Just go out there and find another man and the same problems. You on the other hand are probably stuck in a point where you will be devastated and cling/stalk her for the next couple of months until a judge tells you to stop.

Also told her it was shitty of her to want to jump ship after one fight after all the hard work we've both put into rebuilding our marriage.

This part of the conversation she probably didn't even hear.

GargantuaBlarg29 · 2017-03-30T11:57:01+00:00

Also told her it was shitty of her to want to jump ship after one fight after all the hard work we've both put into rebuilding our marriage.

Are you fucking kidding me. You are flailing. FLAILING. You do a shit ton of chores and then employ reverse psychology ON YOURSELF by saying, "Let's see what she says now that I'm 'not doing it for her' anymore."

Then you give in anyway when she doesn't notice and start bragging about how you're going to change.

Then you fold again because you say you're not going to text her in a "chicken game". Dude, 100$ says YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE PLAYING THIS GAME. AND YOU LOST!

And now...after all this bragging and showmanship to her about you changing and how she needs to contribute or get out, you say, "Oh, and don't choose 'get out' because that would be really shitty of you...because, you know, sunk costs." I'm with weakandsensitive on this one. I don't believe you've learned a thing yet. And this whole series of events AND this post is nothing but trying to convince us and yourself that you have.

man_in_the_world · 2017-03-30T04:35:47+00:00

Started talking, didn't STFU.

STFU.

So the texting chicken game was broken. I asked her about our son going to bed

No. STFU.

I told her I wasn't mad, which I'm really not. I asked her why and she said because after the fight Monday things felt different. I told her I noticed. I called her and put things plainly and calmly in as few words as possible. I told her

No no, please, for the love of ... STFU, you fucking beta faggot!

And post this newbie Rambo crap in askMRP, if you must post. Mods?

SirGaetanDugas · 2017-03-30T03:31:37+00:00

Maybe s!ow down and just do some good lurking and lifting for a few weeks

BobbyPeru · 2017-03-30T03:54:11+00:00

Swallowing the pill is a process, not an event. Don't get too hung up on one event. If you fall off the horse, jump back on and don't be so hard on yourself- it will stunt your growth.

trpbritguy · 2017-03-30T10:56:31+00:00

If I was still at the stage where I was actually crying about shit I certainly wouldn't be posting about it! Cry when someone dies mate!

Her wanting to jump ship was a reaction to your pansy behavior!

Persaeus · 2017-03-30T11:23:41+00:00

well yesterday in OYS, I told you

your user name is very aspirational . . . do the work

guess I should have said STFU too, damm bro acta non verba

zeteomegaleio · 2017-03-30T12:15:49+00:00

I know it is attractive when you get inspired to think you are a "new man from here on out," and yes a switch might flip and you decide to go down the MRP road from then on out.

But there are things you have to go through, practice, and change over time. You don't go from being a fat ass to having a 6pack overnight and you similarly don't get to act like you have a 6pack just because you worked out for 1 day yet are still a fat ass.

Acta non verba. Shut the fuck up and just start taking actions. Read, lift, do the work. It will take you months to unfuck yourself, because you have to put this stuff into practice every day and internalizing it does not happen overnight.

Start small, you cannot possibly remember and do every piece of advice here on day 1. You are trying to play some great Rachmaninov piano piece when you need to start with "Mary Had A Little Lamb."

Everything you did besides SL5x5, in fact even describing this as going Rambo, shows you do not understand this stuff yet besides the fact that you know you need to be here. Slow down.

Until you have spent at least 2 weeks here, read NMMNG and WISNIFG, and have the basics of a lifting routine in place and are handling your basic day to day shit, then you should just be shutting the fuck up and absorbing everything/pondering it. Stop talking to your wife about the new you. There is no new you until you actually go through the change, you aren't new just because you decided to be without any of the work that comes with it.

Don't get discouraged either. Everyone fucks up. Accept that you did, learn the lesson, and move on with your new knowledge.

ReddJive · 2017-03-30T12:56:50+00:00

I am going to give you very specific advice. Very specific.

You are not only seeking validation but are addicted to it. You can't STFU. You didn't go Rambo you went full on pussy. I mean to the point where I don't know who has the vagina in the house.

During this I noticed she had hid her left hand into her long sleeve. I immediately knew she didn't forget her water bottle. She took her ring off this morning and didn't wear it

This is a red flag for me. If she just took it off and forgot to put it back on she wouldn't have cared to go get it again. Just shrugged it off and whatever. Ask yourself why she felt the need to need to go get it suddenly? question the narrative here.

Lastly....no longer talk to her about shit. Work is fine, ok, or great. One word. Smack her ass for no reason other then it's there.

If you feel like you need to emote or be weak about something get up and just leave the house. go cry in your car. Go pound iron again, never let her see you weak.

You need to ween yourself off her and the validation you seek so much.

Daddie0 · 2017-03-30T13:59:04+00:00

All I'm reading is a guy who thinks he is doing things for himself, not for his wife, but the post saying otherwise.

You obviously didn't read NMMNG.

You set a good boundary with her by telling her to get all in or get out, but I'm convinced that you were not ready to do that yet.

Don't believe me? Re-read your last two paragraphs.

JDRoedell · 2017-03-30T14:25:00+00:00

Go Rambo you certainly did. Usually we consider this a bad thing. Slow down. Her not wearing her ring is what you call an "indicator"

BluepillProfessor · 2017-04-01T19:09:58+00:00

crying about my feelings, how she doesn't show me affection or appreciate the things I do for her.

That will show her!

Left for work almost four hours ago and she hasn't said one word.

Wow! You went an entire 4 hours without texting your wife. Good start. I guess.

after the fight Monday things felt different. I told her I noticed. I called her and put things plainly and calmly in as few words as possible. I told her, "You know how I feel about you and our family

Well it has been an entire 4 hours. Obviously it is time to supplicate and take yourself as low as possible. Beg bitch. Beg!

told her it was shitty of her to want to jump ship after one fight

More begging. Do you have any idea how pathetic this must look to your wife. You have a run-of-the-mill fight which YOU let escalate. Now you are hounding her accusing her of wanting to "jump ship."

I'm not going to cry, beg, or plead you to stay anymore

Great! Stop talking. Start acting- and fake it before you make it.

Title	[FR] Went Rambo
Author	AmeriknGrizzly
Upvotes	14
Comments	50
Date	March 30, 2017 2:39 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/62bdcz/fr_went_rambo/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/fr-went-rambo.198944 https://theredarchive.com/post/198944

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