Explaining to my circumcised son.

Anonymous--Rex · 2017-06-10T05:41:25+00:00

You tell him the truth but withhold your own judgement and regret. Explain to him what circumcision is and that lots of people have it done and that you had him circumcised as a baby. You can leave it at that. There's a good chance he'll ask why you didn't have his brother circumcised, though. If he asks why you that directly, explain to him that just because everyone does something, it doesn't mean it's the best thing to do.

When he's a old enough understand, you can explain to him in more detail about why you changed your mind.

PowerToAnnihilate · 2017-06-10T05:50:03+00:00

I am circumcised too. My parents are fairly evil though and made me feel like shit.

Here is what I wished they said

1 "I FUCKED UP." You did. It is obvious you did because the younger one is intact. Own your mistake.
2 You can make it up to him. Point him in the direction of foreskin restoration and look up foregen.org
3 Inform him that it was a mistake and to not do it to his children. Explain why

Other than that.. hope he doesn't despise you for doing that do him. If I had an intact younger brother I wouldn't ever forgive my parents. I would feel like they cared more about him and that I was the guinne pig for their adult life. Expect some arguments where he brings that up in rage (or not he might not care but likely will).

I don't have much love for regret parents... there is still a boy missing part of himself in the equation. he is the real victim.

LoyalGun4U · 2017-06-10T05:37:01+00:00

Not a parent, but am a circumsized son, so I'll just tell you what I'd like to hear from my parents.

It might not be for years and years, but you need to own up to it when he's able to understand. Admit that it was a mistake that you have learned a lesson from and that you regret it was at his expense. Emphasize that you're sorry and wish you could undo it or make it up to him. I don't know when or if he'll be able to comprehend, and I know it's tough for anyone to realize their parents aren't infallible, but it's better than him thinking you love your younger son more than him. It's better than expecting him to broach the subject, or worse it never coming up at all.

Short term solution is tough, it might be best to tell him that it was a medical thing that we used to think was helpful for babies. Even so, at an early age I would emphasize that it isn't helpful so he doesn't grow up thinking that, we don't need another ignorant parent 20-40 years from now passing it on to another generation.

AloysiusC · 2017-06-10T10:42:00+00:00

With all the comments advising you to admit to the mistake (I don't disagree), keep something in mind though: You want your son to be happy and have a healthy feeling about his body. That's going to be very hard if he learns that he's a mutilated victim. There's a reason why most circumcised men are so adamant that it's good. It's how they cope.

I'm not saying you should lie, but if possible, find a way to tell him so he doesn't conclude that there's something wrong with him or that he's damaged. Point out that many boys are circumcised and it's quite common. And if he asks why you did it, you can say everybody was saying it's better.

Even if it is a big deal, try to make it as tiny of a deal as possible for him. When he's older you can go into more depth and explain how seriously you really feel about it. But right now I would advise against it.

Remember, most people here are motivated by a desire to end circumcision. But your priority is not that, it's raising your son. Those two might not align perfectly here.

Dankmemesteelbeams · 2017-06-10T05:44:12+00:00

Would likely recommend apologizing(perhaps wait some years, until he'll understand), and explain everything. And perhaps if he's upset enough, you can tell him that there are people planning to find a way of regrowing it(/r/foregen). Won't undo what had happened, but will reverse it. But really, it depends on his reaction I suppose. Pretty much the same idea as /u/LoyalGun4u I guess.

iainmf · 2017-06-10T08:24:06+00:00

Perhaps you could start putting a little money aside now for foreskin restoration so it won't be a problem if he chooses that later on.

redmagistrate50 · 2017-06-10T12:20:43+00:00

I am the only circumcised male in my family, it's the result of medical advice my parents were given when I was about 4 years old. My foreskin was deformed and not retracting, I was in considerable pain and my parents did what they thought was right at the time.

Were there better ways? Maybe, but I enjoy the privilege of hindsight, my parents made a choice based on the information available to them.

Tell your son he was circumcised, ezplain to him that it happens to a lot of little boys. When your son is old enough to understand you can tell him you made a mistake. A mistake made from ignorance and misinformation can be forgiven, be honest with him and give him the chance to forgive you.

I forgave my mum and dad.

