Shaming

Mr_Smoogs · 2018-03-08T16:31:48+00:00

Why do you suspect people believe fat shaming doesn't work on one hand, while on the other hand appear to claim female sexuality has been successfully oppressed for so long via shaming?

Female sexuality was historically repressed and channeled in the West because all elements of society contributed to forming the structure necessary for it to happen. Women were free to opt out, but they were no longer considered respectable, and that was a big penalty to pay in an era where women had few options to support themselves or their children.

Those structures no longer exist, so these days, slut-shaming and fat-shaming and anything-shaming might be annoying, but carry no real penalty.

wracky272 · 2018-03-08T16:35:39+00:00

Fat shaming does work, just not all the time. People are wrong in saying it doesn't work. Is it a particularly moral thing to do? Not in my opinion. There are other tactics that work better and more frequently to help a person lose weight and to do it in a healthier manner.

storffish · 2018-03-08T17:40:51+00:00

shaming only works when the social costs are high. slut shaming worked back in ye olde days because single women didn't have many economic avenues outside of marriage and known "sluts" weren't good marriage prospects. a woman's fortunes hinged on her husband's. nowadays marriage is seen as one option among many.

same for fat shaming... if you're the only fat person in the room fat shaming is brutally effective. but nowadays most of the population is fat and they go about their lives just fine. there's no dire your-fatass-will-die-alone consequences to back up the shaming.

xtsv · 2018-03-09T09:39:44+00:00

Fat shaming is justified as it is completely in their control, unlike virgin/height shaming.

I find it utterly hilarious that women expect every man to accept THEIR CHOICES (That they can change at any time) while making fun of short, ugly and virgin men that cannot control their height, face or manipulate someone to fall in love with them (prostitutes don't count as it is seen utterly pathetic by women).

MyPasswordisPutin · 2018-03-08T16:51:23+00:00

“Shame” is an internal thing. Nobody can force it on you or make you feel it. That’s a self service job you volunteer for. As far as being considered a “slut” or worse a “whore” it can def limit your options I think when it comes to what kind of guys will want you.

HauntedPepper · 2018-03-08T17:14:14+00:00

Fat shaming does work, but it's all in how you use it. If you just say "you're fat" it's probably not going to work because most women are fat anyway so they only see slightly larger/smaller versions of themselves everywhere.

Case in point: I went to school this guy and a girl, and the girl was slightly overweight, in fact, these days she would probably not even be considered fat. Guy and girl were not dating but guy would constantly crack jokes about her weight. And they were funny too (this is key). Everyone laughed. Even the girl laughed. We would all be out to eat at a restaurant and guy would say something like, "Hey Jen, I just got my hours cut at work so you're gonna have to go easy on the menu today."

Long story short, she eventually went on a diet, did cardio kickboxing or something, lost weight and looked really good. Eventually guy and girl started dating and were together for a while.

Shaming of all types does work, but it depends on how you use it and how it affects the recipient. Calling someone "fat" or a "slut" might not work but maybe "Miss Piggy" or referring to their vag as an airplane hangar might be very effective.

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oceanicallyunbounded · 2018-03-08T18:12:51+00:00

There's a difference between what works and what's ethical. Sure, you can bully someone into changing their behavior, but their mental health will suffer. Being against shaming means prioritizing that over enforcing behavioral changes.

Lacy_Drays · 2018-03-08T18:24:22+00:00

Perhaps the only thing shaming ever achieves is the feeling of repression itself. I don't think the lack of shaming causes a sort of sexual liberation. Sex will be heavy stuff for a brain to handle regardless of how ashamed, repressed or liberated you delude yourself to be.

I, on the other hand - feel like shaming people who do not want to have casual sex is a sort of a repression of morals and good civil standards :) But what do~

kandyapplez · 2018-03-09T00:00:04+00:00

female sexuality wasn't suppressed via shaming, it was suppressed via threat of being killed, raped, or disowned.

goatismycopilot · 2018-03-09T00:39:26+00:00

I think shaming can be very effective particularly when people do not have freedom, mobility, or much choice. Shaming works well in tightly controlled subcultures that are authoritarian in nature where people understand expectations of them and who are clear about the roles they are expected to fulfill.

Fat shaming works well in many Asian cultures where individualism is not important and where family and community standing means something.

I think Smoogs is actually asking how come the shaming he wants to use is discouraged and struggled to come up with a post that did not blame everything on feminism that is why this particular post is shorter than usual.

blackedoutfast · 2018-03-09T00:41:12+00:00

you have any citations for fat-shaming not working or that slut-shaming does work?

people will naturally want to avoid the bad feelings thay come with shame, but that doesn't mean they will choose to start doing the "correct" behavior. if you slut-shame a committed slut, she's probably not going to suddenly change into an innocent prude, she will just hide her slutty behavior from the people who shame her for it. fat-shaming probably just drives people to gorge on candy in private.

simcity4000 · 2018-03-09T16:13:30+00:00

In general shaming alone doesent stop people from doing the thing, it just makes them do the thing in secrecy and shamefully.

Islamic theocracies like Iran for example have horrible STD rates. People are still fucking they’re just not doing it safely.

jeffersonsexmouth · 2018-03-10T01:38:06+00:00

Shame is one of the most powerful emotions used for social control and it works whether a person is shamed by others or themselves. If some aren't affected by shame in regard to one aspect doesn't mean it has no effect regarding something else. Of course there are some who experience no shame with anything. However, most people do experience shame.

Willow-girl · 2018-03-10T14:00:57+00:00

I think the problem is that people can generally hide their sexual behavior, but their eating habits, not so much.

jerryskids_ · 2018-03-08T17:50:32+00:00

Women are shamed for being promiscuous because doing so is exploitative of men and to men's disadvantage pre-paternity testing, pre-birth control, and in marriage, it's that simple.. old hard wiring.

Men may be held responsible for raising a child that isn't theres.. that's how it's exploitative with or without the above depending on the instance cited.

Title	Shaming
Author	Mr_Smoogs
Upvotes	1
Comments	84
Date	March 8, 2018 4:26 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/82yr24/shaming/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/shaming.263322 https://theredarchive.com/post/263322

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