This post gave me deeper understanding about why most Men are suffering.

Mod-ulate · 2025-06-18T16:30:12+00:00

Normally we don't allow cross posting. However, this is an archived post, so commenting is not available. So I am making a one-time exception.

KarateInAPool · 2025-06-17T22:40:07+00:00

I swear to god, there are more feminists on this sub than Male advocates.

Gleichstellung4084 · 2025-06-17T22:31:59+00:00

I am reading the comments horrified: For example this user explaining that the APA is combating the concept of Traditional Male Ideology. While there is a ton of merit to that (e.g. males are called to "suck it" instead of opening up) there is an obvious blind spot: Men who open up are not being considered. But this kind of introspection is lucking from Psychologists these days...

World-Three · 2025-06-17T23:44:46+00:00

It just looks like a bunch of people who went to college to get fancy degrees just to say back some of the things we've been saying either with a feminist twist, or just saying it's bad for a free bit of upvotes.

... Like they're discussing some type of movie or film where everyone they're mentioning is some fictional being without a reason to behave or feel the way that they do. Why did they even go to school?

Look, if men need anything, it's for people who should be of social and psychological esteem... To do much more than that. As it is, it feels like when Reddit kept pointing me at the teacher subreddit to see how long I could resist crashing out by how much of them are emboldened to berate children.

The problem is right in front of them and they're looking around instead of helping... It's like Onlyfans for lonely people. "I'm so happy more men are coming into therapy" why, because they're paying you? The situation isn't changing, and as far as the replies are concerned... Me sitting every single man they've spoken to down in here (this subreddit) and forcing them to read through the better articles and testimonials from men, would be more Theraputic than having men placate themselves in a system the world seems too goddamn happy to recommend.

I'm convinced everyone like this just sucks. Everyone is playing tug of war with what a "man" is, and every definition of a "man" is different per person... When feminism has taken that from men, and will police that a "woman" is whatever the hell she wants to be or do, and you can get with that program or fuck off, which many men have rightfully chosen the latter. As it is, men don't have a support group that they care for higher than their own ambition and dream to have their own love and family, and we all can understand why. A house full of cats isn't fulfilling our societally encouraged indoctrination to perform, earn, and provide. A group full of men doesn't trip the fancy of sacrifice, duty, and protection. It's not because men don't care about men at the core, it's because men weren't taught to protect or feel like doing things for other men, was as fulfilling as doing it for a woman, child or elderly.

Men have practically been written as scripture. And breaking that scripture makes the world even sometimes themselves, lose everything they're taught to respect. Not because they're viewed as people, but a service to all others deem in need of protection, and worthy of it. They can't see us until we help them, it seems. Meaning a lot of men don't matter until they do something others deem directly helpful. Take that and ship it with the fact that women downplay a lot of men's deeds nowadays as "bare minimum", and you have a lot of men out in the proving grounds just waiting to be selected for greatness they've proved countless times already...

It's terrible.

Mr_Neo-Anderson · 2025-06-17T22:16:53+00:00

This comment stuck out to me. Not because it’s right, but because it’s “reasonably wrong”

I have had extremely fulfilling therapeutic relationships with male clients. I think it is the epitome of feminist practice to be able to hold space for men to question how patriarchy affects them and what masculinity means to them beyond the socialisation they have received. Almost all of the male clients I have worked with have questioned the different ways in which they have been constrained because of the various messages they have grown up with ("men don't cry" for example) and have started to recognise how this was often blocking their capacity to relate, which lies at the heart of the increasing distress we see today - men struggle to relate to themselves and to others emotionally, and sadly they are brought up within a patriarchal culture that actively teaches them not to relate by blocking out parts of themselves. I have found that working through this is important to relate deeply in the therapeutic encounter and thereby reinforce their innate capacity to relate.

pbj_sammichez · 2025-06-18T02:38:59+00:00

We don't need your help to redefine masculinity. You want happy, healthy, self-actualized men? Then you need to let men define masculinity for themselves and FUCK OFF. Nobody, not any fucking women especially, have a right to define what masculinity is to me. Fuck off with that bullshit - I don't even like listening to other men prattle on about masculinity. Some men think cooking and cleaning is effeminate, but then you've got guys in the red pill crowd who would say cooking, cleaning, and working out are essential tasks for being a functional man. Even men can't agree.