RedPillAlphaBigCock · 2017-06-10T12:29:11+00:00

You made a mistake and learned your lesson - Don't beat yourself up - I'm glad you seen the light

swizzledudeftw · 2017-06-10T14:19:14+00:00

I think it's awesome that you see that you made a mistake

alberbot · 2017-06-10T05:22:56+00:00

Hes 4 doubt he will understand anyways. I'd wait a few years. Until then I'd just tell him everyone is different

dukunt · 2017-06-11T22:43:29+00:00

I am circumcised and my 9 year old son is not. I seriously considered getting him circumcised when he was born but Im glad that I didnt. I have no problem being circumcised, but why would I want to cut my son for no reason?

lastlaugh100 · 2017-06-10T15:36:14+00:00

Tell him you thought circumcision had health benefits but later realized the doctors simply wanted to make money off an unnecessary surgery. You had been lied to and let his younger brother keep his foreskin since it has functions you didn't know about until recently.

You can also tell him it's possible to do foreskin restoration but the nerves and ridged band will never be restored and the scar tissue will always be there. I have been restoring for 10 years and have half coverage. It's a tedious and cumbersome process and requires persistence to coax the skin to grow since it is a double layer of skin.

HasAnArchmageFetish · 2017-06-10T16:57:21+00:00

Just dodge the question for 4 or five years. By that time forgen will be available and you can right your mistake.

2017-06-10T14:33:44+00:00

Ask him if he would like to look like his to look like his brother's and if he says yes then start recapping him! He's only 4 so this is a really good time to do that for him. If you don't know what I'm talking about (this to anyone really) then look it up.

Source_or_gtfo · 2017-06-11T00:25:55+00:00

Imo. Don't mention anything about long-term effects. Just mention that everyone you've known had it done, but when you saw the pain he went through you decided not to get it done to his brother.

nugymmer · 2017-06-12T11:25:44+00:00

http://imgur.com/olPNJwG

2 years ago...well, almost.

Made me sick to my stomach. I never found out until March this year. In 2014 and 2015 I was having major problems with PTSD caused, strangely enough, by watching a baby boy being circumcised. In 2015 things were very bad and I was on the verge of suicide. I was saved by the fact that my sister took me to see the doctor and I was prescribed anti-depressants again...like I'd been on the damned things for 10+ years at that point.

Had I seen this back then in July 2015, I wouldn't be here today. You see, back then I had 20+ grams of Nembutal powder that I'd managed to obtain. I lost it when I moved house in September that year.

Look, I have random Long QT syndrome. It comes and goes.

When I saw that, I went into Torsades. Nearly died.

My ECG would have looked something like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ccTO6fNobU

Fortunately, the TdP episode terminated spontaneously, or else I'd have gone into VF and died. TdP is a specific type of VT, and a very dangerous type at that.

Now, even DESPITE taking anti-depressants, I STILL feel like utter shit. This sort of stuff really bothers me. Hell, I spoke to psychiatrists in July 2015 about this shit, but they just recommended an anti-psychotic called Ziprasidone. Um, yeah, that stuff is really fucking bad for those with Long QT syndrome...

Me: Look, I'm really struggling.

Psych: Um, well, we can give you something that will turn you into a zombie, destroy any remaining pleasure you be able to experience. But wait, that's not all. As an added bonus, we'll throw in the distinct possibility of a sudden cardiac arrest. There you go. Now go off and take your meds, and see me later.

The sad part is that a sudden cardiac arrest would be a Godsend to me right now. And my parents, and sisters, and the rest of my family wouldn't have to live with the shame of knowing I'd taken my own life. Well, there you have it.

Welcome to my life.

DisorientatedView · 2017-06-10T12:49:00+00:00

I'm confused why is circumcision bad for you? Doesn't it decrease the chances of STI's and penal cancer that develops on the foreskin?

SECTION	CONTENT
Title	Polymorphic VT: Torsade de Pointes
Description	French for "Twisting of the Points," a rapid polymorphic Ventricular Tachycardia. It is usually caused by hypomagnesemia, hypokalemia, and malnourished alcoholics. Although Torsades de Pointes (TdP) is a rare ventricular arrhythmia, it can degenerate into ventricular fibrillation, leading to death without rapid medical intervention. TdP is associated with long QT syndrome, a condition whereby prolonged QT intervals are visible on the ECG. TREATMENT:If stable - Give 1-2 g Magnesium over 5-20 min...
Length	0:01:05

Explaining to my circumcised son.

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Title	Explaining to my circumcised son.
Author	ThisGirlIsHellaCrazy
Upvotes	88
Comments	90
Date	June 10, 2017 5:19 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/6gdmwp/explaining_to_my_circumcised_son/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/explaining-to-my-circumcised-son.920777 https://theredarchive.com/post/920777

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