So I'm trying to cut back on being too distant, too much of an asshole, and I've been trying to do small nice things for her without expecting anything in return.

I cooked her bfast this morning and went back to sleep. No big deal since she was in a hurry and I didnt want her to be hungry in the morning.

I come home in the evening and do some chores, again because they need to be done, not because that's what will make her happy.

She comes home and says the bfast was a little burnt. Welp, ok, I tell her (being sure not to apologize). Oh and thanks for doing the laundry hun! At least she acknowledged it...

Later on she asks me for some water since I was up. I bring it to her in a coffee mug (first thing I saw in sight). She makes a comment about how its not a 'drinking glass'. We start arguing, I lose it and we get into a yelling match, with her saying I do things like this half-ass (prolly half-assed to her since she's a perfectionist).

I don't know how to handle a constant barrage of these shit tests without losing my cool! It's like she only notices the small stuff and doesn't see the overall big picture of value that I provide.