I’m new

Rolaid-Tommassi · 2020-08-18T05:40:59+00:00

No, you should definitely not be ashamed. I think men generally, support womens' rights but the problem with modern feminism is that it has become a movement of power and a LOT of feminists simply resent all men and often have grievances which they blame on all men. As to your other point, yes, there are even some men who think being an outspoken "feminist" will win them some more pussy. But they simply don't notice that women hate these guys even more than they hate the rest of us.

PuddleOfMush · 2020-08-18T08:03:25+00:00

He said he was a feminist and proceeded to call people who fight for men’s rights are “A bunch of crying babies who just don’t like it when a women fights for her rights” and “all men are pieces of trash”

That says it all, doesn't it? Someone saying "men shouldn't fight for their rights" immediately followed by "all men are trash". They're discriminating against men while telling us to sit down, shut up and not question their discrimination. People like this are exactly why MRAs need to exist, because we can't expect them to be honest or fair.

I'm going to be honest with you, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Being an MRA is hard. It's not a popular idea, and people will treat you terribly when you speak out. Not because you're wrong, but because they want you to be wrong. The best thing I can advise you to do is arm yourself with the knowledge, statistics, and rhetoric to make a sound defense of yourself and your rights.

On this subreddit there's a resource of statistics and sources. Commit those to memory as best you can. As for tearing down their rhetoric, I recommend a YouTuber by the name of DoctorRandomercam. I've been watching him for 5 years, he's fantastic. He does a great job of debunking feminist and anti-male logic, and he's hilarious to boot.

user_miki · 2020-08-18T07:58:33+00:00

It is all about money in the end. Feminism believe in a zero sum game.

Basically they think that if they recognize some of the men grievances(boys education,shelters for abused men,child support/alimony reform,justice for men reform,reproductive rights for men,false accusations,aso) that means LESS MONEY for women grievances and women needs.

At the moment the victim industry is mopping a lot of tax payers resources.They want to stay that way.

And regarding resources (zero sum game).I think they are right,resources of a country are finite,there is no enough resources to satisfy all people.They think, better them suffering than us.

So it's a money issue, not a moral issue.But they use morals to extract money.Better pretend the injustice against men don't exist.

Vilokys · 2020-08-18T11:08:21+00:00

You definetly shouldn't be ashamed of agreeing to the mens' right movement. Women AND men have problem. Some are specific for one gender and some concerned both gender (domestic violence for example).

The problem with feminism is that it has a narrative : the patriarchy exist to oppress women. And they would do everything to defend this narrative because it allowed them to be the victims and it protects the women of legals responsabilities when women commit crimes. Everything the feminism does is to furhter this victimhood mentality and get more "rights" which are just priviledges since women has it but not men.

To your question, why MRM get so much hate ? Because it's the only opposition left to the feminism. And because the feminism lose some ground to it. The MRM isn't about throwing back the women to the kitchen, it's about giving the men the same rights than the women. (Irony, it is precisely what the feminism claims to do) Therefore, the MRM fight for custody, mens' reproductive rights, against circumcision... And it bothers the feminism because this fights break their narrative and without their narrative, the feminism has nothing to live for.

Finally, about your situation. You are young. Not trying to belittle you, just you can't really afford to antagonize your family. Because of that, you can't go head-on with MRM's arguments even if they are legit.

You should what we call in France "entretien épistémique". In english, I think we could translate that by epistemic discussion but that quite a rough translation. In an epistemic discussion, the goal isn't to present your arguments, it's about to ask questions, to lead your interlocutor to question his own affirmations. Example :

- The women are oppressed by the patriarchy.

- How are they oppressed ? What means are used to oppresse them ? Why women are oppressed when the overall majority of teachers is female ?

peteypete78 · 2020-08-18T10:23:18+00:00

The problem with there being terms to describe each sexes struggles is that it creates competition and those that identify as one or the other will fight for their corner.

Now what we all should be doing is using a term like Humanist, where we all work together to make sure everyone has the same rights as everyone else and so an issue can be brought up and everyone would get behind it.

Sadly it won't happen but hey I try.

ThatMakesYouWonder · 2020-08-18T19:34:08+00:00

Both the feminist movement and the men's right activists have people that have 'bad takes', This is what gives the feminists movement and the mens right's activists a bad name, and by doing so, they create immediate push back towards eachothers causes.

As long a you have the understanding that being a men's right activist, doesn't mean you should hate feminists and vice versa, you should be good. If you experience push back, just try and calmly explain why you think it's important.

Try not to put feminists and MRA's against eachother, so rather then saying for example "the male suicide rate is x% higher then the woman suicide rate, try saying "the male suicide rate is x%, woudn't you agree that this is terrible and something needs to be done?".

Our movement is so much better off when people are actually focussing on the real problems rather then delving into a discussion about which side got the worse end of the stick. This will only lead to people not talking about the actual problem, and so nothing gets done about it.