The issue is that men always want to define masculinity in a way that includes themselves, and women want to define masculinity in a way that serves women. Nobody is asking what men should be allowed to do and think about themselves, internally. The real discussion shouldn't be, "How do we redefine masculinity in a way that suits what feminists want?" But rather, "What has happened in the past 50 years to cause men to feel like they don't have a right to define themselves as people anymore? Why is it that everyone who isn't a man seems to get to tell men how to be better men?"

And seriously, fuck off with the pedantic, half-assed shit about feminists caring about men. You cannot be a feminist in 2025 who actually respects and values men. Just the way you talk about masculinity is like it's some kind of pathology for a behavior disorder.

pbj_sammichez · 2025-06-18T02:39:08+00:00

We don't need your help to redefine masculinity. You want happy, healthy, self-actualized men? Then you need to let men define masculinity for themselves and FUCK OFF. Nobody, not any fucking women especially, have a right to define what masculinity is to me. Fuck off with that bullshit - I don't even like listening to other men prattle on about masculinity. Some men think cooking and cleaning is effeminate, but then you've got guys in the red pill crowd who would say cooking, cleaning, and working out are essential tasks for being a functional man. Even men can't agree.

The issue is that men always want to define masculinity in a way that includes themselves, and women want to define masculinity in a way that serves women. Nobody is asking what men should be allowed to do and think about themselves, internally. The real discussion shouldn't be, "How do we redefine masculinity in a way that suits what feminists want?" But rather, "What has happened in the past 50 years to cause men to feel like they don't have a right to define themselves as people anymore? Why is it that everyone who isn't a man seems to get to tell men how to be better men?"

And seriously, fuck off with the pedantic, half-assed shit about feminists caring about men. You cannot be a feminist in 2025 who actually respects and values men. Just the way you talk about masculinity is like it's some kind of pathology for a behavior disorder.

mrkpxx · 2025-06-18T02:19:04+00:00

This post lacks any biological interpretation. Everyone is equal in the beginning, but then, as if by some miracle, they're not equal in the end!

pbj_sammichez · 2025-06-18T02:39:40+00:00

We don't need your help to redefine masculinity. You want happy, healthy, self-actualized men? Then you need to let men define masculinity for themselves and FUCK OFF. Nobody, not any fucking women especially, have a right to define what masculinity is to me. Fuck off with that bullshit - I don't even like listening to other men prattle on about masculinity. Some men think cooking and cleaning is effeminate, but then you've got guys in the red pill crowd who would say cooking, cleaning, and working out are essential tasks for being a functional man. Even men can't agree.

The issue is that men always want to define masculinity in a way that includes themselves, and women want to define masculinity in a way that serves women. Nobody is asking what men should be allowed to do and think about themselves, internally. The real discussion shouldn't be, "How do we redefine masculinity in a way that suits what feminists want?" But rather, "What has happened in the past 50 years to cause men to feel like they don't have a right to define themselves as people anymore? Why is it that everyone who isn't a man seems to get to tell men how to be better men?"

And seriously, fuck off with the pedantic, half-assed shit about feminists caring about men. You cannot be a feminist in 2025 who actually respects and values men. Just the way you talk about masculinity is like it's some kind of pathology for a behavior disorder.

Smeg-life · 2025-06-18T02:38:41+00:00

I read the comments and there are some very solid takeaways:

The idea that societal change for men's roles has changed so quickly that men haven't had the opportunity to change enough to catch up is a good concept. Masculine Future shock almost. Certainly freedom to define masculinity as you want to, a bit like feminist do with femininity.

Therapy should not be your only tool in your toolkit.

