The Ex Test

MechPlasma · 2012-12-27T14:11:58+00:00

Depends on what she says. Really, it depends on whether what she says SHOULD anger you. If they're matters of abuse, then she just doesn't want to go out with anyone who doesn't know what abuse is. If they're petty matters and she basically just wants to be thought of as sympathetic, then you should forget about making any romantic advances.

In other words, ignore the ultimatum altogether.

OuiCrudites · 2012-12-27T15:46:14+00:00

This is a shit test.

Tell her she should feel free to share what's on her mind, but she can't tell you how you're supposed to react to it.

pasapprivoisee · 2012-12-27T16:49:56+00:00

Are these reasonable terms on her part at all?

Not in the least.

You know how MRAs get angry when other people ask them how they ended up with the sort of women who would do the shit they do without seeing any signs? Well here's a big RED FLAG.

Don't ignore it.

dragonfucker · 2012-12-28T04:02:05+00:00

Tell her that you go on /r/MensRights -- she'll break up with you right quick

AnnArchist · 2012-12-27T17:31:34+00:00

Yoko is breaking up the band....

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2012-12-27T16:16:01+00:00

So she wants to tell you terrible things about her ex/your friend and if you don't end up hating him that means no sex for you.

Is that basically what the situation is?

foooow · 2012-12-27T23:07:15+00:00

imagine yourself telling her something similar

"If you don't stop hanging out with your close friend, I won't have sex with you."

How ridiculous a scene that would be! If a girl ever says that to you again, start laughing.

jeffsopinion · 2012-12-27T15:09:40+00:00

I would move on. Don't get in a relationship with someone who is willing to use sex as a manipulation technique. Whether you change your opinion about her ex should Be totally up to you, it shouldn't change just because she wants it to. Also keep in mind that you will be getting one side of an uncorroborated story.

Coinin · 2012-12-27T18:59:23+00:00

I would listen to what she has to say... Then I would dump her regardless a week later with no explanation.

Lohengren · 2012-12-27T19:15:21+00:00

Using sex as a weapon? bad sign bro

2012-12-27T15:32:41+00:00

This is a really big red flag. I don't understand why she is trying to get you to hate your friend who just happens to be her ex.

I would find someone else.

2012-12-27T15:35:31+00:00

I'm sorry to say it, but she sounds like an awful, manipulative bully.

jokersmild · 2012-12-27T13:52:08+00:00

Big red flag... she will run the same program on the next guy after she breaks up with you.

C0CKPUNCHER · 2012-12-27T17:17:32+00:00

The question here is why is she creating a mystery you need to solve. Why the drama? If she was entering a relationship in good faith, she would be helping you, not creating tests and recording shortcomings.

This is the real world not tv, her 'dark past' with your friend can be approached rationally rather than investing hyperbolic-ly.

buster2209 · 2012-12-27T19:31:20+00:00

It's a shit test. Delete her phone no and don't call her. No pussy is worth going through the aggravation of crap like that

2012-12-27T17:40:05+00:00

I have learned that if a women tells you her last boyfriend abused her, she will say the same exact shit about you when yer relationship is over.

2012-12-27T17:37:53+00:00

many women get jealous of mens friends, because it challenges her complete monopoly of you and what you can do for her.

Many married men are held in complete isolation from all outside friends and family so she has complete control of you, and the family unit.

MaunaLoona · 2012-12-28T09:49:37+00:00

Think what she will tell everyone about you once your relationship goes south.

Have there been any other red flags?

rightsbot · 2012-12-27T13:36:18+00:00

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ClaudeKenni · 2012-12-27T21:47:16+00:00

I wouldn't say it's quite a red flag, but it all comes down to what those things she has to say might be. But it seems like a win win situation, as you wouldn't want to get romantically involved with someone who blew something insignificiant out of proportion anyway, as you may be at just as much risk. But if it is serious, and seems plausable, then she would be right to say so.

Sharkhug · 2012-12-27T23:37:34+00:00

This is a huge red flag. The first signs of a potential abuser is how they try to alienate you from those whom would protect you. By the end of my first long term relationship, it was like waking up from a coma. I didn't have anyone to go to. I had to start over.

Don't let someone dictate whom you can and cannot be associated with, make those decisions yourself. If not for your own self respect, do it for your safety. These types of people want to isolate you, and manipulate you. This is manipulation. Rise above it.

headingtoshore · 2012-12-27T19:23:13+00:00

In due course you will be an ex of hers and she will say these things about you. She will say them to other men, and insist they must now dislike you.

Similarly, anyone who will cheat WITH you will cheat ON you, anyone who will lie for you will lie against you, and if you lie down with dogs you will get up with fleas.

Embryo557 · 2012-12-27T22:20:22+00:00

steer clear. I dated a girl like that, more ultimatums will come. The will become outlandish to the point where if you don't do what she wants she will assume you are cheating on her and burn all your shit. I got out before my shit got burnt. It was getting crazy though with accusations she made up and took for fact, and bad mouthing me to my face.

2012-12-27T22:34:30+00:00

That's not a test. It's a command.

Coinin · 2012-12-27T20:32:52+00:00

Sounds like she's been badly hurt (or thinks she's been badly hurt) by your friend and is taking her baggage along into what she has with you.

Depending on what happened, it might not be unreasonable for her to ask you not to hang out with him around her or to bring him up in conversations: Gender aside, if person x has a bad break up with person y, it would be pretty rude of person z to force them into a social situation together or bring them up needlessly. But it seems a bit off to expect you to "stop respecting them" (does this mean she doesn't want you to be friends?) as if you're some kind of emotional pawn.

Maybe something bad happened, maybe it didn't, but it's none of your business and she shouldn't really make it your business. I'd say it's something of a red flag, she might need some time alone to get over whatever happened/might have happened.

2012-12-27T23:23:22+00:00

You need to evaluate how you view women. This one just made you an ultimatum about choosing between your good friend and her. That pretty much always means you should dump her. Never let a woman make you sweat. Punish her for that shit.

IAmNotACastingAgent · 2012-12-28T01:46:09+00:00

Bros before hoes. Get the info and take it to your friend.

mikesteane · 2012-12-28T08:12:38+00:00

Red flag. What will she say about you to her next boyfriend? I doubt it will be nice.

d00st3r · 2012-12-28T09:12:51+00:00

You should probably talk to your friend to get his side of the story, then hear her out to see what she has to say. But then end the relationship, it doesn't matter if it was abuse, even really bad abuse. This girl is not someone you want to form a relationship with.

Also, how do you know she didn't just get into a big fight with your friend and has manipulated the situation up to now as a way of getting revenge on him.

2012-12-27T21:39:17+00:00

She's bargaining with her vagina. This is a sign of a fucked up person.

Title	The Ex Test
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	16
Comments	47
Date	December 27, 2012 1:35 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/15inw7/the_ex_test/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/the-ex-test.1005671 https://theredarchive.com/post/1005671

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