The Problem With Men Explaining Things

newmobsforall · 2012-08-22T07:36:56+00:00

This is probably a controversial opinion, but I think men, especially as they get older, are more prone to ramble on, and occasionally completely insult the intelligence of our audience. I've been on both sides of it and I could see how a woman could mistake it as an attitude towards women but I've sen it applied equally to other men; I've had plenty of experiences of men telling me shit I already know and of me boring sometimes experts in the field that I'm mindlessly rambling about. Personally I think it might be one of those survival traits that sometimes works weirdly in the modern era.

MaunaLoona · 2012-08-22T02:53:04+00:00

Let me tell you about a female womansplainer. It's that forty year old woman with five kids (whom she mentions every time she speaks up in class) who thinks her being a mother qualifies her as an expert on any subject.

You see her raise her hand and preface her statements with, "As a mother of five..." even if it has no bearing on what she's about to say.

And she never seems to shut up.

Being clueless has nothing to do with being a man or a woman.

TracyMorganFreeman · 2012-08-22T01:04:55+00:00

Nobody talks about "womansplaining" because feminism is womansplaining.

They can't mention their own hypocrisy.

In their narrow minds, "mansplaining" is bad, because it's men doing it; no other reason. It's just another form of feminist misandry.

Crioca · 2012-08-22T03:32:42+00:00

Oh the irony of the term "Mansplaining", a gendered term coined (I can only assume by people who are blithely unaware of the term "hypocrisy") for the purposes of explaining to one sex, why their penises render them unable to express a valid opinion on a given subject. It's a term that demands special privilege for one gender and demonises the other in the name of gender equality. Chaufemism at it's most transparent.

elebrin · 2012-08-22T02:06:41+00:00

She got upset because someone else had a different perspective and tried to explain that. If they were wrong and getting attention, she should get louder (she is a published author... she can get herself heard if she wants) and back up her point (like any man would do). Say "you are wrong and this is why." If they are quietly being morons, ignore them.

2012-08-22T02:54:14+00:00

Feminist logic: One time, a guy was a condescending ass to me, so therefore I am a only slightly less of a victim than women in the Middle East who cannot testify against their rapist.

Really? The leaps of "logic" astound me. I've no doubt that guy she is discussing is, as aforementioned, a condescending ass, but does she really think women are incapable of being one as well? And that Being treated as chattel in Iran is only a "more extreme" version of her situation. F word.

SteelCrossx · 2012-08-22T00:35:53+00:00

This was posted today by a female friend on Facebook. She stated in her posting...

I don't typically consider myself a feminist because of my own, perhaps narrow and erroneous, ideas about feminists (vs feminism, which I heartily endorse), but I loved this article and it made me, for once, classify myself as one.

I feel bad that an article such as this made someone critical of feminists willing to identify as one while containing gems such as...

Yes, guys like this pick on other men's books too, and people of both genders pop up at events to hold forth on irrelevant things and conspiracy theories, but the out-and-out confrontational confidence of the totally ignorant is, in my experience, gendered. Men explain things to me, and other women, whether or not they know what they're talking about. Some men.

Essentially, 'Yes, everyone does it... but only men are totally ignorant.'

Being told that, categorically, he knows what he's talking about and she doesn't, however minor a part of any given conversation, perpetuates the ugliness of this world and holds back its light.

Women are incapable of being totally ignorant (only men can do this) and to suggest otherwise, no matter what the topic or how minor the ignorance, is a terrible thing. Credit to the author for not using the word misogyny here.

On two occasions around that time, I objected to the behavior of a man, only to be told that the incidents hadn't happened at all as I said, that I was subjective, delusional, overwrought, dishonest—in a nutshell, female.

A woman can't legitimately be subjective, overwrought, or dishonest without it being a perception men have about women because they are women. An extension on this same theme I don't like. Only men can be completely, smugly ignorant.

Men explain things to me, still. And no man has ever apologized for explaining, wrongly, things that I know and they don't. Not yet, but according to the actuarial tables, I may have another fortysomething years to live, more or less, so it could happen. Though I'm not holding my breath.

Shouldn't men that have knowledge of a topic she doesn't be allowed to explain things to her? Why is anyone explaining something to anyone else something that requires a patronizing 'still'? And no man has ever apologized for being wrong about something to her? Ever? The implied assumption that it is not possible for a man to have this subjective experience about women. I suspect a man that enters a field dominated by women may find himself having a similar experience. It is a good argument against having any field dominated by a single group, not against men.

The battle with Men Who Explain Things has trampled down many women—of my generation, of the up-and-coming generation we need so badly, here and in Pakistan and Bolivia and Java, not to speak of the countless women who came before me and were not allowed into the laboratory, or the library, or the conversation, or the revolution, or even the category called human.

I find this comparison particularly engaging, as someone who has been in one of the Third World areas mentioned, the Afghanistan side of the Pakistan border. I may not be a woman (neither there nor here in America) but I can't imagine the situations are very comparable. For example, while having you opinion smugly dismissed by men in your peer group is bad, being very literally murdered for expressing an opinion would be pretty universally accepted to be much worse. Likewise, other non-women groups of the past have faced mortal oppression as well, some of them men and some of them white. To invoke the whole of history is maybe not the best choice.

I'm for the ability of women to express their knowledge and opinions as openly as anyone else. In fact, I helped build a women's school in Afghanistan with my own two hands to that end. To then be told I am one of The Men Who Explain Things because I dare to think I have specialized knowledge in an area (even if I do) is just as insulting as it is when 'The Men Who Explain Things' do it to women.

zarquon989 · 2012-08-22T03:16:22+00:00

That article has a comments section powered by Disqus, as have many others.

Anyone who bothered to comment here ought to sign up to Disqus, and put the same comment there.

McFurious · 2012-08-22T04:11:09+00:00

Anyone have a TL;DR? Or is the whole thing about a woman having a conversation with and old, rich guy who gasp came across as arrogant and authoritative?

SteelCrossx · 2012-08-22T00:38:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SteelCrossx · 2012-08-22T03:10:14+00:00

Oh joy, another article about this shit.

Women (generally speaking of course) like these articles because they make women feel wise and morally superior. And no man can contradict that because any contradiction just "proves" the premise of the article itself

mikesteane · 2012-08-23T02:44:17+00:00

I don't believe a word of this story.

The man was the host of the party and yet did not know she was the author of a book on a specialist subject that he describes as "very important."

The whole thing appears to be no more than a plug for her book.

yourfaceyourass · 2012-08-22T03:21:03+00:00

Someone doesn't agree with me, it must be because Im a woman!

Slyndrr · 2012-08-22T05:07:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

C0CKPUNCHER · 2012-08-22T07:22:06+00:00

Someone patronizing another is not at all gendered, nor is someone not having the guts to just say they feel disrespected and leave.

I do like how well the author depicts the experience of being patronized though (despite her hypocrisy).

Title	The Problem With Men Explaining Things
Author	SteelCrossx
Upvotes	16
Comments	31
Date	August 22, 2012 12:18 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ylyiq/the_problem_with_men_explaining_things/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/the-problem-with-men-explaining-things.1015327 https://theredarchive.com/post/1015327

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