You may be married today, but with a sky high divorce rate, you know it’s only a matter of time before your status changes to “separated”, then “divorced”. Which puts you back in the dating game.

Some qualifying tests for dating to ensure you are making effective use of your time. Effective use of her time? That’s her problem, not yours.

  1. She wants a phone call to chat first. Tell her you prefer meeting in person, see what she says. If she insists on a phone call, delete her. If she isn’t willing to follow you for a first meeting, it’s only downhill from there. You’re really trying to determine if she will follow you. Along with you staying off the damn phone, it’s not your friend.

  2. She says she has no car. See if she’ll meet half way anyway. That will determine her interest level, flexibility, and willingness to make an effort. If no, delete her. You’ll just end up being her chauffeur for everything else you do together.

  3. You’ve been paying for a while. Tell her it’s her turn to pay. See if she’s willing to follow and comply with you, or she follows her women, as in “the man always pays”. If she gives major drama about paying, ghost her and move on. It’s never going to get any better. You’re not her walking ATM.

  4. She wants to do some activity that requires non-trivial investment. Say long-term dance lessons. Tell her to register herself, and you’ll register yourself. You’ll find out if she’s serious, or just trying to free ride on you. If she tells you to register her, move along. Once an expense is on your credit card, you’re liable for it, and don’t expect her to reimburse you. The other problem is that she has no skin in the game, and will bail on the lessons the minute she’s pissed off with you.

  5. She wants a first date meal or paid entertainment. Tell her it’s Starbucks or McDonalds, and only coffee, but you’ll pay. If she insists on a meal or entertainment, be busy with something else, ghost her and move along. You don’t have a relationship with her, and are under no obligation to feed her or entertain her. If you set the initial bar at meals or entertainment, there’s no telling how high that bar’s going to go.

  6. She lives far away but still is in your area code. Do nothing. Don’t reply. Delete her. Women don’t reply to men all the time. You’re looking for a dating companion, not a part-time friend. You can do nothing spontaneous with her. Proximity is one of the laws of attraction. You don’t have it when she’s an hour away.

  7. She’s not in your area code. Swipe left. There’s no such thing as a long distance relationship. You’ll only end up with a pen pal, and since you’re a busy guy with local options and interesting things to do, you don’t need a female pen pal.

  8. Her pictures showed her at a more youthful stage of her life. Yes, we want to show our best face to the world. Yes, attraction is everything to men. Yes, everyone lies on their dating profiles. But this is false advertising and really a bait-and-switch tactic. Be nice for an hour, and delete her on the way out the door. Would you have done the date if you saw pictures of the real her? Glowing personalities do not make up for attractiveness, or lack of. Again, men choise on attractiveness first. Maybe that’s shallow, but that’s how men are.

  9. She declines a scheduled meeting at the last minute, and gives no counter proposal to meet. Easy. Delete her. Shit happens, but must be accompanied by a counter proposal. She probably got a better proposal from another man.