So the wife says to me "I have all of the power in this relationship because I control sex." She said something to this in effect twice, I ignored it both times and walked off. This seemed like a overt response to her losing power over me. It seemed better to say nothing than anything. Not sure if that was the best response, but couldn't come up with anything.

I have been working hard to pay attention to what my wife does vs. what she says. We had sex a couple of times recently, and I have been having the lights on. She always claimed to be self conscious about her body and wanted it dark. On our last encounter I noticed that she keeps her eyes closed a lot, and typically has a look of pleasure when they are closed. I had her open her eyes and look into my and I saw nothing, no passion. It then hit me that out relationship has always been this way since the beginning. This is all my fault. I just never put it all together until now.

She was never into me. I was too big of a blue pill pussy to see anything or act accordingly. My little voice was telling me back then that I would regret marrying this woman and she would have no use for me when she got her two kids. I own this, and I am responsible for this mess.

I need a gut check. My plan is to stay another 12 - 18 months and continue to get my shit together and get myself ready to leave. If things get better with her great, if not, I will be in the place I need to be to leave.

How would you guys handle the sex and intimacy if it comes up? She sees other women hitting on me, but it doesn't seem to get any response from her. I believe that since she never had any real desire for me, that this just isn't going to work. I sure as hell don't want to have sex if she is just faking going through the motions. That blows!

The goods news is, I feel great! Very much more at peace and confident these days. I was in a store the other day looking at some sunglasses flirting with this young woman who was about 6'2". I am about 5' 10". Wouldn't have said boo back in the old days. I was just chatting with her no real intention other than to get comfortable talking with woman/people that I don't know.

I have found that doing that is so much easier if I have no investment in what people think of me. I was trying to figure out which case to take with these glasses and I complained about the hard case looking like grass hut and it was kind of dumb. She said to me, "It will match nicely with your grass skirt." she did smile as she said this. I promptly replied with "Yeah, I am not really a grass skirt guy, I prefer a muu muu. You should see the matching thong." Yes, I get it you shouldn't use self-deprecating humor, however, I said it with such confidence, because I really didn't give a rip. I noticed her nipping and her face flushed and she giggled and said, "Your funny!"

I have found it fun to flirt with women and practice these skills. Please rip away gents. As always, I appreciate everyone's feedback.