Generic double standard question about AFBB

FleetingWish · 2014-11-24T22:20:35+00:00

doing something morally reprehensible and/or don't deserve marital happiness in older age

I don't think you understand the red pill. The red pill is not a morality barometer, saying what woman should or should not do. Or even that they don't "deserve" happiness for doing things. The thing is, no one "deserves" happiness. They get what the universe gives them, and have a small degree over their lives beyond that. That small degree of control you have has to do with cause and effect.

To reference your specific example; if a woman dates a lot of hot guys who won't marry her, and then eventually marries a less attractive man who would she is going to create unhappiness for both him and her. She won't be happy, because she'll feel as though she settled... And he'll be in a loveless marriage with someone who wishes had someone better. If people "deserve" happiness, this woman should stop choosing actions to thwart her own happiness.

Aerobus · 2014-11-24T19:09:55+00:00

If you could, wouldn't you do the same (fuck women so hot they won't marry you before settling for a less hot woman who was ignored by men like you in her youth)?

Personally, no. I'm not interested in casual sex. I'd love a long, fulfilling LTR with a hot woman.

If you had an opportunity to do this and took advantage of it, would you think you don't deserve to marry the less hot woman?

Your wording of the question is weird. Thinking that you do not deserve to marry the less hot woman implies that you do not deserve any woman: the less hot one, or the hot one, which means you are resigning yourself to misery.

The nature of this question is stupid. People on TRP are mad about AF/BB not because it occurs. We're upset because when a man decides for himself that he does not want to be BB, women who planned on using him as BB become resentful and are angered by the very fact he is making a decision for himself, and not her.

Whisper · 2014-11-25T00:21:23+00:00

You have mistaken TRP for a prescriptive philosophy rather than a descriptive one.

A prescriptive school of thought talks about what should be. Feminism is an example of a prescriptive philosophy. It is primarily concerned with what men and women "should" do.

A descriptive school of thought talks about what is. Psychology is a descriptive philosophy. It is concerned with how people actually behave.

Women who fuck alphas and marry betas are pursuing an ineffective happiness strategy. They are choosing to select as a permanent mate someone less attractive than they have previously experienced. This will result in long-term dissatisfaction.

If we compare men to cars (because, remember, kids, comparing people to inanimate objects is only objectifying if those people are female!), then a woman who does this is renting a Lamborghini Aventador, Aston Martin DB9, Porsche Carrera GT, and Bentley Continental GT, all on successive weekends, before buying a Saturn, because that's all she can actually afford.

She's shooting herself in the foot in two ways. First, by experiencing things she cannot actually keep, she sets her expectations higher. She will have "champagne tastes and a beer budget", as they say. Second, she is squandering money renting expensive cars that she should (for happiness purposes) be spending on buying a slightly nicer one.

You see, women are most attractive when they are young. That's when they should be looking for a permanent mate, because that's when they are going to get the best deal.

In other words, don't waste your youth and beauty on men you cannot keep. You don't have to marry a man if things don't work out between you, but don't fuck guys who are out of your league... because they won't stay with you. If you're a 7, and you're 18 years old, you can marry a 7, or you can hook up with a series of 9s, because guys like variety and NSA sex. But after 12 years of hookups with 9s, you won't be able to marry a 7. You get a 4 instead.

So, 12 years of 8s and 9s, then 30 - 40 years of a 4? Or 50+ years of a 7? You do the math.

Breaking up a serious relationship (divorce, etc) is almost never a good idea for a woman, because each time she enters the dating market, her selection of partners gets worse.

sleuthoftrades · 2014-11-24T18:46:54+00:00

When men do the AF/BB they want to commit to the hot women. Getting a hot wife is the ideal, but maybe they just aren't good enough to land a wife as hot as they want. When women do the AF/BB thing they want both, they want to mess around with the hot guy and get the beta on the hook to provide, because the hot guy doesn't want to/can't provide [for them]. In short the male version is trying to get the best cake possible (but maybe falling short), while the female version is having two cakes and eating them too. At least, that is how I see in TRP theory.

Due to gender dynamics there won't be equivalency here - so I don't understand why people keep trying to pretend there will be an equal and opposite statement for every Red Pill statement. Maybe if women in general were the primary providers, or if women weren't valued strongly for their looks, or if men and women had libidos in the same ballpark, or if men and women had similar standards when it came to physical attraction, then maybe we could do the whole "nuh uh, you guys are the same".

EDIT: I also think this post is oversimplifying the issue. There are more things that go into AFBB aren't there? Like the wife won't want to have sex with her beta husband, because he is just a walking ATM. On the other hand, even if the husband fucked hotter women before, he is still going to want to sleep with his wife. The AFBB comes from the thinking that women get the "hot sex" out of their system and don't want to do that stuff with the BB that they are settling with.

