What do you consider marriage material?

tomatostew · 2015-06-30T21:07:16+00:00

My grandma died this year and we were all expecting it as she had been sick my whole life. Now that I'm old enough to think about my future and who I might want to have it with, I asked her how she spent over 60 years with my grandpa.

It was so simple to her, "He's my best friend. He's a good man."

I took this to heart so marriage material to me is a man that I can say that about. Thats the most important thing

Little things: also obviously I'd need to be attracted to him, he would need to be nice to my family, my mom would have to like him, passionate, humble, smart, hard worker, creative, among other nice traits

Cbus_anonymous · 2015-06-30T21:01:09+00:00

A man with these traits: adaptable, responsible, shows forethought, actions indicate compassion and kindness more than words (that is, he doesn't talk about how kind he is, he demonstrates it).

Also, you want some overlap on future plans, and probably some overlap on ideology. For myself, he also needs to be near my age, like I wouldn't likely consider someone in their 20s or 50s, even if they had all those traits. Also, intelligence is a need for me.

Sleela17 · 2015-06-30T21:20:09+00:00

Someone who is responsible (spends/saves money wisely, doesn't make impulsive decisions, has good hygiene, generally takes care of their shit.) Doesn't do drugs. Errs on the side of kindness. Doesn't have a bad temper (getting pissed off sometimes is okay, everyone does, but I don't like violent/loud bursts of anger.) Has hobbies and goals and puts a lot of effort into them. Is an artist/creative in some way (doesn't have to do it for a living, but I really just can't relate to people who don't have some sort of creative streak.) Makes an effort to get along with my family even if he doesn't necessarily agree with or even like them. Has a good sense of humor, can let the little things go. Someone "I'd like to hang out with for my whole life," to paraphrase Taylor Swift.

dragoness_leclerq · 2015-06-30T23:54:10+00:00

Marriage or LTR material for me someone who:

I genuinely like being with for extended periods of time, is "fun" to be around or simply just with.
I am sexually attracted to.
Makes me feel safe - both physically and emotionally.
I trust enough to be myself around be vulnerable with.
I can't stay mad at. One of the biggest determining factors of how much I care for someone is how quickly I am (or am not) able to get over a disagreement/argument.
Trusts my judgement/abilities.
Is emotionally open and available. And no, I don't mean whining or constantly openly crying (because even I don't do that); I mean someone who isn't closed off and reticent.

truthuncensored · 2015-06-30T20:53:03+00:00

Has to check off every item on my LTR list, with the added requirement that she be filthy rich so I can quit my job, be a stay at home husband / dad, and rack up her future alimony debt (payable to me) if we ever divorce.

RhoBautRawk · 2015-06-30T20:47:55+00:00

Someone you want to be with the rest of your life. That's really it.

CursedLemon · 2015-06-30T23:02:30+00:00

Don't think I'll be able to tell you this until it happens, if it happens.

Will_Im_Not · 2015-06-30T23:04:27+00:00

I don't even know where I'm at in life right now so I don't have a full answer to that question. But it would need to be someone that I'm comfortable with day in and day out. Most people I know wear on me after a while. We'd probably need to have similar life goals in regards to finances and having a family. I'd appreciate someone who's educated, responsible, and caring.

Idk, I haven't done serious relationships in a long time. I need to figure myself out first.

OfSpock · 2015-07-01T02:51:04+00:00

I married my best friend.

belletaco · 2015-06-30T20:57:50+00:00

Someone I will be happy to come home to and will always find attractive.

HappilySingleWoman · 2015-06-30T21:07:10+00:00

I want someone who I can trust and be comfortable with and who is somehow financially independent . My standards are probably too high .

haircombsnightmare · 2015-06-30T23:46:21+00:00

Lately, I don't see marriage as the ultimate love goal. I think there are ways to love someone without the need to think of it being eternal. More than finding someone who I want to spend my whole life with (which isn't easy), what I would like is to be able to remember our relationship as mostly happy if it ends. I'd prefer knowing it ended when it had to and not wasting a lifetime trying to make it last making us both unhappy. I recognize the value in spending all your life with someone, but I don't think it's more or less valuable than a good relationship.

