Comparing emotion labor to physical labor (especially the dirty and dangerous kind) is used by people who don’t want to work. And it can be abuse in a relationship.

IceCorrect · 2023-06-08T22:47:31+00:00

Her venting to you about her day could be emotional labour - yours.

At first lets define what emotional labour is then we can comparing. Just like regular doctor and psychiatrist, for one you see how much work is done, while for another its all in mind so its just hard to measure it.

Top-Swimmer-7918 · 2023-06-09T04:02:12+00:00

Imagine complaining about not having to have a job.

UnbentSandParadise · 2023-06-08T23:02:22+00:00

Mental fatigue is the term they are looking for. The cure is doing things like spending time mediating, exercise, eating well, and getting into a consistent sleep cycle. How this spirals is the worse the fatigue feels the easier it becomes to start overlooking these things.

Now, I live alone so I have to do my own chores but I also make sure I slot in time for these other things or I can get days at work where it feels like my brain is surrounded by molasses and it just makes doing anything harder.

I work as a technical manager, so I spend my days bouncing between fixing problems with machines and fixing problems with people, its not physically demanding work but it builds up if you let it.

This could be the fault of another person adding to their plate but it's not 100%, what I don't like about the term emotional labour is it heavily implies they are doing well and someone else is lacking by default and not that they might be lacking in their own stress management.

YourPiercedNeighbour · 2023-06-09T01:53:35+00:00

I was off for a year parental leave, and I can tell you that staying at home with a couple young kids was …… way easier and better than driving to work and slaving away all day lol. Anyone who unironicly uses this term to apply to housework, I can now safely dismiss as a professional victim

No_Discipline_7867 · 2023-06-09T00:02:18+00:00

A man will go to go to work for 8-12 hours a day. You come home and they want you to do half of their work as well. To do all their household work, they’d consider themselves “maids” or “slaves”, even though they’d do it if they lived alone.

In the case that both of you work 8-12 hours a day, the household chores should be split 50/50, but even if that’s not the case, you will find yourself cleaning the house yourself after breaking your back at work, and cooking for yourself.

No-Knowledge-8867 · 2023-06-09T03:16:24+00:00

People who say this refuse to acknowledge the emotional labour they exert onto others.

Drunkenestbadger · 2023-06-09T11:43:43+00:00

"Emotional labor" is the latest in a long line of terms that has been co-opted by feminists. Its original usage was meant to describe the kind of feigned positive emotional response when dealing with customers typical to service industry work. It was not meant to describe doing the dishes or remembering a mother's day card.

Ok-Crab-4063 · 2023-06-09T04:55:59+00:00

Codependent relationships. Plus gaslighting people who are desperate for love will make them work themselves to death

BoomTheBear86 · 2023-06-09T09:13:17+00:00

Emotional labour is a stupid concept imo.

Labour often implies work, with a measurable output and also an agreed value of said work (which is usually paid for).

Where the “emotional Labour” argument is often used, it’s often applied one-sidedly (one party feels they’re doing work, the other hasn’t agreed it, asked for it, quantified it or even said they want it) and yet one party demands “compensation”.

If I turn up and mow your lawn without you asking me to, I shouldn’t expect to be paid. Therefore it’s not right to describe what I did as “Labour” in the proper sense because it had no agreed value. It was merely me “acting” as it were.

In the same way “emotional labour” is most often not that, it’s simply people dealing with emotional stuff, or content, and for some reason believing it requires compensation or applause of some kind because they’re insistent on trying to apply measurement to a territory as nebulous as “emotional satisfaction”.

It’s a fools game.

DeathsHorseMen · 2023-07-20T03:55:19+00:00

I work hard outside in the sun and my wife compares her job to mine. When I come home from lifting heavy objects or landscaping for 8 hours straight without eating she says "Well I also worked today."

We fight about it

Neither_Still8887 · 2023-06-09T06:49:36+00:00

I think emotional labour IS a valid point, occasionally. As you could argue the man in your example was also suffering under emotional labour

I know a couple, disabled kid. Both parents work, both have "safe jobs", the guys job IS more stressful, but again, most similar

The woman, takes on all responsibility for the kid, the housework, the diy. This isn't heresy, I have witness this

The man's excuses is "he works around 15 more hours a week at work".

Maybe their relationship is just shitty. But it's still emotional labour. Men also have emotional labour.. we all do.

But its more prevalent where kids are in the mix

Ideally, work should be divided fairly. It you both work full time, household chores should be 50/50. It's someone is part time 70/30. Or whatever

anothergoodbook · 2023-06-09T11:46:25+00:00

I 100% will schedule all the doctors appointments, plan birthday parties and vacations, and all the other kid stuff to not have my husband’s job. And I would never compare the two. He’s managing now which isn’t as laborious, but yeah I wouldn’t take his 18hour days on a 200 ft high conveyor belt ever. And I would never have the audacity to claim my day was harder than that (not that I think comparison is ever healthy anyway).

I really dislike the whole idea of emotional labor from the first time I heard it. Like if I’m stressed out because I’m taking on too much or trying to control everything, that’s something I need to figure out. Of course I’m hesitant to call things abuse because it’s been weaponized against men for so long I don’t think the opposite is helpful either.

Za__guy · 2023-06-10T09:20:01+00:00

Emotional labor isn't labor at all

Yah that nice, that help but WTF is counting that as work, should we count good night kiss as repay too?

freeball_1 · 2023-06-09T02:50:24+00:00

Next time just tell her to shut her bitch ass mouth, problem solved.

Title	Comparing emotion labor to physical labor (especially the dirty and dangerous kind) is used by people who don’t want to work. And it can be abuse in a relationship.
Author	NeoNotNeo
Upvotes	234
Comments	43
Date	June 8, 2023 10:39 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/144nk46/comparing_emotion_labor_to_physical_labor/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/comparing-emotion-labor-to-physical-labor.1221719 https://theredarchive.com/post/1221719

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