A bit about me and then a question for you guys. If Rollo, Vox, or Dalrock have something to say about my post that would be great, and this might be some fodder for them.

I have been a long time lurker in both TRP and MRP. I am a solid Sigma male. I have lots of natural Alpha traits, but very elusive, don't have a pack, and prefer it that way. My Grandfathers were natural Alphas, but my Dad was/is very Beta/Gamma.

I grew up and spent ten years in a marriage having NO IDEA about game concepts, sexual and pair bonding biology, etc. I am your typical guy posting on here. Marriage started out like fireworks, ignorantly held my frame often, lots of sexual energy, etc.

After ten years my mentally ill wife pulled a frivorce and became your poster girl for AWALT. It devastated me. Went into suicide watch at a facility, and I became very angry. She literally told me a few days before she left 4 years ago that she couldn't wait for the next 10 years. I felt robbed.

For the longest time I blamed it on her mental illness. She wasn't batshit crazy, but she was very insecure and now I know she was shit testing me constantly. Instead of passing them I went from a stage of being annoyed to being very angry which in turn made her feel "unsafe."

The bottom line, I believe, after swallowing the red pill is that for about 8 years I was her AF and BB. As a natural Sigma male I had a good income, very good in bed, very smart and funny. I have no problems getting plates and have to push some away and hold that frame.

The problem is in year 9 I took a gamble on a business venture, and put on about 50lbs. She hung in there for about a year, but it is obvious to me now that I went from being both her AF and BB to neither and she was out of there!

I blamed her for a long time because I didn't understand hypergamy and AWALT. I still believed in unconditional love. I thought if anyone was going to divorce anyone it would be me leaving her grumpy/bitch ass.

I swallowed up a bunch of PUA stuff and it didn't help. Then I read NMMNG and it changed my life. We stopped arguing all the time in our co-parenting, etc. and she started to open up to me more about her "feelings."

I took the Graduating Gamma challenge and feel fully unplugged. My question is about reconciliation. I have doubled my income since she left, on the cusp of six figures. Thanks to stoicism I have so much more control over my emotions. I spin plates to practice shit tests and do very well.

I consider the greatest alpha thing to do in my life is to have a successful and TRP relationship with my wife and children. That is why I am posting here and not in AskTRP. My ex-wife has gone through three relationships and when we see each other you can feel the tension and she has communicated her regrets to my children and some of her family.

So here is the question: have you heard of anyone reconciling their marriage after 4-5 years of divorce and going TRP and raising their SMV? I still have about 30lbs. to lose, but I swear that is the only thing stopping the reconciliation right now. Am I setting myself up? I am so unfullfilled spinning plates, I know what the territory would be with my ex versus other post-wall women, and I am missing out on so much of my kids' life because she moved a state away.

tl&dr - has anyone every reconciled their marriage after going beta, divorce, and then raising their SMV?