If I did spend my life with someone in a marriage, I'd like someone I can be myself with. Absolutely one hundred percent sincere, and him with me. I like intelligence and sense of humor, but most of all, maturity.

dispensation · 2015-07-01T11:49:01+00:00

Most important thing is I have to be able to trust her. Doesn't want kids, that's right up there too. Other than that she has to be laid back and chill. Enjoy smoking weed and dropping acid now and then. Into some kinky shit including being sexually submissive. Have her own things in life so she has a personality and isn't only depending on me for her happiness or money. And of course we need to find each other attractive.

am_thro_way · 2015-07-01T14:28:44+00:00

Nothing. I don't want to get married.

strongalfalfa · 2015-06-30T22:11:05+00:00

Must be attractive, have money, and a good personality.

Attractive: should be a no-brainer. I'm really thankful I found rpw because of this. I had a history of dating guys that I wasn't really feeling it for, but one thing I learned from rpw is that you should only be with a guy if you're really attracted to him. I know I've angered the community, but I just want to say thank you to them for this. Ever since I've made a strict rule to only date men 6' or taller that are musuclar (my type of guys hehe) I've noticed myself loving them so much more.

Money: This honestly is a no brainer. I'm not a gold digger, but I need man that is able to provide financially. I can't date a poor person, sorry. I'm looking for something that will last. Of course I am also going to work a job and contribute to the family income, but honestly, if he can't have a job of his own, I don't think I'll feel comfortable. I don't want someone to mooch off of me.

personality: Can't be a twerp. Needs to be funny, confident, and just a good person all around. Dunno what else to say here.

wazzup987 · 2015-07-01T01:18:55+00:00

Marriage and depending on where you live cohabitation are a terrible idea for any man.

that being said my ltr reqs are

self sufficient doesn't need me doesn't see me as an entertainment device or atm. kind similar interests. likes talking or debating.

must at lest be kinky xor poly

! mono && vanilla

cxj · 2015-07-01T06:26:54+00:00

Physically attractive, high sex drive/sexually open, emotionally stable, no or low debt with a plan to pay it off, works to live, does not live to work. Desire or at least willingness to opt out of the American Treadmill and actually live life.

imaterriblelurker · 2015-07-01T08:30:49+00:00

Independent, charismatic and leaves me alone when I want to be alone.

exit_sandman · 2015-07-01T08:51:13+00:00

ITT: loads of second tier-traits.

ECoast_Man · 2015-06-30T23:38:28+00:00

Nice to look at; pleasant to hang out with; sex drive; fertile; no mental health issues.

Violets11 · 2015-06-30T23:38:47+00:00

Well to describe my SO; someone riduculously patient/understanding, good communication skills to work out any problems between us, a great sense of humour, loving/compassionate, just someone I always want to spend time with no matter what we're doing

alreadyredschool · 2015-06-30T21:14:53+00:00

No woman is marriage material, AWALT.

Reginleifer · 2015-06-30T22:37:58+00:00

I'd say... someone who has a caring, nurturing personality. Who can properly raise children and keep an eye out for them.... I believe that BP completely discounts what a boon a dedicated mother/wife is to the development of children, and that they have this idea that one can simply drop the kids off at a daycare with the double income salary and just have the same results. They certainly advocate pretty damned hard for taxpayer supported childcare.

I mean there's lot's of "perks" I'd like in a girl, intelligent, super sexy, eternally young, super fun, etc. But ultimately I think what truly makes one "marriage material" is loyalty to the cause.

When you have the family as the main goal, you resolve differences much easier. Now when you bring your side of the family, your careers, your desire for some fantasy lifestyle, etc. You got yourself a problem.

VerticalSmileyCyrus · 2015-06-30T23:46:59+00:00

I decided to marry my woman when she demonstrated that she is far too vain to ever let herself go physically, and that she has a deep and abiding penchant for sexually dominating other girls.

Great woman, doesn't trap me in monogamy, perfect marriage material.

Nazrath2112 · 2015-07-01T00:16:49+00:00

I have 2 goals in life:

Pay my bills
Be Happy

Marriage material for me would have to encompass both of those things. The only other thing would be that she be healthy.

Title	What do you consider marriage material?
Author	RedIsSafe
Upvotes	8
Comments	55
Date	June 30, 2015 8:41 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3bobgl/what_do_you_consider_marriage_material/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-do-you-consider-marriage-material.281326 https://theredarchive.com/post/281326

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