SirNemesis · 2014-11-24T18:08:59+00:00

If you could, wouldn't you do the same (fuck women so hot they won't marry you before settling for a less hot woman who was ignored by men like you in her youth)?

Sure.

If you had an opportunity to do this and took advantage of it, would you think you don't deserve to marry the less hot woman?

I'd defend the less hot woman's right to complain about my actions and reject me because of them.

TempestTcup · 2014-11-24T18:01:52+00:00

Why would men marry a less hot woman? Men are more visually oriented than women; power, money, and charisma are every bit as appealing to women as looks, but for men looks is huge. Did the man get poor, lose power or shed his charisma?

[deleted] · 2014-11-24T21:23:48+00:00

Are we talking slavery here?

Deserve another person? WTF?

wombatinaburrow · 2014-11-25T09:53:14+00:00

By the time a woman has cracked her 30s, she has her own bucks, and doesn't need someone else to provide them. She's after love or a babydaddy.

[deleted] · 2014-11-24T18:54:33+00:00

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[deleted] · 2014-11-24T20:27:05+00:00

fuck women so hot they won't marry you before settling for a less hot woman who was ignored by men like you in her youth

Part of the problem is that this question assumes that men and women value sex and commitment equally: where marriage is more valuable then sex.

This is unfortunately not actually true generally based on the supply-demand of gender relations.

With some limited exceptions, A woman 'dating up' is dating a hot man who will fuck her but not marry her, a man 'dating up' is dating a hot woman who will marry him but not fuck him.

As a result, the idea of fucking a woman so hot she wouldn't marry you seems kind of non-sensical. An absurdly hot woman who wants to fuck you but not demand your exclusivity or resources or commitment? Awesome!

I think your ACTUAL question is whether or not there is anything wrong with pursuit of the dual mating strategy. In my opinion, no there absolutely is not. It's completely rational. If I was a hot woman or the market shifted to make my situation comparable, I absolutely WOULD do this.

adrixshadow · 2014-11-25T09:51:44+00:00

TRP has its own version of AFBB.

They can fuck sluts all they want and then marry a young hot unspoiled woman that they can train as their wife.

The problem with AFBB is that the Beta get a fucking shitty deal. They get cheated ,they get stomped, they get scorned, once they marry their life is ruined.

How women treat beta fucking disgusts me. If women were decent fucking human beings nobody would have a problem with them.

twopumpkins · 2014-11-25T15:12:57+00:00

So how AFBB any different from the male 'double standard' of not wanting to marry a woman with a high partner count? It seems like both men and women want different things in their casual partners as opposed to LTRs. Women are pissed because they can't both play the field and secure the commitment of a man and men are pissed because they can't bang 'hotties' when they are young because the 'hotties' are all banging alphas and won't want them until they're ready to settle.

It all just seems like sour-grapes to me. You see a hot chick you want but can't have her so you make up some pseudo-theory about why you can't have her.

nomdplume · 2014-11-24T20:40:57+00:00

The AF/BB thing is a load of hogwash.

[deleted] · 2014-11-25T10:21:46+00:00

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[deleted] · 2014-11-25T05:08:28+00:00

I wouldn't do it because I want it all.

chazzALB · 2014-11-25T20:25:33+00:00

Wanting the best of both worlds is the height of brattiness. It conflicts with my moral code.

Ignatius_Oh_Reilly · 2014-11-26T08:41:33+00:00

I don't think they are morally reprehensible, but I really would rather avoid being the beta sap. Basically it's a situation to avoid.

No I wouldn't.

[deleted] · 2014-11-30T02:22:04+00:00

If you could, wouldn't you do the same (fuck women so hot they won't marry you before settling for a less hot woman who was ignored by men like you in her youth)?

No I wouldn't. And I will prove it to you. Using the magic known as logic.

If a woman was ignored in the past by men, she must have been ugly, since most men are visual creatures and since we go after women for their physical assets mainly. Since women get uglier as they age, and men judge them on a visual scale, these women wouldn't even be on demand for marriage. No man wants to be stuck with an ugly woman for the rest of his life.

Also if a woman fucks you repeatedly, she will willingly be in a relationship with you. It takes a man+woman+relationship to raise a baby. This disproves you saying that hot women will fuck you but not marry you.

But if she is willing to be in a relationship with you, it doesn't mean that she will fuck you repeatedly. That is the essence of beta bux.

namae_nanka · 2014-11-24T18:31:25+00:00

The double standard that feminists so decry is based on garnering more benefits, not for some ethical reason. Else they wouldn't have been crying about divorce being only based on infidelity on woman's part in the olden days.

Title	Generic double standard question about AFBB
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	71
Date	November 24, 2014 5:50 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2na5jp/generic_double_standard_question_about_afbb/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/generic-double-standard-question-about-afbb.284274 https://theredarchive.com/post/284274

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