Should people bring up feminist topics with you, don't counter by saying "but men....." and then starting to talk about men's issues. Just respect that the topic, at that time, is the feminist perspective, listning and acknowleding the problems there are on both sides is really important, don't make someone else feel invalidated.

Issues on both sides matter, be respectfull, I consider myself to be an MRA and a feminist, they aren't mutually exclusive.

Best of luck!

Lethn · 2020-08-18T09:18:14+00:00

He said he was a feminist and proceeded to call people who fight for men’s rights are “A bunch of crying babies who just don’t like it when a women fights for her rights” and “all men are pieces of trash”

You should not give two shits what people think of you if you agree with MRA stance especially if they're male feminists. It's pretty much a guarantee that whenever some guy announces they're a male feminist they get MeToo'd or they turn out to be genuine creeps who have sexually assaulted women or treat them like shit.

There are only two reasons for a guy to call themselves a feminist, guilt over their own pasts so they're trying to attack you and virtue signal to look good to women. Or they're trying to get laid and they think they'll get a feminist woman if they're seen to be sticking up for them on social media.

Don't let them manipulate you and try to make you feel guilty if you know you've done nothing wrong it's a common tactic. These people try to use shame as a weapon and make you get defensive and think you've done something wrong.

By the way just to confirm, I've had very aggressive guys every now and then come at me and when I've taken a glance through their post histories they've been posting shit in the NSFW subreddit and it gets me in hysterics because some of it is genuinely creepy and I wouldn't post that lol.

curry_girl · 2020-08-18T09:34:26+00:00

Hi, I’m a feminist. I think both feminism and men’s right get portrayed poorly by the wrong people at times. I honestly see a lot of similarities between the two which I think is not talked about enough. Like on this sub, there are some things I disagree with, but I agree with a lot of it. Just keep an open mind and learn as much as possible <3

goodfoobar · 2020-08-18T12:08:42+00:00

I feel if I were to share my opinion I would be shot down because my opinion “isn’t valid” and “you are just saying that to discriminate against women”

Learn facts that you can back up. That way you can be confident about what you are saying. Being shot down can be countered with The Socratic Method. It is a method that questions the person shooting you down and allows them to reveal the reason for there statements. When they can back up there words you learn and when they can't you reveal there flaws.

eg. Why is that not valid? How does men's rights issue x discriminate against women?

ArthurDent4ever · 2020-08-18T12:22:17+00:00

You should not be ashamed but your assessment of their reactions is probably correct. Feminists respond to pretty much any challenge with shame because they don’t know any other way.

DiamondDiggler · 2020-08-18T16:05:32+00:00

There is nothing wrong with wanting a fair society for you.

But I would suggest that you don't get too indulged in the movement at such a young age. Focus on building your career & specialty. It's not too late to get actively engaged into the movement after securing yourself a stable social/economic position.

You can then laugh at feminists with degrees in lesbian dance theory screaming in mediocrity.

iainmf · 2020-08-18T08:05:47+00:00

Why do you support men's rights?

Oncefa2 · 2020-08-18T16:03:05+00:00

He said he was a feminist and proceeded to call people who fight for men’s rights are “A bunch of crying babies who just don’t like it when a women fights for her rights” and “all men are pieces of trash”

Does that mean that feminists are “a bunch of crying babies who just don’t like it when a man fights for his rights”?

One important difference here is that men lack equal rights whereas women do not.

That doesn't mean that women's issues don't exist but they throw the word "rights" around a lot and it really applies to men more than it does to women at this point.

Ask him why it is that feminists failed so badly that men had to organize another movement to pick up the pieces that they left behind.

Calc_13 · 2020-08-18T16:19:50+00:00

I wouldn't say i agree with everything in this sub-reddit because there actually is alot of cry babies that don't understand that they actually have it a little easier than some women or girls, but if you just want to voice your own opinion and aslong its not derogatory or misogynist there should be nothing wrong with it. After all you are only 15 and you are just learning about things like this so there should be no problem with voicing your own opinion.

vpalod200 · 2020-08-19T02:46:57+00:00

I'm the mother of 2 sons and I've tried to teach them that they are as important as every one else. I've also tried to teach them to protect themselves from women. You sound like a good kid. Trust your instincts and conscience always. Remember that you are an important part of the world too and you deserve to be loved and respected.

wickedkookhead2 · 2020-08-24T14:11:18+00:00

We’ve only started talking about men’s rights because there’s women that are anti men and they’re a huge problem not only for us but for the women’s rights community as they give them a bad rep. This is basically our way of standing up to blue haired retards

Title	I’m new
Author	Derp_Man3
Upvotes	29
Comments	29
Date	August 18, 2020 5:35 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ibv6ir/im_new/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/im-new.845616 https://theredarchive.com/post/845616

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