A couple of days ago, I, an elder Millennial, went to an in-person speed dating event.

A few women in there talked about the pandemic and beyond making everyone lonelier. While I entered the event with full knowledge of the male loneliness epidemic, I sympathized with older single women feeling lonely, too. Yes, I extended sympathy to even the single moms in attendance.

That said, some words were repeated in my head regarding settling versus falling in love:

I love you, but I never fell in love with you.

Why can't older single men be more honest about this? I am fairly confident that the number of male adults who experience serious limerence is much higher than 5%.

It is hard to the majority of older single men to redirect the limerence towards the ones they settle for, even if the roommate plus best friend plus good sex formula works out.

After all, in this subreddit, it's the third component that drops out when people settle for one another. Women tend to be the primary party responsible for dead bedrooms, with their decreased libidos.

Even older single men with r/limerence have to contend with urges for "feminine" affairs, or exit affairs, of their own. As a fearful avoidant myself, I certainly do!

P.S. - I have been romantically limerent, or in limerence, since 1994. I was romantically limerent for my "first love" from 1994 to 2010. As a Boomer, she is the aunt of my current object of limerence. I have been romantically limerent for the latter since 2008. As an elder Millennial herself, she is the niece of the "first love."