It can be helpful, do your research first and don't be afraid of walking away and finding another therapist.

A therapist is not your friend.
Their training makes it hard for them to communicate with you. I don't know if there is just more money to be made being a female only therapist but they seem to be the preferred client.
The therapist who mentioned that in their clinic there are 10 female only therapists and only two will take on male clients. Well you're damned if you ain't emotionally intelligent and the barrier to achieve that can be hard.
They are certainly a cold hearted bunch, but then why should I think they care tbh.

Present_League9106 · 2025-06-18T00:15:24+00:00

I read through a few comments and was pleasantly surprised, especially considering this was posted at least a year ago. I hadn't thought progress had been made in what is pretty obviously a feminist area. I'm all for feminism learning to treat men like people and the comments I read definitely seemed to fall in line with that.

Then I read the comments here and was a little dismayed.

I did read your comments though and you seem to have good ideas. Kudos. I wish there was more discourse like this: discourse that doesn't outright reject feminism but simply reminds them where and when they're missing the plot.

To be clear, I do think the world would be better if we took the good of what we've learned from feminism and flushed the rest down the toilet.

pbj_sammichez · 2025-06-18T02:39:19+00:00

We don't need your help to redefine masculinity. You want happy, healthy, self-actualized men? Then you need to let men define masculinity for themselves and FUCK OFF. Nobody, not any fucking women especially, have a right to define what masculinity is to me. Fuck off with that bullshit - I don't even like listening to other men prattle on about masculinity. Some men think cooking and cleaning is effeminate, but then you've got guys in the red pill crowd who would say cooking, cleaning, and working out are essential tasks for being a functional man. Even men can't agree.

The issue is that men always want to define masculinity in a way that includes themselves, and women want to define masculinity in a way that serves women. Nobody is asking what men should be allowed to do and think about themselves, internally. The real discussion shouldn't be, "How do we redefine masculinity in a way that suits what feminists want?" But rather, "What has happened in the past 50 years to cause men to feel like they don't have a right to define themselves as people anymore? Why is it that everyone who isn't a man seems to get to tell men how to be better men?"

And seriously, fuck off with the pedantic, half-assed shit about feminists caring about men. You cannot be a feminist in 2025 who actually respects and values men. Just the way you talk about masculinity is like it's some kind of pathology for a behavior disorder.

pbj_sammichez · 2025-06-18T02:39:24+00:00

We don't need your help to redefine masculinity. You want happy, healthy, self-actualized men? Then you need to let men define masculinity for themselves and FUCK OFF. Nobody, not any fucking women especially, have a right to define what masculinity is to me. Fuck off with that bullshit - I don't even like listening to other men prattle on about masculinity. Some men think cooking and cleaning is effeminate, but then you've got guys in the red pill crowd who would say cooking, cleaning, and working out are essential tasks for being a functional man. Even men can't agree.

The issue is that men always want to define masculinity in a way that includes themselves, and women want to define masculinity in a way that serves women. Nobody is asking what men should be allowed to do and think about themselves, internally. The real discussion shouldn't be, "How do we redefine masculinity in a way that suits what feminists want?" But rather, "What has happened in the past 50 years to cause men to feel like they don't have a right to define themselves as people anymore? Why is it that everyone who isn't a man seems to get to tell men how to be better men?"

And seriously, fuck off with the pedantic, half-assed shit about feminists caring about men. You cannot be a feminist in 2025 who actually respects and values men. Just the way you talk about masculinity is like it's some kind of pathology for a behavior disorder.

Local-Willingness784 · 2025-06-19T02:22:10+00:00

the word entitlement was repeated like 15 times all around that post, that should tell you enough.

Title	This post gave me deeper understanding about why most Men are suffering.
Author	Typical_Grocery4244
Upvotes	70
Comments	35
Date	June 17, 2025 10:07 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1le0dsa/this_post_gave_me_deeper_understanding_about_why/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/this-post-gave-me-deeper-understanding-about-why.1554695 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554695

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